You might remember that back in December, Emma Stone dyed her gorgeous, gorgeous red hair to a shade of blonde and I had really strong feelings about it. I admitted my undying love for gingers and we bonded over that. Remember?
Well, it’s been six long months of blonde hair for Spider-Man, but now, filming is over and Emma is back. I feel like a weight has been lifted from the world’s shoulders, you know, like this is one less thing that we have to have on our backs. For the first half of this year, it was like “ugh, the economy is so bad, so many horrible things are happening, we’re gonna get raptured soon, Emma Stone has gross blonde hair,” but now things feel just a little lighter. And isn’t that a wonderful feeling?
And yes, I am going to use the phrase “get raptured” for the rest of my days. It’s a fun way to refer to that apocalypse we all survived, and also I like to use it as an insult. The next time someone pisses you off, instead of instructing them to fuck off, tell them to get raptured. It’s a really great feeling too.