Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Guess Beyonce is Still Pregnant, if That’s What We’re Still Calling It These Days

photo of beyonce pregnant pictures photos pics
B’s sister, Solange, who I normally don’t follow on Twitter because she’s excessively strange (and not in a fun, quirky, or cute way), fired off an interesting Tweet the other day that I just happened to catch this morning, and it was all about the status of sister Beyonce‘s womb. From Solange’s Twitter:

photo of solange knowles twitter says beyonce is still pregnant photos pics
So, OK. We’ve apparently narrowed recent delivery options down to “not,” and according to family, Beyonce is (or at least was, as of Monday) still “carrying” her child. The child is not undergoing makeup and hair, the child is not in transit via a slippery birth canal, and the child is not on her way to People magazine’s headquarters to pose for multi-million-dollar photo shoots.

Finally, I was laying in bed last night, unable to sleep, and I got to thinking about …

… Beyonce and her baby, for whatever reason. I don’t know. Maybe I have no life, or maybe I have nothing more important to think about than the status of Beyonce’s uterus and whether or not it’s actually carrying a real, live fetus. In either case, I guess I’ll consider myself blessed that I don’t have the problems that other people might have to deal with like, you know, thinking about the validity of Beyonce’s pregnancy when I should be considering other important things, but because I’m not, like, an accountant and tax time is approaching or something, I don’t really have to worry about that business. It’s a seriously good thing I’m in the line of work that I am, and a seriously good thing I don’t stress over stressing about whether I should stress about whether or not Beyonce’s carrying her own child. Things could be so much worse.

Anyway, I was laying there thinking about reasons as to why Beyonce’d go to all this trouble to cover up the fact that she’s “pregnant” with a pillow or an inflatable pool toy, and then started in on considering her baby’s name. Tiana May Carter. It’s actually really pretty. I love the name “May” for almost everything, and even though I gossip about celebrities as my means of living, I didn’t know that Jay-Z‘s last name is Carter. Or that, you know, his first name is Shawn (side note: his middle name is Corey!).

Regardless, then I started in on the name “Tiana,” and I don’t know if you guys are Disney movie junkies like all of the people who live in my house are (ahem, my husband), but “Tiana” is the name of the Frog Princess in Disney’s The Princess and the Frog. And I love that movie, I do. But is that why Beyonce’s naming this child Tiana? Because she loves that movie as well? Is this the kind of consideration we’re giving to our unborn children these days? I’m due in 7 short weeks, and though I’ve already got a name picked out, should I go with something like Gaston? Or Lumiere?

I know it’s a stretch, but this is Beyonce we’re talking about, friends, and when it comes to her, I don’t put anything past her. She’s got this ulterior-motive thing on lockdown, you guys.

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I’ve got the lockdown on naming my womb ninja Ariel Jasmine Aurora Mrs. Potts….. Don’t even consider using it….

  • @Sarah: Name your baby “Rocko” if it’s a boy (Rocko Taylor-Spangenberg).

    If you want to ensure a baby boy is REAL tough, name him Sue Taylor-Spangenberg.

    • I came up with Rocko after watching a “Godfather” movie marathon. Some friends I was with were Italian / Mexican and the wife was pregnant with their first child, a son, and were trying to come up with a name. The name had to end in a vowel, so I thought up “Rocko”. The did give their son a middle initial of R (for Rocko!), but named him Matthew, after his father.

      When the wife delivered Matthew, the delivery team asked what name she wanted to call him. She deadpanned “Rocko”. She said everyone in the delivery room looked horrified, but she and her husband both laughed big-time.

      The son is now 15 and was not amused to find out this year what his middle initial “R” stood for.

  • Hey Sarah I think you might be going through what i oddly experienced during my pregnancy ” post baby”, I just delivered a baby boy 5 weeks already ago!! SO IN LOVE… Any-whozers, my pregnancy was so special and was my moment to finally feel all the love and everything beautiful all around due to my little pumpkin. So all they way glowing about my pregnant round self and here come Bey- Itch-once, pregnant, nonetheless!, couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to think about it. Every time i heard about her and this upcoming hip-hop,R&B/POP “royalty seed’ supposedly resting its being inside of her womb I began to grow angry… well maybe frustrated at the idea how they talk about this “out of nowhere, unknown, questionable baby bump, pregnancy like no woman has never been pregnant before Beyonce the self pro-claimed mega star. I wont give in just because of what she does for a career. Entertainment is what all the big names do to make it, its nothing but a big show to them for them to act the way they do for camera time, just to hear you talk their name in your daily life, make the big next story to top the last… boy no wonder Britney couldn’t keep up and that makes me value them and their shenanigans “talents” less and less because it takes away from ones trying to reach that level but have to first feel the Superior nature of the talked about, asked about ones in order to come up. To bring it back to my point she entertains just does it more reserved than Lady gaga, defiantly classier to personal life and stability than Kim Kardashian, makes catchy music but not enough to really catch my time, and does sustain a good track record for music and personal appearance to the media all over and it does not phase me. but when i became pregnant it damn sure didn’t flatter me to hear the bitch just flashes this bump off on display during my time to shine like all i could think is who does she think she the hell is, married to Jay-z and music possible icon does not piss me off but her pregnant at the same time as me was a bash of all magic like just uuugh shut down. She chooses my time to share more of her now when i care. Hurtful i tell ya. As I have now given birth i can yet again get back to safely caring less about her because though i did and maybe still think she is faking it all for another ploy on the public attention I realize that the bitch couldn’t win me cause its her life to deal with telling lies and that she also wont get under my skin to me like she almost did during my pregnancy just because she says she is. Over-all my pregnancy was beautiful in and out from the start to its duration and for someone regardless of career status and public fame to lie, cover up the truth.. just plain sketchy info released from her people from the moment she showcased her little baby as a media eye catcher is just sad and pathetic. To be pregnant is the most precious time in a woman’s life if she chooses and for someone to use that time given to some as a reason to stay relevant is utterly out of my reach of favorable and hopefully Sarah you can see it how I did and just enjoy your beautiful pregnant self like I did by eating all you like, enjoying the perks of special treatment, having all the sex you can handle whoooo!!. and all they way off Beyonce supposed fakeness don’t let it ruin your lovely moment. Congrats and good luck in the next seven – six weeks to come Have a great delivery.

  • I work in a very posh school. Some of the students are celebrities’ children, and all of them have very well-off parents. The names, Sarah, the names some of them have. The parents clearly have no regard for that child’s future. It almost feels like a competition to see who gives them the stupidest name.

    • So sad. I mean, whatever happened to names like Isabella or Henry or even Kate and Matthew or something?

      • Isabella went through a HUGE trend about 4 years ago. And people want unique names.

        I work in a daycare and the worst “original” girls name is Khaki.
        The worst boys name? “Dove”

        Poor, poor kids. They don’t stand a chance.

      • I concur, Isabella was huge some years ago. We have a few Isabellas around that age. And funnily enough, Dove is a very traditional name in Spain (Paloma), but it’s for girls.

  • We have a few of those, but I also teach the likes of Armani, Kiwee and Grecia (Greece, in Spanish).

  • Hello Mrs.Solange Knowles my name is Ike Nash and originally I grew up in the caribbean in an island named,St.Vincent & The Grenadines,but now I reside in the city of Ontario in the country named Canada,and I am a very very Gorgeous plus Angelic looking kid/guy,and if you Mrs.Solange Knowles,shall ever happen to be in the city of Toronto,in the country named Canada on the 26th of this month,which is the month of december,I think that you should pass by and stop in at a Restaurant called,The Only Cafe,which is located in a very cool,village,called,Donlands On Danforth,which is in the city named Toronto in the country named Canada,and the time that you Mrs.Knowles,should arrive there at,The Only Cafe,is at 6:30 PM,on the 26th of December 2012,and if you shall arrive there,I shall buy you Mrs.Solange Knowles,dinner plus some drinks,and for today here is a very very Romantic rap song that I have written for ya,and the name of it is called,Have Drinks On Me,and I wrote this song to the instrumental of a rap song called,Blaze It,using all of my very own words/lyrics,and the rap song named,Blaze It,was originally sang by a rap group named,Bone Thugs N Harmony,so here is my song for you Mrs.Solange Knowles that I have written to the instrumental of Blaze It,that was originally sang by Bone Thugs N Harmony,using all of my very own words/lyrics,take care Miss/Ms,bye now.

    Ma song,title,for Mrs.Solange Knowles,is called:Have Drinks On Me

    My chorus for her:

    Have drinks,on me,Babe,Knowles,at the end of the month,Babe,Sure,on a Friday,Sexy Babe,Pure,Pure,like Gold,that’s,who we are,Babe.

    Verse 1 for Mrs.Solange Knowles:

    We’re like,gold,more,nicer,Babe,of course,Babe,Babe,you’re a Sweet Thang,We’re like Silver,Babe,but more precious,of course,Babe,Girl,you’re a Darling,Babe,Have drinks,on me,Babe,let’s Link up,Babe,girl,I don’t Think,too much,have a seat,Babe,Eat,Sweetheart,I will,treat you,Babe,Girl,to some nicer thangs.