Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Love It or Leave It: Matthew Broderick’s Creepy Mustache

A photo of Matthew Broderick

Normally when we do the Love It or Leave It posts, we’re talking about some questionable fashion. Also, normally I find Matthew Broderick to be pretty damn adorable. But you guys, listen: today is not normal. I can’t stress that enough. We’re not loving or leaving the clothes on anyone’s body, and Matthew Broderick is most definitely not adorable.

Look at that thing on his face! Why? Why does that need to be there? That looks like the mustache of all the poor late bloomers you went to high school with, like the mustache of all the 15-year-old boys with body image issues who stood in front of the bathroom mirror, willing their face to just sprout some hairs. That doesn’t look like the mustache of a man who will be 50 years old this month.

Besides, if we’re being completely honest here (and we are), I honestly can’t think of anyone who looks good with a mustache. I saw this picture several hours ago, and since then I’ve been trying to think of a man who can pull off that solo line of hair above his lip, and I just can’t do it. To me, it always either looks creepy or silly, or, and this is the absolute best outcome, just sort of bland*. I can’t imagine an attractive man who also has a mustache, just like I can’t imagine how Matthew Broderick could think this actually looks good.

But what do you guys think? Am I being too much of a mustache hater? Can you tell me of anyone who gives the mustache a good name? Fill me in, friends.

*John Waters doesn’t count because I consider him to be less of a man and more of a god. And since we’re on the subject of John Waters being a god, I figure now is as good a time as any to urge you to watch a film called Mangus!, which is absolutely incredible and also features John Waters as Jesus. Seriously, please, please watch it, because it will warm your heart and make you laugh forever.

Image courtesy of Seriously? OMG! WTF!

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