Last night was the Costume Institute Gala at the Met in New York City. “The Model As Muse: Embodying Fashion” fete was all about high fashion. Someone really, really should have let Ronnie Spector know what this party was all about.
Now, I often get flummoxed by haute couture but I do understand that it’s about fashion that isn’t wearable as much as it is art. Having said that, I’d like to offer some of my commentary, and hear yours as well, on dresses of the evening. The photo gallery is massive but you really can never see enough gowns!
Kate Moss arrived with Marc Jacobs. She looks like a cross between Elizabeth Taylor, an Oscar and Wonder Woman.
Heidi Klum looks like her Hefty trash bags got caught in a wind storm. So she belted them and called it a dress.
Anna Wintour has zero body fat and Andre Leon Talley has hers, plus his, plus I think he’s hiding Gary Coleman under his caftan.
Justin Timberlake arrived with his exploding used tampon of a girlfriend, Jessica Biel.
Ashley Olsen grabbed the 1000 thread count sheets off the bed at her hotel and went totally Scarlett O’Hara in fashioning a gown for herself.
Tom Brady and Gisele are ridiculously beautiful and should be legally prohibited from procreating.
Posh Beckham Spice, or PBS as I like to call her, actually sorta kinda smiled as did Kanye West and his girlfriend Amber Rose.
Cindy Crawford was a hot prom queen mess in a satin dress with dyed-to-match shoes, Eva Mendes looked elegant and Karolina Kurkova should thank me for spelling her name with a K, because the paparazzi agencies are never going to.
Madonna took the night off from her waitressing gig at Medieval Times, Kate Hudson wore the other half of Kate Moss’ dress, and Stella McCartney should be ashamed to call herself a designer.
Mary-Kate Olsen looked awesome, Anne Hathaway is Wonder Woman and Jessica Alba was pretty save the too heavy tight and shoe combo.
Kate Beckinsale’s dress was stunning, Katy Perry looked the best I’ve ever seen her, Helena Christensen hopefully got paid very well for wearing the disaster that is her frock.
Iman is fifty-three and looks like she’s twenty-five. I want to be Somalian like her. Billy Joel can’t believe someone so attractive agreed to marry him, and if ever there was a dress Winona Ryder should not have paid for, this would be it.
Renee Zellweger went out of her way to pick the worst color ever, and I hate to say it, but Bruce Willis’ new wife looks just like Demi Moore.
Tyra looked fierce and Eva Longoria’s husband played it classy by keeping his hand on her ass all night.
Elizabeth Hurley’s powder puff of a dress was so huge that it also appears in the background of many other pictures and Diane von Furstenberg really needs a bra.
Kirsten Dunst is a train wreck. Brooke Shields looks great as long as you don’t get too close, and I am happy to see Allegra Versace not only alive but looking much healthier.
Leighton Meester’s stylist totally, totally hates her, Ivanka Trump is looking a little broad in the beam, and the arms of Jimmy Fallon’s wife looked okay.
Ciara’s nips, Melania Trump’s Spanx and Donna Karan’s undergarments all showed through thanks to the intense lighting on the red carpet.
Rihanna looked pretty as did Blake Lively. Though I guarantee you that we’ll start seeing “Blake Lively is fat!” articles soon.
The biggest question of the night: Just how great in the rack is Ric Ocasek to have held on to Paulina Porizkova for the past twenty years?
Why was nobody trying to rescue Kate Beckinsale from that dress?? Everybody’s just walking around like they don’t notice it’s started eating the bottom half of her body!
I thought that was Gene Simmons!!! I’m so sorry, Gene. :(
Blake Lively looked freakin hot to me.
What I laughed about was that Joshua Jackson was there with two exes near each other… awkwarddddd
rachel weisz is perfection, paulina looks adorable, billy joe’s hands look like catcher’s mitts. what else? kanye’s lady friend is terrifying small children everywhere, and madonna looks like she biked there and forgot to take off her biking gloves.
Iman is married to David Bowie. Not Billy Joel. He was married to Christie Brinkley.
I’m pretty sure she was talking about the picture of Billy Joel and his much younger wife.
I don’t know why but Andre Leon Talley shoes cracked me up. The PBS comment was funny, too. Thanks for a laugh on an otherwise crappy day!
I thought Kanye’s girl looked stunning. She didnt look trashy, for once.
I actually really liked Kate Beckinsale’s dress! I thought Ivanka Trump’s dress was a nice twist to a ballerina costume. It was just longer haha.
I liked the back of Emmy Rossum’s dress, but there were no pictures of the front :[
And I agree with you Wendie, that is the best I’ve ever seen Katy Perry!
would someone please get a rifle, take ronnie spector out yonder & put her down PLEASE!
yes, like a horse or a sick cow.
shotgun.
shells.
between the eyes.
for HER OWN SAKE!
lord baby jesus… there ain’t nothing worst than a broad whose time has come and gone and she is completely oblivious to that fact.
i almost throw up from her nasty ass ‘b.o.b. ‘ (blown out belly).
fuggin G-roooosss!
My bias thoughts…
Madonna still has not got the memo that she looks desperate.
I liked Alba’s dress… but the tights and shoes killed the outfit. Such a pretty girl with no idea how to pick clothes to flatter.
I love all the big dramatic gowns. Just because there is no were else they can be worn and appreciated.
For Anna Wintour to be such a alleged force in fashion… her dress was just bizarre looking and she looks like she has no idea how to pose and look graceful.
I have no words for that dookie pile on top of Tyra’s head.
Huge pet peeve for me. Lack of wearing hose with short expensive dresses. I realize I am showing my age here… but how I hate to see ghost white legs sticking out from underneath a lovely dress. While wearing a pair of 500.00 shoes.
ugh i hate miranda kerr! she’s perfect! and secretly i want to be her! and madonna…..i feel bad for her.
Love yr funny blurbs, Wendie ! Just wish the pix could be in more of a slideshow format. Parting thought : wonder if our Gravatar will make an appearance on this comment ….
Where was Renee Zellweger?
She is in evil beets comments, but i cant find her in the pictures..
or did i just not look hard enough?