Lindsay. Lindsay. I know we’ve never met, but I do read magazines, and I’ve always felt like we have kind of a big sister/little sister kinship thing happening. No? Well, whatever.
Anyway. In 2009, you employed a limo service. Within a scant three months, you, Miss Lohan, racked up a bill of $33,978. I applaud you for not driving yourself, since, uh, well, I guess legally you couldn’t drive yourself. But still! Good for you!
But seriously, woman. Pay your bills. Because that teeny-weeny $30K bill has ballooned into $90,586, thanks to late fees and penalties. Plus you’re getting sued (as per usual). Don’t you feel sheepish now?
I know you don’t know what it’s like to enter your 30s still trying to pay off Fannie Mae, all because you had the audacity to get a worthless undergrad degree in the humanities, but seriously—get with it, Lohan. That gigantic, looming bill won’t magically vanish, no matter how tightly you close your eyes and will it away.
Also? When you owe a big bill, mmmmmaybe don’t run out and buy a Porsche priced at $80,000. Just some sisterly advice.