OK, so we all know how girlfriend’s on an international tour because she hates Americans and we’re not all that fond of her either? Well, naturally, she’s doing things that go along with tours – like having professional photographers take her pictures and stuff. The photos we have her were snapped by Vijat Mohindra, who I guess is pretty famous in certain circles, but all I have to say is what a BAD JOB he did, because Miley looks about FORTY in all of these photos.
Let’s break it down:
Miley’s forehead: where’d she get that big gash of a scar? I mean, shit! I can’t believe, in all of the hours I’ve spent studying Miley’s visage, that I’ve never noticed that before.
Miley’s eyelids: this is one of the side-effects of spending way too much time in a tanning bed. Girlfriend’s got eyelids like moth wings. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such papery-looking lids on someone so young in my life.
Miley’s eyebrows: see, now, her eyebrows are actually killer. They’re great. No other comments on that, I guess.
Miley’s way-round jaw: I know, like Lady Gaga, she was born this way, but imagine what this big-ass sucker is going to look like when she’s fifty and already has forty years on the bottle as her excuse to be all swole-faced? Hell’s BELLS.
In short, it’s gotta be a Disney thing. Look at Britney – she’s not even thirty yet, is she? And Christina? They all look SO DAMN OLD and it’s not because they’ve been famous since they walked out of the womb, either. Something’s definitely afoot here, and it’s not just alcoholism,