Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Natural Order of the Universe Restored

I mean Just LOOK at this fucking goober.


That guy couldn’t get laid at a sex addicts meeting. Now look at the chick to his left. I’d clean her apartment for her. That’s a pun! But I really would. Dishes too.

So James Blunt and Petra Nemcova have broken up, and People magazine has confirmed it and everything. To this I say Thank God. I was starting to think the world worked in a way in which I had no comprehension, like a child lost in a movie theater playing the color bars. Now things are better. I feel better. One day at a time and all that.

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