They sleep at crappy hotels!!!
Ivanka Trump flew commercial last weekend to the Aspen Food & Wine Classic, but her plane was delayed overnight in Salt Lake City due to storms. Ever the commoner, Ivanka crashed at the Quality Inn and ate Little Caesars for dinner with the $18 stipend from the airline.
You know, I used to think there was really not much difference between fancy hotels and standard motels. In my book, as long as I have an Internet connection, TV and a bed, I’m a happy camper. In fact, in my experience, the cheap motels offer free breakfast and free WiFi, whereas the expensive hotels want you to pay $17/day for Internet and $25 for breakfast. I think that’s dumb and I’ve always preferred motels. However, that was before I woke up at the Best Western in Twin Falls with seventeen bug bites. They are still there, by the way, and several of them are expanding and leaving very large, dark bruises on my arms and legs. I took pictures. (Side note: In thumbnail form, the bites totally look like nipples and they appear inappropriate. I assure you, though, that there are no naughty bits of me in these photos, so don’t bother hunting.)
This can’t be healthy. I can’t help thinking that this wouldn’t have happened if I’d stayed at a fancy hotel. Not that fancy hotels exist in Twin Falls, but still. I now officially have a fear of motels, and I’m worried about what I’m going to do about the drive back to Seattle. I seriously had a little panic attack tonight. I’m not sure if it’s the Arizona heat (it is 157 degrees here right now) or the fact that I met with a CPA to file my 2007 taxes today (yes, in June 2008) or being plucked out of my little Seattle routine (I actually miss going to my trainer) or the growing concern that I can’t properly give love to both my three cats and my dog (I am taking tips from Jon & Kate and plan to give them each “special days” with me) or the fear that I’m going to have to stay in motels again soon and possibly get new bedbug bites, but I am a walking, talking embodiment of generalized anxiety disorder tonight. I’m just a freakin’ mess right now. Vacations are supposed to be relaxing, but I really can’t wait to get back to Seattle and get back to my life and my routine. Unstructured environments are not good for me.
What the hell was I talking about?
Oh, right Ivanka.
She may have stayed at the Quality Inn, but I guaran-fucking-tee you that chick did not eat Little Caesars. Unless you consider a bottled water to be food.