One upon a time in Shanghai, there was a beautiful but superficial and incredibly stupid young woman who dated a guy who was kind of a jerk. This jerk had an obsession with actress and all-around hottie Jessica Alba. He plastered the wall of his home with pictures of her and often hinted to the beautiful (but superficial and stupid) young woman that he wished she looked more like Jessica Alba.
Incredibly, this match made in heaven didn’t last (gasp!)
One day, the jerk decided that he would be satisfied with nothing less than Jessica Alba herself, so he broke up with the beautiful (but superficial and stupid) young woman so he could devote more time to his hobby of finding ways around the Chinese government’s firewall to do Google image searches for “Jessica, Alba, Nip slip.” At least, that’s what the young woman says is the reason for the breakup.
Now, in a bid to win back the heart of her prince charming, this beautiful (but super…ahh, you know the rest) young woman is going to undergo massive plastic surgery in order to look more like Jessica Alba. And the Alba is not amused.
“I think you should never have to change yourself like that,” actress Alba said. “If somebody loves you, they’ll love you no matter what.”
And if they don’t love you, they won’t love you, no matter which gorgeous celebrity you pathetically and desperately try to look like.
Good luck with the surgery beautiful but superficial and incredibly stupid young woman. Enjoy being a beautiful but superficial and incredibly stupid young woman for a few more months, before you undergo the surgery and become superficial and incredibly stupid young woman with a weird amalgamated face that looks like someone melted Jessica Alba and stuck her skin on a mutilated cadaver. Because that’s how these things turn out.
And IF it works, and your ex-boyfriend– by virtue of some psychotic lapse– takes you back, he is still going to dump your ass as soon as the novelty wears off. Because that too is how these things turn out.
The End
Kelly, that was actually really sad. I don’t think she is superficial. She has extremely low self esteem and confidence. The doctor that was interviewed hit the nail on the head– she needs psychological counseling. Sadly, you know she will find a doctor to complete the procedures for her without regard to her state of mind.
Hrm. I get where you’re coming from, but I think superficial is a fair term here; as in, “concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; not deep or penetrating emotionally or intellectually; Shallow, lacking substance;”
Considering she thinks altering her appearance to look like Jessica Alba will fix everything, I think that describes her pretty well.
I agree with your definition of superficial. I just think that to use that word to describe this woman’s crippling emotional issues, is well, just superficial.
Lisa,
being superficial is what’s causing this woman’s “crippling emotional issues.”
well that and possibly her superficial friends, superficial family the superficial media/society, and quite possibly by the doctors willing to cash in on the superficiality of this woman’s emotionally crippling issues.
You know absolutely NOTHING about this woman. She could have been raped by her dad when she was 11, she could have been physically abused, she could have endured any number of things in her sad 21 years.
She is a very beautiful young woman who looks in the mirror and sees a distorted image. You wouldn’t be making fun of an anorexic would you? They look in the mirror and see fat where this is skin and bone. Wait, maybe you’re actually cruel enough to consider anorexics as superficial. Or maybe because she is “doing this for her boyfriend” that upsets you? Her EXCUSE is her boyfriend, but, sadly, the real reason is psychological. Every crazy always has an excuse to justify their actions.
Who the hell needs needs enemies when you can turn to wonderful, understanding friends like you and Kelly. Damn. Please tell me you don’t give life advice to your friends.
Lisa,
you are right neither you nor I know anything about this girl.
Her motives could indeed be very superficial or as you mentioned her actions are only a symptom of something far worse in her personal history.
So all we can do is speculate and form uniformed opinions.
Thankfully, (possible abuse/personal pain aside) she was superficial enough in her desire to be seen on TV to allow us this opportunity.
Oh, damn. I had a really nice reply and I f-ed it all up and it was erased.
Let me try again. Melissa, I don’t mean to argue with you. But, and unfortunately, I come from a really long line of crazies. I know what it feels like to hate yourself. I know what it feels like to want be someone else.
All I’m saying is this young woman isn’t quite right. If she was, she wouldn’t want to look like Jessica Alba. I believe that her desire to be Jessica is actually a desire to be ANYONE but herself. She needs to find why she doesn’t like herself before she tries to change herself. If you’ve never had to walk down this path, count yourself among the blessed.
As far as her desire to spread her craziness with millions via television and you tube, that is what we crazy people do. We want to be validated. We want to be accepted. I really don’t blame her for her feelings (besides the fact that Jessica Alba is an ugly mo-fo) or her desire to seek acceptance (that is why the cameras are there…she NEEDS you to say that you understand). I blame unscrupulous doctors for allowing the surgeries when she really needs emotional and psychological help.
Hope that makes sense.
Kelly, nice try but next time, instead of laying all the blame on the young woman, use some of those negative adjectives to describe her ignorant ex-boyfriend. He is the stupid superficial one. She’s just pathetic and a victim of low self-worth.
The boyfriend is a jerk, but it is in NO WAY his fault that his ex is so pathetic.
I honestly hope she gets help and doesn’t go on with the surgery, but let’s not pretend that she’s an innocent victim.
This kind of story makes me sad and angry at the same time. I feel sorry for the girl because she has such low self esteem and I hate the bf. Who the hell buys a wig for their gf and asks her to dress up to be Jessica Alba all the time. I’m sure that’s a fantasy for a lot of men to sleep with Jessica Alba, but what an ass!
Maybe he should get plastic surgery to look like David Beckham. Loser.
Let’s not all push the blame on the boyfriend. This girl is 21 years old and many people her age have low self esteem… but they don’t act foolish like this girl. Kelly was completely right in calling her superficial. She knows exactly what she is doing and this is just her wanting attention. Who called the news cameras? They don’t catch wind of some nobody’s desired procedures unless that nobody (ie this attention whore) alerted them of her story. Fuck all people in this mess. The boyfriend is a weirdo and the girlfriend is a drama queen looking for sympathy when she’s the one fueling this whole fire. Everyone feels like they need to take a side in these matters of fuckery and push the blame on one party. How about we all just say, “You’re both dumbasses and don’t deserve the attention you’re begging for. The end.”
it’s sad and odd that the reporters, interviewers, and the plastic surgeon see the true problem (psychological) and yet they aren’t doing anything about it. I know they probably can’t stop her, an adult, but they should at least try. I hope empathy for other humans isn’t a dying trait.
I think they are both asses and deserve each other. Unfortunately, if it doesn’t work out (which it probably won’t) she will be the one who is permanently scarred -and not just physically. He, however, can just shrug it off and go on worshiping Jessica Alba. Or whatever celebrity he fixates on next.
This makes me sad for humanity.
wait, her friends suggested this?? what the hell kinds of friends are those?
so much for there being one character in this story who’s not completely disturbed.
if i were a doctor i would never consent to perform this surgery.
looks like chinese to me
not like Alba ?
am i missing something?
Why on earth would you pay good money to look like Alba, the unofficial queen of beige?!!! I think this is the real issue here.
Get rid of the boyfriend, spend the plastic surgery money on shoes. Happiness will follow. Simples.
Kelly you are amazing! I laughed so hard at your narrative. thank you!
oh, and i love how some of these commentators do not believe in the character flaw of “superficial” or “superficiality.”
what now?
is every excuse for poor choices and displaying a lack of depth as a person going to be labeled “low self esteem and low confidence?” As if this girl is a victim somehow?
we’ve all met and or watched on tv girls like this, often it is not low self esteem so much as a poorly cultivated mind with nothing of depth going on upstairs..and these girls LOVE to be famous for their superficiality (=Tila T., Paris, Heidi)
good lord! when are people ever gonna stop creating excuses for their poor choices and character flaws?
I just watched the video…holy cow, her friends are idiotic and superficial as well!
Why no one suggested she visit a counselor/therapist to get over the creepy douchbag is beyond me!
Maybe she watches too much of The Hills and has found her Chinese “Spencer” in which case they deserve one another. I wish them well :)
“Capri Corn Dreaming’????
I thought that you had to pass a psych exam to see if you even qualify for dramatic surgery like this. The surgeon needs to have his license revoked if he just goes ahead with it. Its obvious she’s not mentally competent.