I don’t even know what to do with this story. Dina Lohan is “releasing” a line of shoes called … this is not a joke … “Shoe-han.” Which doesn’t even rhyme with “Lohan.” Things that do rhyme with “Lohan” include “Ho-han,” “Crackho-han” and “Blow-han.” Things that do not rhyme with “Lohan” include “Desperate Famewhore Stage Mother” and “Shoe-han.” I’m just saying.
And Dina won’t really have anything to do with the line, other than choosing the
colors styles materials models. Her co-creators in the line are the Long Island-based I Love My Shoes. “She will do a radio and TV commercial and she will sit in on the casting call to find two or three hot girls we need for the commercial,” I Love My Shoes founder and president Robert Yeganeh says, noting, “Although she won’t be the designer of the line … she’ll definitely have a major influence in which direction it will go.”
I kind of love that this dude is media-ignorant enough to be like, “Oh, yeah, she’s basically just lending her name to it, she won’t really be helping at all.” It’s kind of refreshing, much nicer than the typical “YES ASHLEY OLSEN WILL BE SITTING IN A SWEATSHOP IN CAMBODIA SEWING YOUR LAMBSKIN PANTS WITH HER TEETH WE SWEAR TO GOD.”
I’d get straight to dissing this line and saying it won’t sell for shit, but that’s what I said about Lindsay’s leggings line, and Kitson still can’t keep that shit in stock. So I’ll just keep quiet about the sales potential here and be content in my smugness and superiority because Dina Lohan is calling her shoe line “Shoe-han.” That’s plenty for me, yes ma’am.