Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Um … Do You Want to Talk About It, Britney?

A photo of Britney Spears

Yesterday afternoon, these photos were taken of Britney Spears outside of Starbucks, and although she did have a delicious beverage (that’s my frap of choice too, Britney!), this girl did not look any kind of happy.  In doing my part to help her out, I’ve devised a list of advice to help her not look so crazy.

  1. I’m not entirely sure what could make a person’s hair do that, but when you’re having a bad hair day, just try a ponytail or a cute hat!  You’ll protect your clearly damaged hair while also protecting your face from the sun!
  2. If you’re wearing a white shirt, it’s best to wear a nude-colored bra to match your porcelain skin, Brit.  That way, the focus won’t be on that patterned bra that looks suspiciously like mesh, but instead it will be on your pretty face!
  3. There are only two kinds of people who should wear those socks:  costume party attendants and waitresses at themed restaurants.  I don’t think you are either of those, Britney, so get some hot summer sandals or a more functional pair of ankle socks, and save your calves from the sweltering heat!
  4. When you go for a more racy look, it’s always a necessary step to make sure your panties aren’t visible. A simple fix would be going for an undergarment with less fabric, or you could be especially daring and just go commando! We all know you’re no stranger to that!

I hope these tips help, Britney!

8 CommentsLeave a comment

  • At least she is wearing a bra! I'd be pissed, too. She can't go anywhere without paparazzi following her.

  • Falling off the wagon in 5…4…3…2…1, oh shit, call 911, we have a 5150….

  • She has a brain freeze from drinking that delicious and refreshing Starbuck's product. (I'm a stockholder.)

  • another option is 1) shave of your hair…oh wait nevermind 2) stop wearing white wifebeaters, it makes the poor girl look even more white trash and 4) buy the shorts that at least kind of cove the whole ass, still racy but slightly less “betcha can guess my panties' color”
    Hey as long as she's semi stable…being crazy is no fun

  • That looks just like the mesh bra-let thingy from American Apparel. I have it in black…..definitely not meant to be worn as a REAL bra brit…

  • “I’m not entirely sure what could make a person’s hair do that” It’s called wind, probably from driving around in a Ferrari with the top removed. As for the face, what makes you think she’s freaking out? Her right hand isn’t clenched. It actually looks like she’s sneezing. And the socks? Who gives a shit? 1) Maybe you spend 3 hours preening before going to Starbucks but most people don’t. 2) Fame aside, she’s a hick from Louisiana who has done more than her share of coke. I’m surprised the bitch even wears shoes.