Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Oh, Please Let This Be True


Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s father Joe — another overbearing stage father named Joe … interesting — is pushing to have his daughter be the replacement judge on American Idol.  Now, I understand the appeal of having a guest judge, but doesn’t it just make sense to have three judges on AI?  I never understood why they went to four.  All it does is add the potential for a tie.  

If Jess was on the panel, it would never be quite as entertaining as Paula’s antics.  However, Jessica forgets everything, so how long would it take before she starts calling her coworkers Robby, Carol and Cecil?  I can see her doing the press junket now.  “Yeah, ya’ll, I’m so excited to be the newest addition to African … uh, I mean American … Idol!  Yeah, American Idol!  That’s it!  Gosh, ya’ll make me so nervous!”

I think she’d be a great train wreck fit.

UPDATE:  E! is saying it isn’t so.  FML.

9 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I think Jess is a dumb ass, but when I saw this picture of her with the cleavage and her tongue sticking out, I swear the first thing that popped into my mind was the “Saturday Night Live” skit ” Jizz In My Pants”. She is weird and retarded but I would so love to fuck her. Beet you have your thing wanting to screw male “intellectuals”, I have my thing about wanting to screw female “dumb-fucks”. That is why I have resigned myself to knowing we shall never share a bed together.

    Yes everyone I know Wendie wrote the comments. I’m talking to Beet though. The only time it is worth directing any remark towards Wendie is if you are calling her a dumb-ass.(hey that’s how I described Jess!)

    • There is something totally fuckable about dumbasses. While my husband is a very intelligent man, most of the idiots I drool over are just that – idiots.

      Yeah, ditziness is hot. That why I love Jessica, Britney, Paris etc with a loyalty nothing can shake.

      I draw the line at douchebaggery though – there is a difference.

  • Hey “Lady GooGoo”, I recognize you! You are the old “Heatherlyisaverb” girl. Right? Not a bad photo but please do not tell me your still living in that same shitty looking apartment building in the background. Your married. You say he is intelligent. If he is not an idiot tell him to make enough money to buy you a house.

    • Yes, I am the same person, but I decided as I was giving this site another go I would change my name. And add a new photo, as I am 8 months pregnant and not as thin as in the old one, and damned if I won’t be honest.

      Thank you for your concern regarding my housing situation, but as I am in front of the public library I do not feel it within my rights to expect a new one as it is not very attractive. I assure you, it is more than adequate inside.

      I have two houses, so I am adequately housed thank you!

      (and some apartment buildings are horrid outside and quite nice inside btw. Don’t be judgy.)

      • Two houses? Good for you. You are way ahead of the game. (as long as you will not be foreclosing anytime soon).
        I’m glad you gave the site another chance. You seem tamer than you were before. I’m still the same obnoxious ass I always was. We used to butt heads a lot before. Remember “SimpleJack”?
        Nice talking to ya!

      • Oh, I do remember you, don’t remember being particularly offended by you….

        You seem to be a very finacially councelling person, thank you again for your concern but only an idiot would have two mortgages in this economy while starting a family.

        I don’t think I am any tamer, I’m just tireder and hotter. I will try to be more radical when the weather cools. Sorry to disappoint. :)