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Heidi Montag Mourns Her Dead Relationship Poolside

Heidi Montag Mourns Her Dead Relationship Poolside

I’ll be the first to admit that I give too much attention to famewhores, but you guys are going to have to meet me in the middle on this one because these photos of Heidi Montag and her “friend” Jen Bunney are effing priceless.

Here’s the backstory: So Heidi and Spencer are “taking a break” from their fake marriage and Heidi during that time Heidi is going to stay with Jen Bunney, who you all probably recognize as Lauren Conrad’s former-BFF from Laguna Beach and the first couple seasons of The Hills. It’s interesting that Jen and Heidi would stick together, but not exactly hard to believe. We can’t forget that Jen and Lauren are no longer friends because Jen hooked up with Brody Jenner right after he’d hooked up with Lauren and the entire thing was facilitated by Lauren’s roommate and other BFF, Heidi.

Cut to today, Heidi’s parked her sad ass in front of Jen’s pool with her dogs and some paparazzi for what she does best: A totally staged photo shoot. And yes, I’m feeding into it by taking the photos from OK and posting them here, but suck it. These are the best photos I’ve seen in forever and they’ll be really hard to top.

  1. Heidi can’t act, so her emotions during this photo set go from “sad” to “sexy” to “devastated” to “check out my ass”. It’s really quite the interesting mix.
  2. Jen Bunney could not look more fucking thrilled to have people paying attention to her again
  3. Heidi, for all the money that she spent on wrecking her face, dresses like Kendra before she got to the Playboy Mansion. Cheap, cheap, cheap. It was $1 Flip Flop Day at Old Navy recently, Heidi. You should have sent your assistant.

Alright, enjoy:

43 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I get it. Heidi wants to live with a clone of herself (or maybe she showed her cosmetic surgeon a photo of Jenny and said, “copy that”).

    It must have been intolerable for her to walk around the house and not see a reflection of herself everywhere she went.

    But Heidi – beware! I saw that you can still wrinkle your forehead a little – run, don’t walk, to the nearest botox drive-through. (See the photo where you can see the underside of her shoes – she’s almost making a “poor little me” expression!

    And evilbeetdouche, sorry, but Heidi’s just for looking, not for touching. She’s going to make sure that every part of her body hurts for the rest of her life, so she just looks inviting, but you can bet there won’t be any men bumping those precious boobs any time soon.

    Il faut suffrir pour etre belle must be tattooed on her somewhere.

    • Loved that last paragraph and the French saying.
      If she hasn’t had that tattoo done yet, you should sell her your idea, it’s just perfect!

    • That French means “the wench with man-made titties is an aquarium with no fish.” Yay, titties.

    • Or the difference between “sad” and “whoring myself out for the camera” — Oh wait, it’s just the latter.

    • She can only move her facial muscles 1/4 of an inch so the looks are pretty much the same.

  • actually what surprises me is that in some photos she doesnt look that bad! the thing with her is that she’s always wearing lots of make up, but in some of these she resembles normal… still i’ll always prefer her pre-spencer era.

    and she’s separated from spencer? i totally hate those 2 but seriously who’s gonna take her plastic ass/face now? cuz spencer is having a replacement right this second i bet you, he’s a douche but i bet there are millions of non-brain famewhore heidis out there

  • I thought the headline was going to go another way –

    Heidi Montag Mourns Her Dead:

    Facial Muscles
    Natural Hair Color
    Self Esteem

    And on and on… but no worries. EvilBeetDouche will throw a few dollars out there to treat himself to her sex tape someday (next week) so she will be ok.

  • I feel like Heidi should break out into song like Hopelessly Devoted to You, or something. It’s like they’ve got contrived down 24/7!

  • hahahahaha! Totally F’ing funny. And what is even funnier to me is Heidi is almost unrecognizable!

  • I can hardly recognize Jen Bunney! She and Heidi have been on parallel paths, it seems… I count a nose job (DEFINITELY), peroxide and some seriously excessive tanning. What else?

    • For real! I was just about to start my own comment thread about how I’m hella confused about how different Jen Bunney looks! I thought she was Stephanie Pratt at first glance before reading!

      Yeah, she’s def had all the things you’ve listed….she’s still in shape but do you think she’s filled out a bit? Her face is like, a different shape or something. It used to be long and narrow….I’m confused

  • these photos are hysterical, pathetic, and so great. these images just prove the girl can NOT act, but if that’s the case, i guess they also prove there is some truth in her issues with spencer as seen on the hills – because those moments where she is crying and frustrated look pretty real.

    and i used to like the way she dressed, but it’s just getting worse. guess she’s going after that cheesey playboy bunny/barbie doll look – all pink and pastels cookie cutter crap. jeez, this girl is so sad and unhappy with herself, it shows in everything she does.

  • Way to photo-op you sadness, Heidi! Guess what you’re acting still sucks…..faker!

  • her plastic surgery is growing on me. She still looks pretty. Her nose is a little weird, but not Michael Jackson weird. Her butt looks good. Overall not too bad. No where near Lisa Rinna or Joan Rivers disasters. I just hope she stops now.

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