Today's Evil Beet Gossip

LOOK HOW GOOD KHLOE LOOKS.

photo of khloe kardashian hot pictures photos pics
I can’t get over this. Khloe Kardashian moves away from her family to Dallas for her husband’s basketball career and something amazing happens. Something unbelievable. Something flat-out unfathomable: she’s come into her own and she really, really IS the best Kardashian. How many times have we said it on this site before I finally, actually believed it? Man. Probably a million at this point. And did you ever expect anything like it? I sure as hell didn’t.

I mean, yeah, she totally looks like she’s rocking a sixteen-inch penis in the above photo, and though I’m curiously aroused by it, I’m willing and able to look past that to see the difference that’s obvious to anyone who looks close enough: Khloe looks happy, confident, and healthy away from the poisonous gas that her phantom life-suck mother and sisters (Kim, specifically speaking) constantly leak like a half-senile, incontinent old woman.

It’s almost as if finding out that a man almost completely outside the ring of fire (read: Kris Jenner’s vagina) fathered her and has utterly freed her to be what she’s always been meant to be: not a Kardashian. Not a Jenner. Yeah, Kris Jenner’s still her mother (or so we think), but this separation puts enough degrees of difference in there that Khloe could feasibly renounce her mother’s maternity and move on to live an almost-normal life. Honestly, the girl’s only twenty-seven years old. Just think – in another twenty-seven years, people might start to forget who Kris Jenner (not to mention the other Kardashians) is.

That’s it! That’s all you need to do, K. Pick up the Odom surname indefinitely, keep your ass in Texas, and sever all ties with Those Who Aren’t Good Enough to Lick the Slime Off Your Boots.

I’m strictly speaking on behalf of your better interest, girl.

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