Sigh. The first one was so good. The second one was so, so bad. Must they really continue to desecrate the memory of the first one by churning out these crappy sequels? I guess the box office says yes. And so it is with a heavy heart that I bring you the photos from the premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End premiere at — where else? — Disneyland.
The celeb-to-camera ratio was about 1:1. Johnny Depp was there, of course. As was Orlando Bloom. Keith Richards looked fairly sane for someone who stated that he’s snorted his father’s ashes and reportedly showed up on set too drunk to film.
Kobe was there with his family. (Hey, do you think when his wife gets horny she’s ever like, “Baby, give me some Kobe beef”? Man I hope so.) Teri Hatcher showed up with her rugrat, who I think weighs more than her mother at this point. Ian Ziering made an appearance, because, you know, why the fuck not? Janice Dickinson, wearing white shorts that should never be worn after Labor Day. Or, you know, before. Chad Michael Murray with Kenzie Dalton. Cuba Gooding, Jr. Wilmer Valderrama and a small child to whom he should probably not have access. And it wouldn’t be a premiere without Chris Harrison, host of The Fucking Bachelor. Seriously, this was not a premiere, it was a goddamn cattle call.
And, really, with Chris Harrison there, why would Keira Knightley even bother to show up? Sometimes you just know you’re not going to have the spotlight. So, you know, she didn’t show up.