Today's Evil Beet Gossip

For Once, Worthy Celeb Lands Book Deal

Sarah Palin Tina Fey has reportedly landed a six-million dollar book deal.  Not too many details out yet but it is supposed to be non-fiction humor genre (obviously!).  She has emerged as one of the best comics of today.  I cannot even look at Palin without second guessing if it is really her or if it's Fey.  I betcha it's one heckuva book!  Tina Fey is a maverick!  Darn right!    Ok.  I'm done now.  *wink*...

Your Mission

Scour the internets for a YouTube montage of every time Sarah Palin said "nucular" tonight. It will exist by tomorrow morning, if there's any justice in this world. Did anyone keep a tally? It's gotta be in the double-digits. Do you think she's doing it on purpose? She must be doing it on purpose. Every inch of her appearance tonight was so choreographed; I just have this sickening feeling that Palin and her aides made an active decision to pronounce the world "nuclear" just like the average American does: incorrectly. You know, so as not to seem too edumucated. She doesn't want to come off as one of those "media elite" types with their nose so far in a book they've lost all touch with Main Street. This country wasn't built on pronouncing words the way they're spelled, dammit! It was built on hunting deer and racing snowmobiles and enthusiasm about Israel, gosh dangity darn it! Could it be? Could it possibly be that she's mispronouncing words on purpose? />Scour the internets for a YouTube montage of every time Sarah Palin said "nucular" tonight. It will exist by tomorrow morning, if there's any justice in this world. Did anyone keep a tally? It's gotta be in the double-digits. Do you think she's doing it on purpose? She must be doing it on purpose. Every inch of her appearance tonight was so choreographed; I just have this sickening feeling that Palin and her aides made an active decision to pronounce the world "nuclear" just like the...

Who in Hollywood Supports John McCain?

As it turns out, not all of the "Hollywood elite" are backing Obama. Yesterday, boldfaced named like Jon Voight, Gary Sinise, Kelsey Grammer and Dennis Miller showed up for a McCain benefit in LA. McCain, however, was a no-show for the event, opting to remain in D.C. to work on the stalled financial bill. As a result, only about 300 guests of an expected 1,500 turned out. In his stead were wife Cindy and daughter Meghan, along with "first dude" Todd Palin. Tickets were divided in...

A Note on John McCain

I know there's been a lot of posts on this website lately that seem to be poking fun of the McCain/Palin campaign. I know some people have a problem with it. And I know some people think I should come out and say where I stand on this election. This is not a partisan website, nor is it on its way to becoming a partisan website. I've been talking about John McCain and Sarah Palin frequently because they're the ones who have been fun to talk about lately. They are the ones who have been making choices and taking actions and giving interviews that are, frankly, amusing and broadly newsworthy, in one way or another. It's not that Barack Obama hasn't been doing things this month, it's just that he hasn't been doing very interesting things. He hasn't been newsworthy. And I find that fascinating. Six months ago, we all figured that Barack Obama would be the interesting candidate right now. That his campaign would be exciting. That we'd be hearing his words and his ideas and incessantly discussing his actions here, a month before the election. We thought, if nothing else, that Barack Obama would have the buzz. That there was no way an old white dude with zero skill as an orator could run a campaign anywhere near as enthralling -- as attention-grabbing -- as Barack Obama. We figured wrong. We, as a nation, have been talking entirely about the John McCain campaign for the past month, and all signs indicate that we'll be talking entirely about the John McCain campaign in the next month. Take a step back and think about it. How the fuck did he pull that shit off? It's been brilliant. Phenomenal. And if what you're looking for is a leader with the experience, the team and the finesse to think outside the box and execute risky choices that tilt the axis of history in unexpected ways ... well, folks, that's exactly what John McCain is doing right now. I'm just saying. For the sake of non-partisanship, here's a video of Sarah Palin making an ass of herself for Katie Couric. And if John McCain dies while in office, this creature becomes the most powerful human being on the planet. I'm just saying. /> I know there's been a lot of posts on this website lately that seem to be poking fun of the McCain/Palin campaign. I know some people have a problem with it. And I know some people think I should come out and say where I stand on this election. This is not a partisan website, nor is it on its way to becoming a partisan website. I've been talking about John McCain and Sarah Palin frequently because they're the ones who have been fun to talk about lately. They are the ones who have been m...

What the U.S. Really Needs Right Now Is Someone In Power Who Foreign Diplomats Feel Comfortable Sexually Harrassing

Gag me. On entering a room filled with several Pakistani officials this afternoon, Palin was immediately greeted by Sherry Rehman, the country's Information Minister. "And how does one keep looking that good when one is that busy?" Rehman asked, drawing friendly laughter from the room when she complimented Palin. "Oh, thank you," Palin said. Pakistan's recently-elected president, Asif Ali Zardari, entered the room seconds later. Palin rose to shake his hand, saying she was “hon...

BREAKING: The U.S. Economy Cannot Function Without the Constant Supervision of John McCain

So I'm trying to help my little sister buy a house in Southern California, where she's getting her smarty-pants PhD, by co-signing with her and guiding her through the murky waters of the home ownership process. And I'm on the phone last night with the lender, and, despite the fact that my sister has zero debt and my current debt-to-income ratio is, and always has been, well below 1/2, and despite the fact that we have 15% to put down and are requesting a regular-sized loan, there is still, he explains, no fucking way we're getting a loan right now. He's very sorry, and we should get back in touch in a few months. So I call my sister last night to try to explain this to her, and I start with, "So, um, you're aware that we're currently in like a major economic crisis?" and she's like, "Huh?" and I'm like, "Have you heard anything on the news about this whole collapse of Wall Street? The Lehman bankruptcy? The fact that the U.S. economy as we knew it died a couple weeks ago?" and she's like, "Oh, no. I know I should follow that stuff, but I just don't." ZOMG. The insular existence of a scientist. So for those few registered voters out there who are still BLISSFULLY UNAWARE THAT OUR ECONOMY IS COLLAPSING AND JOHN MCCAIN IS THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH WHO CAN SAVE IT, McCain is now requesting that he and Obama postpone the first Presidential debate to "focus on the economy."
"I am calling on the president to convene a meeting with the leadership from both houses of Congress, including Senator Obama and myself," McCain told reporters while in New York, where he and running mate Sarah Palin were meeting with world leaders at the United Nations. "It is time for both parties to come together to solve this problem." The White House said in a statement that it appreciates McCain's suggestion. "It's time for both parties to come together to solve this problem," McCain said. "We must meet as Americans, not as Democrats and Republicans, and we must meet until this crisis is resolved." According to Fox News, McCain has also suspended the airing of all campaign ads as he works on the crisis. According to CNN, the surprise move by McCain came just hours after the Obama campaign reached out to McCain's camp Wednesday morning to suggest that the candidates release a joint statement on the principles they think are important to incorporate in any bailout bill. The statement would also stress that it is important for Congress to work together on this bill. At 2:30 p.m. Wednesday, McCain returned the call and agreed to work together on some language for a joint statement. That statement was expected by the end of the day, along with comments from Obama on the McCain's suspension and the bailout bill. Sources reportedly told CNN that Obama would not be suspending his campaign and saw no reason to cancel Friday's debate. At press time, the Obama camp had not yet issued a statement.
I bet there is a LOT of eye-rolling going on at Obama headquarters this afternoon. />So I'm trying to help my little sister buy a house in Southern California, where she's getting her smarty-pants PhD, by co-signing with her and guiding her through the murky waters of the home ownership process. And I'm on the phone last night with the lender, and, despite the fact that my sister has zero debt and my current debt-to-income ratio is, and always has been, well below 1/2, and despite the fact that we have 15% to put down and are requesting a regular-sized loan, there is still, he explains,...