This has to be the absolute greatest red carpet this awards show has ever seen. Fantastic. Lots of good stuff here. I’m probably more interested in this red carpet than I was for the Oscars. First off, we’ve got Keith Urban, still hittin’ that Nicole Kidman good stuff. Watch that hand, Keith! There’s so much damn Botox in that woman, I bet Keith Urban’s penis doesn’t have wrinkles anymore. I bet it’s just a sleek, even line of wrinkle-free man-meat.
Then we have Jennifer “Can’t Find Love” Hewitt, who split from her fiance like twenty minutes ago and now is dragging Jamie “My Career Is As Dead As A” Kennedy down the red carpet. You couldn’t brush your hair for your first red carpet appearance in five years, Jamie?
And because of all the country albums he released last year, Matthew McConaughey was there with his baby mama, Camila Alves.
Lastly, what would an awards show be without Kellie Pickler and the magical mermaid who ate her lower body?
Lots more in the thumbnails, including Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Kaley Cuoco, Martina McBride, Reba McIntyre, LeAnn Rimes (sans her “husband”), Carrie Underwood and, of course, Carrot Top. I know sometimes I suck at labeling pictures, but I did a really good job this time so you guys can know who everyone is! Yay me!
Disturbing observations aside, I’m still attracted to Keith Urban. I’m sure his dick is very nice, and speaking of cock, where is Miley’s statutory rapist/super hunk boyfriend?
That guy your photo calls Chuck Wicks standing next to some irrelevant country music whore is also adorable, although he looks like he rented that tux. Really badly, like its obvious it isn’t fitted to him at all, or else he lost about 15lbs. in the course of the event.
On another note, I’m glad to see you return to form with such a delightfully wicked post. For a while now I’ve been worried you might be trying out for a spot on the View or something with all that sensitivity shit; glad to see you’ve come back to Bitchville. Welcome home, lovely.
Rad post Kelly, had me laughing so hard (and yeah, I said rad, what are you going to do about it?)
It’s Beet, not Kelly.
‘Jamie “My Career Is As Dead As A” Kennedy’
That made my day, thank you.
The clown shoes Jamie Kennedy is wearing are ridiculous.
Yeah I liked the Jamie comment too.
Im 100% that Keith didn’t notice that he was touching his wife’s ass. seriously that thing is flat as her back and it doesnt help that she is taller than him. its where her back would be if she was a foot shorter.
My boobs are having sympathy pains just looking at Kellie Pickler’s dress.
Seriously… Carrot-Top? How did he get invited?
Love the red dress Taylor Swift is wearing… and Jennifer Love looks great too.
The dress that just cracked me, up cause it was so bad… was the white bag dress… with the glitter one arm cape… that Carrie Underwears wore on stage for the opening music number. Just heinous.
Yet, love the shimmer glitter dress that Swift wore in the same music number…
The thing with Carrie is she tries too hard with the clothes and she just ends up looking like she is headed to prom. Pretty girl.. just in ugly dresses.
NK HAS FISHLIPS
I freaking LOVE Camila Alves’ dress! Where can I get that!? (not that i could afford it, lol)
Seems the theme for the evening was white. I guess because it’s Spring?
Thanks for labeling the pictures! :)
matt mcconahey’s baby’s mama has a fug grill.
total buttaface.
What is up with Pickler’s eyes? Every pic I see of her makes me cringe. Is it the eyebrows?