Today's Evil Beet Gossip

False Alarm: Robert Pattinson Is NOT Releasing An Album

A photo of Robert Pattinson

It’s ok, you can cry. Heaven knows I did when I heard the news that despite previous reports, our dear Robert Pattinson has no plans to make his very own album at the moment.

So I guess just go back to jamming out to your Paris Hilton records or whatever until it’s actually time to be graced with what will no doubt be the grandest thing to ever seduce your ears. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.

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  • I like Robert Pattinson point. Whether he is making the film, singing, I do not care, I’ll always be by his side. I just hope, really, that it improves the song, I still find not very nice …

  • Aaaaand that whooshing sound over your head is satire passing you right by.

    Wow.

    Anyway, anytime I see poor pattinson, the magical quote surfaces in my mind and all is well: “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.” (I also don’t believe he was hungover, but merely awkward.)

    Every time I see him or Kristen Stewart, I have to suppress the urge to find them, offer them a nice warm bath and fluffy robe, and some soup and sandwiches.

    They always look miserable, cold, hungry, and unwashed to me.