Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Late-Night Links (Back in Late Night)

Uh-oh. Looks like Nicole Richie's going to jail for this latest DUI. And just when Joel Madden was getting laid for the first time in three years... [TMZ]

Britney's new boyfriend can't get into Hyde. Also, if you'd like to dress up as a douchebag next Halloween, you can pretty much just use the outfit he wore to The Ivy this week. Everyone will totally be like "Oh, I get it. You're a douchebag." [Celebitchy]

Katharine McPhee in OK magazine. I don't know why I love her so much, but I do. [Pop on the Pop]

Jude Law plans to take his children to a South African orphanage for Christmas, to demonstrate that it is better to have a daddy who leaves your mother for a 22-year-old who he then cheats on with the nanny than it is to have no daddy at all. [Junkiness]

It is possible that Paris Hilton does cocaine. And by "possible" I of course mean "more of a sure thing than Tara Reid on St. Patrick's Day." [Celebrity Smack]

Finally! Someone moves away from character assassination and just plain attempts to assassinate Janice Dickinson. My money's on a former Top Model contestant. [Hollyscoop]

/>Uh-oh. Looks like Nicole Richie's going to jail for this latest DUI. And just when Joel Madden was getting laid for the first time in three years... [TMZ]Britney's new boyfriend can't get into Hyde. Also, if you'd like to dress up as a douchebag next Halloween, you can pretty much just use the outfit he wore to The Ivy this week. Everyone will totally be like "Oh, I get it. You're a douchebag." [Celebitchy]Katharine McPhee in OK magazine. I don't know why I love her so much, but I do. [Pop on the Pop...

David Silver is Getting Married!

Remember Brian Austin Green? 90201? An incredible TV movie with his then-girlfriend Tiffany Amber-Thiessen? He is engaged to Megan Fox of "Hope and Faith" and they have dated since she was barely 18. She is now 20 and he is 33. Oh, he also is Vanessa Marcil's (NBC's "Las Vegas") baby daddy.Here are some quotes from an interview with Megan in FHM:On Her Tattoos:"I have five. Anytime I have a feeling about anything, I get tattooed. I have a poem I wrote on my ribcage and a symbol for strength on my ne...

Elliot Mintz is Very Mature for His Age

So this is a pretty typical Paris Hilton 'razzi video. She's with her entourage -- including publicist Elliot Mintz -- attempting to leave her house, when she realizes the lights in her SLR are on, running down the battery. Hilarity ensues, blah blah blah.But here's what I love. With the crisis resolved, the gang prepares to leave the Hilton compound. Paris is in the passenger seat of a car, and Mintz is walking around the car, I assume to move into the drivers seat.Mintz says to the photog, "You...

Confirmed: Jessica Simpson Looks Like Hell in Person Lately, Too

We've all witnessed the persistent stream of atrocious, what-was-she-thinking pictures of Jessica Simpson lately, but is it possible the camera just doesn't do her justice? I mean, how could she possibly allow herself to walk out the door each day looking as bad as we think she does?E! Online's Lara Morgenson attended the opening of the newest Hollywood hot-spot, Area (how is a club already a hot-spot upon its opening? How?? (Answer: Brent Bolthouse)), and had a run-in with Simpson and CaCee Cobb in the women's...

Madonna Really Just Window Shopping for Orphans

Despite her publicist's insistence that she does not plan to adopt an AIDS-orphaned African child, Madonna continues her AIDS-orphaned African child sight-seeing tour in Malawi, which I'm told is kind of like an African safari, but, instead of admiring elephants and zebras and leaving them in peace in their natural habitat, you admire human children who have lost any remnant of hope for a life involving love and regular meals, briefly flash that hope in front of them, and then leave with it in a H...

Lunch Break Quickies: Lindsay Lohan Wants You to Know About Rehab

Katie Holmes may play the role of Victoria Beckham in an upcoming biopic about Posh's hubby, U.K. soccer star David Beckham.A publicity-starved Steve-O urinates on the red carpet at the premiere of Jackass 2. Fair warning: if you click that link, you are going to see his penis.Steve-O's penis is lovely treat, but I know what you all really crave is a peek at Rosie O'Donnell's tits. Well, then, you should watch Nip/Tuck on October 3. Or, you know, avoid Nip/Tuck at all costs for the entire month of ...

Box-Office Hits for Your Weekend

Just a few random clips I thought I'd leave for anyone who swings by this weekend.
Just a few random clips I thought I'd leave for anyone who swings by this weekend.Remember when Jessie Spano was abusing caffeine pills? Yes, you do. You reminisce about it at least once weekly with your friends. Unless you're one of the people who keeps showing up on this site searching for Cacee Cobb and Donald Faison, in which case you are 14 at best, and the only thing you know about Mark-Paul Gosselaar is that he died in a car accident at least 5 times before you finished elementary school.Speak...