Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kim Kardashian’s Really Pushing This ‘Single’ Thing

Girls, you know you’ve all done it. Dude broke up with your ass, you felt all busted up inside and went on a bender flaunting your hot bod for all to see. Inside you kind of hoped that said ex would be seething with jealousy and inside you knew that you’d (probably) take him back in a heartbeat if he even hinted at it.

Well, my lady Kim Kardashian’s in Phase III of the breakup stage. Phase I consists of denial, Phase II is the eat-yourself-sick (or drink-yourself-hospitalized) week and Phase III is showing off your gorgeousness in every way you can, hoping like hell that Phase II’s calories didn’t wreck the shit.

Kim’s looking superb these days and by “superb” I mean she “hasn’t been photographed wearing anything else but a bikini” which, again, is synonymous with superb.  Hope you’re feeling in the pink, Kim — you’re sure looking it!

Oh, and you’re welcome.

16 CommentsLeave a comment

    • What does Chuck mean by “Too bad she’s still got that giant ass”? Was that idiocy on Chuck’s part? I think so.

      Kim Kardashian better keep it, we need more women with her figure in Hollywood and less of the emaciated types.

  • I am happily the benefactor of this Stage III show-off phase.

    Now if we can just get all the other bootilicious girls to get dumped and reach this heavenly Stage III…

  • What did anyone really expect with here marrying a black sports star? Did anyone really think that this would last forever and be all peaches and cream? Given the record of black sport stars, or black celebrities in general, it was a foregone conclusion.

    Now her sister is making the same mistake, and quite likely getting knocked up by one. Don’t these people ever learn?

  • Doubt what I just posted, well friends, the following was found on this site’s sister, Zela Lilly: just featured a charming and timely piece by Aaron Traister on why “promiscuous” men decide to get married at all — or at least before their oat-sowing days are truly over.

    The real question, he says, is not why Tiger and Jesse James cheated, it’s why they said “I do.” Traister writes:

    Consider how many star athletes and celebrity bad boys sleep around on their wives; now consider the scandal and professional fallout that breaks loose upon discovery. Wouldn’t it be easier for a man not to get married, at least until he decided his carrot was sufficiently wet? Why put yourself through the strain of a potentially messy extramarital affair?

    According to the article, even in contemporary American society, marriage remains a symbol of stability. It “proves” that these heterosexual husbands aren’t gay to their coworkers and friends. It makes the folks happy.

    Is opting out and being an “older bachelor” actually so bad though? “Look at George Clooney. That guy will never have a sex scandal.”

    Former Phillie Doug Glanville understood early that the life of a pro ballplayer wasn’t conducive to commitment. “[T]he physical separation combined with the romantic opportunities afforded a professional athlete were not solid ground for a marriage.” He settled down when his sports career was over.

    Traister’s theory is convincing, but I think we would be silly not to remind ourselves that for some, actions like adultery are attractive exactly because they are so taboo, so risky. No marriage, no risk.

  • Of course, the real question here is who really wants her after she’s been with a black guy. That stuff doesn’t wash off with just a bath! Marked for life like Hester Prynne.