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1Crystal Harris Dumps Hugh Hefner Days Before Wedding

photo of hugh hefner and crystal harris pictures photos

If anyone is honestly, seriously surprised by this, give me your name and I’ll give you your sign.

Sources close to both Heffy Hefferson and Crystal Harris have confirmed that the wedding is definitely off. The reason behind the abrupt decision? Crystal wanted her own career (music) and didn’t want to have to live off of Hefner for the rest of her life – girlfriend wanted to make this fame and fortune shit happen on her own.

If you can believe that, I’ve got a really cool-ass bridge to sell you. For real.

Sources at TMZ claim that Crystal was “fed up” with the pittance of an allowance afforded to her by her fiance (she allegedly got a couple hundred bucks a week in spending, in addition to all of her bills being paid by Hefner), and this is probably why she left.

Anyway, I’m sure that the split ALSO had nothing to do with the fact that Crystal would become the laughingstock of the Serious Elite of Hollywood if she married Hefner (oh … wait) or that she’d be sleeping next to his shriveled-ass balls for the rest of his life (which probably isn’t all that long, but dag, some people just have NO PATIENCE).

I’m not a big Hef fan by any means, but this is probably the best thing that could have happened to both him and his fortune.

June 15, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah

One Response to “Crystal Harris Dumps Hugh Hefner Days Before Wedding”

  1. jeremyo says:

    that corny bill engvall bit was never funny enough to reference

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