Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Crystal Harris

Best And Worst Celeb Looks Of The Last Week of October

kelly-osbourne-christina-hendricks

It’s been a while since we’ve had a best and worst celebrity looks of the week, so here we go. This is from the last week of October. I chose Kelly Osbourne for best celebrity dressing up as another celebrity. That’s her above as Christina Hendricks. Pretty dead-on.

I promise not to overdo it on the Halloween costumes.

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Hugh Hefner And His Wife Went As Robin Thicke And Miley Cyrus And It’s Kind Of Horryfing

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Hugh Hefner and wife Crystal went as Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus for what I can only assume is a Halloween party and not a roleplaying thing. That’s great, Hef, let’s give Thicke more to brag about.

First Mr. Hefner tweeted this:

hef-crystal-thicke-miley

Before tweeting the ever-so-charming twerking photo above. When is everyone else going to get over this? And Hef, really? Repurposing a jail uniform instead of a Beetlejuice suit? Come on now. At least Crystal’s trying.

What are YOU going to be for Halloween?

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Kendra Wilkinson Wanted to Kill Crystal Harris For Hurting Hugh Hefner

kendra wilkinson hugh hefner pics

Kendra Wilkinson used to lay it on Hugh Hefner in a naked way back in her Playboy days and they’ve remained good friends since all the sexin’ stopped. So Kendra was none too pleased when Pepaw’s now-wife Crystal Harris left him at the altar the first time they were due to get married. In fact, she was so pissed about it, she actually wanted to kill the 26-year-old.

From Montana’s Big J Radio Show (via DigitalSpy):

“I got pissed off when she hurt him and he can’t go around thinking that people will automatically love her, especially after that. That pissed everybody off, that she would just leave him and dump him, use him and abuse him.

“Of course, someone like me, I wanted to kill her. So now he’s trying to get people to love her again.”

I don’t know if anyone will ever really love Crystal Harris (or Hugh Hefner, for that matter). I’m all for love across the generations, but considering wifey would rather play Uno than have sex with her husband less than a year after they married, I doubt there’s a deep soul connection there.

And yo, Kendra needs to get it together. Is Crystal “using and abusing” Hugh for his truckloads of cash? Most likely. But uh, isn’t he using her for her youthful lady bits? It all ain’t right.

Crystal Harris Is Super Happy That Hugh Hefner Would Rather Play Cards Than Have Sex


It’s been less than a year since Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris finally tied the knot (after she unsuccessfully tried to run away) and to everyone’s shock, I’m sure, 26-year-old Crystal isn’t so keen on having sex with her 86-year-old husband. While she could only say “no comment” when asked if they are intimate, she did seem way too relieved as she explained that Hef would rather play board games than do the nasty.

From HuffPost Live:

“I feel like since Hef is older now and he’s had… the phases of all the girlfriends and all that kind of stuff… I feel now is more, you know, like cuddling up and watching a movie or playing backgammon. We play Uno with the girls.”

Crystal also backtracked a bit on her previous comments that the Playboy mogul is a “two second man“, blaming it on a bad publicist and probably the truth since he’s old as dirt.

“When I first left, I did some interviews I shouldn’t have done. I was mad. It was a breakup, and I shouldn’t have done some of the things. At the time I had a bad publicist, so things did get switched and turned around.”

Well, okay. I can’t really talk about this much more because I just ate lunch and I might vomit even thinking of Hef’s wrinkly ass going at it with anyone, let alone a girl young enough to be his granddaughter, but I think Crystal has said all there is to say, anyway.

Hey, So Crystal Harris and Hugh Hefner Actually Got Married!

photo of crystal harris wedding dress pictures
And on New Year’s Eve, too, just like everyone said. Go figure—it actually happened this time.

Anyway, this is Crystal Harris and her newly (even more) jacked face on her wedding day to poor, frail Hugh Hefner, who I’m starting to pity more and more as the days go by. That dress sure is pretty though, huh?

The couple got married at the Playboy mansion earlier this week, and this is what Hugh the Man had to say about his newest blushing bride:

“Crystal & I married on New Year’s Eve in the Mansion with Keith as my Best Man … Love that girl!”

Which, hey. Sure. I guess when you’re going to be eighty-seven years old, you should be pretty thankful and happy for anything that happens to you, because really, at that age especially, you never do know which life event is going to be your last. With Hugh at almost ninety years old, this could very well be his final wedding. I mean, it probably won’t be, but there’s always that chance that Crystal Harris could be the bride that inherits the fruits of the whole Playboy empire. Can you even imagine?

Hugh Hefner’s Runaway Bride Is Back!

A photo of Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

A lot of things can happen in a year, you know? Blake Lively is on the fast track to marrying Ryan Reynolds, but this time last year, she was dating Leonardo DiCaprio, not to mention that she was right in the middle of that whole nude photo scandal. Likewise, Kim Kardashian is on the fast track to marrying Kanye West when just a year ago she was planning her wedding with Kris Humphries. Relationships can come and go just like a sultry summer wind, and if anybody knows that, it’s Hugh Hefner. Well, and Kim Kardashian, obviously.

But, if you’ll remember, last summer was supposed to be a special one for Hef. He was supposed to get married to Crystal Harris, but she left him a few days before the wedding and shacked up with Dr. Phil’s son. Last summer was crazy, wasn’t it? But like I said, a lot of things can happen in a year, so it shouldn’t be so surprising when I tell you that Hugh and Crystal are back together.

From People:

Crystal Harris, who left Hugh Hefner at the altar with a parting shot about his bedroom skills – calling him two-second man – is back at the Playboy mansion, and all seems good – for now.

“Yes I am his #1 girl again,” she Tweetedon Friday, confirming reports of a reconciliation. “Yes we are happy. Hope that clears up any confusion! Xo.”

Harris, 26, a onetime Playmate of the Month, and Hefner, 86, broke up in dramatic style in June 2011 with Harris calling off their wedding just days before the nuptials with 300 invited guests.

Hefner later expressed relief, saying, “I missed a bullet,” and Harris issued a half-apology for her comments to Howard Stern about Hef’s sexual skills.

Well, we’ll see, I guess. I don’t know, I’ve just always been under the impression that if a relationship doesn’t work the first time around, it’s probably not going to work the second time (OR THE NINTH OR TENTH TIME, PEOPLE WHO LIVE ABOVE ME. He always screams about how “I do all this shit for you, Kayla,” and by “all this shit,” I guess he means stomping around for 22 hours of the day and yelling at her constantly and testing out the new speakers in his douchey car by blasting shitty music right outside my window). Maybe that’s because my parents got divorced twice, or maybe it’s because I helped document Sinead O’Connor’s wacky relationship, but I just think that for the most part, if it’s not going to work, then it’s just not going to work.

But hey, do you think they’ll try to have another wedding?

Crystal Harris’s Engagement Ring Now Up for Grabs

Photo: Crystal Harris celebrates her ex-wedding day in Vegas, June 18, 2011

I feel absolutely terrible. I actually believed earlier reports that Hugh Hefner‘s ex, Crystal Harris, pawned off her 3.39-carat engagement ring soon after jilting her fiancé. That would have been so tacky, if it were true.

But no: she was only getting it appraised in a pawn shop. Instead, Christie’s is doing the pawning. Wow! Classy! Harris’s ring will be up for auction next month.

Photo: Christie's has Crystal Harris's ill-fated diamond ring up on the auction block

So if you have somewhere between $20,000 and $30,000 in spending money, bid now! You could own this glamorous piece of celebrity history! But go to the bank first—I heard Crystal likes to be paid in singles.

Christie’s screenshot via TMZ