So I just spent a very long time at the post office, waiting to pick up a package. The clerk took my little orange slip and wandered off, and I literally never saw her again. Thirty minutes later—that’s 30 real-world minutes, not 30 “feels-like” minutes—a guy peered out at me and asked me if I needed anything. I was fuming, of course, because all of this occurred after I got off the phone with State Farm (I’m on Month Two of begging an adjuster to look at my car, which was brand new, was in a catastrophic hailstorm, and now resembles Edward James Olmos). I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE.
But that was the News of the Day, thanks to InTouch‘s report that the couple has separated after 13 splendiferous years of marriage. Thirteen years! That’s such a long time! Thirteen years is like standing in line at the post office annex 113,000 times!
The couple’s reps immediately went into Damage Control mode. First, a “source close to the spouses” blasted the rumor, Us reported. Next, Will and Jada’s son Trey denied the story on his Twitter account. Then Jada’s rep, Karynne Tencer, issued a statement to Entertainment Tonight (Pink is the New Blog remains skeptical, however). Then Will and Jada issued a joint statement, flatly denying the story. TMZ:
The statement reads, “Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false.”
The two add, “We are still together, and our marriage is intact.”
Um, how bad did InTouch Weekly step in it? Pretty freaking bad—the latest word is, the couple’s motherloving legal team is now involved. Nice “exclusive,” InTouch.