Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Fred Willard Was Busted for Public Masturbation

photo of fred willard pictures hands photos
First of all, ew. The guy’s 72 years old. And yeah, I realize that 72-year-old men can still get it up (in most cases), and often don’t have the lady company that, say, a 52-year-old man might, and they have to, quite literally, take matters into their own hands, but God. Gross. And he *does* have a wife, Mary, to whom he’s been married for just about forty years.

Fred Willard, if you don’t know who he is, is most notable (to me, at least) from his cameos in two of my favorite shows, ‘The Golden Girls’, and ‘Murder She Wrote’, but he did a lot lot lot more than just those. Seriously. This guy’s comedy career has spanned as many decades as he’s been married, dating way back to ‘Get Smart’.

Anyway, Willard was quite literally caught with his pants down at The Tiki Theater in Hollywood, where movies like ‘Step Dad #2’ are played. If I have to be blunt, it’s a nudie pic theater.

As TMZ put it, Willard’s penis was “exposed and in his hand.” LOL But seriously, what do they kind of expect to happen in places like this? For people to walk in and watch these movies for the sheer art of the film? For the snazzy production design? For the amazing acting? No! They’re in there to get their rocks off, and while, yeah, I think it’s gross and disgusting that this dude was flogging Molly in public, and that places like this even exist, it’s like opening a free-pizza shop in the middle of a third-world country, allowing patrons to come in and watch the pizzas being made, but not being able to eat them. Honestly, what the hell is that shit? What do you expect to come out of this (no—no. Don’t answer that, OK?).

One way or the other, ew. Fred Willard, you should know better. It’s not like you’re a hobo off the street or something, come on.

7 CommentsLeave a comment

  • “and that places like this even exist” – ugh, this is so philistine, really… adult movie theaters have a cultural history of their own and there is nothing wrong with them… plus: by “public masturbation” I understand masturbation in a park or on the street or whatever…

    And seriously, that whole “he *does* have a wife”-thing… who are you to suggest that one can not enjoy sex with their partner AND masturbate (wherever he wants and doesn’t bother anyone)?

    I’m truly sorry, but this WHOLE post is devious, backward and offensive… as if everybode visiting a place like this were “a hobo off the street or something”…

    The only thing I’d have to agree to is that yeah, if I were semi-famous I’d probably masturbate in front of my pc… :-D

    • 1—“Philistine” as you may think my statements are, places like that *are* trashy, and I don’t care how culturally relevant they are. Trashy is as trashy does.

      2—The “he does have a wife” thing was meant to infer that it wasn’t just Fred Willard who was probably embarrassed and “shamed,” so to speak, by the incident, but that his wife, by association, would also have to endure the same public mockery. Exhibit #2’s verdict says: trashy.

      3—Offensive? Really? Come on now. You should read some of my other shit if you think this lovely little puff piece is offensive. ;)

      • OK, those places are outdated and some of them might be filthy as hell – whatever, but trashy per se? Why?

        2. I totally got the point, but Willard actually didn’t do anything anyone should be ashamed of (if he did it) – not even his wife. If I was Willards wife I’d laugh at him SO hard for this, because it’s funny that he got caught… that doesn’t mean that what he did was reprehensible.

        3. I’ve been reading this Blog since Sasha was still writing here, I’m totally fine with all of you guys offending people all of the time. It’s just that I think you’re really on the wrong side of moral river with this post.

      • I get what you’re saying. I just disagree, lol. But that’s OK—if everyone had the same opinion, boy. Things sure would be pretty bland, huh?