Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lena Dunham is “disgusted” at being accused of molesting her sister

lena dunham

Lena Dunham is the fucking worst. She’s everything that’s wrong with entitled white rich girls and the way society rewards them for being marginally literate (NOT “talented”) and I can’t stand her. Uh, but that’s just me… YMMV, of course. However, people are falling all over themselves over her new book, Not That Kind of Girl… until they actually read it and realize how fucked up this girl actually is.

Here’s an excerpt that found her coming under considerable heat:

“One day, as I sat in our driveway in Long Island playing with blocks and buckets, my curiosity got the best of me. Grace was sitting up, babbling and smiling, and I leaned down between her legs and carefully spread open her vagina. She didn’t resist and when I saw what was inside I shrieked.”

“My mother came running. ‘Mama, Mama! Grace has something in there!’ ”

“My mother didn’t bother asking why I had opened Grace’s vagina. This was within the spectrum of things I did. She just on her knees and looked for herself. It quickly became apparent that Grace had stuffed six or seven pebbles in there. My mother removed them patiently while Grace cackled, thrilled that her prank had been a success.”

Uh… I don’t… I’m kinda speechless, actually. I get that little kids don’t really know what genitals are in the sexual sense and that we all do weird shit when we’re little, but a) Lena Dunham was WELL of age to know better – whether having been taught by school or her own parents and b) while kids do weird shit, she writes about looking at her sister’s vagina with some sort of weird pride, like she knows she’s going to get attention for it. Some stories aren’t meant to be shared, girl. It does not make you quirky or funny or awesome, it makes you fucking awful.

Also, not in the above excerpt but worth taking into account is the fact that she joked that she was like a sexual predator and tried all the tricks she thought a predator might. Rightfully, people thought that was pretty awful and gross and somewhat akin to sexual abuse, so Lena naturally turned it right around with her privilege and said YOU’RE the weirdo for thinking she’s weird!

lena dunham sister tweets

lena dunham sister

Boo hoo, poor Lena Dunham. Also, I love that this is somehow a political issue conjured up by the “right wing” – girl, WHAT? Get some fucking common sense. Second of all, her sister is laughing? I’m not sure if I believe that, and if she is, it’s maybe laughing at you knowing that people hate you even more than they already did. BOO, GO AWAY.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Rihanna is back on Instagram, thank God


Rihanna decided to leave Instagram behind about six months ago, after the photo sharing site… well, wouldn’t let her share certain photos that contained some pretty intense nudity. She kept adding the photos back, Instagram kept deleting them and threatened to ban her entire account, so she gave them a big “fuck you” and went on her merry way, posting all her photos to Twitter instead.

However, this past weekend gave us a glorious event: @badgalriri returned to Instagram in fine form, though she did post a lot of weird cartoon drawing things that are kinda pointless. However, we also got these gems:

Une photo publiée par badgalriri (@badgalriri) le

#niggaturtles @mdollas11

A photo posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

Hurrah! We can all rest easy once again.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Selena Gomez needs to stop crying wolf

selena gomez

Police in California are getting a little fed up with Selena Gomez, who has now called them THREE TIMES claiming that someone was in her house. How many times was there actually someone there? Zero. In fact, police have apparently told her to, you know, lock her fucking door if she’s afraid of people entering unlawfully.

From TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … an alarmed Selena called police a few days back saying she thought someone was inside her house because when she got home the door was unlocked.

Cops raced over but found no one inside.

This is the third time Selena made calls to cops fearing an intruder where there was none.

Selena had gates installed around the house earlier this year — after a stalker repeatedly showed up at her $3 million Calabasas mansion.

I’m sure it’s scary when you’re a celebrity and have weird stalkers and shit, but like… take logical safety productions instead of being crazy. Also, if you’re THAT concerned about weirdos, maybe… move to middle America and leave the Hollywood lifestyle behind? It’s easy to disappear and live a “normal” life if you really want to.

If only she kept Justin Bieber around. He could have protected her. LOLOL!

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Is Chris Brown going to be someone’s father?

chris brown karrueche tranchris brown karrueche tran

Chris Brown has been joking about wanting to have a baby with on-and-off Rihanna rip-off Karrueche Tran, but it seems like it’s maybe possibly actually happening. Someone who goes by the handle @wackstar and apparently sells “Fly Fresh Clothing” posted the above photo of Chris and Karrueche on Instagram yesterday with the following caption:


Well, okay.

Lots of wackstar’s followers seem to think this is just a stunt to get his followers up, but you would think that Chris would be speaking out against this if it wasn’t true (since he clearly knows the poster and would know about this “announcement”), but… who knows. This is a nightmare of epic proportions if this asshole is actually going to be a father. That poor, poor child.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Ben Affleck was Jennifer Lopez’s first real heartbreak

jennifer lopez ben affleck

Jennifer Lopez was married twice before she got engaged to Ben Affleck back in the early 2000s, but she still counts him as her first real heartbreak. They broke up in 2004 and JLo moved on quickly, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t completely destroyed by the end of their relationship.

From US Weekly:

In a new interview with Maria Shriver, set to air on the Today show on Nov. 3 and 4, the “Booty” singer shared just how devastated she was to part ways with the Gone Girl actor.

The revelation came during a discussion about Lopez’s new memoir, True Love, when Shriver noted how quick the star was to move on with another man after her broken engagement to Affleck. (Bennifer broke up in January 2004; by June of that year, the American Idol host was married to third husband Marc Anthony, with whom she later had twins Max and Emme, 6.)

“Right, you’re absolutely right,” Lopez, 45, told Shriver. “It was probably my first big heartbreak, and to have one of my best friends who I’d known for years, who I actually love and did have chemistry with, come into my life and say, ‘I’m here’…What you need to know is, nobody can save you or heal you,” she continued. “Only you can do that for you.”

The “First Love” singer has gotten better about that over time, but old habits die hard. “It’s still a work in progress for me. It’s how you feel as a child, you know, being a middle child and kind of being invisible sometimes, or, you know, trying to get the attention,” she explained.

“So what did I do? I overachieved,” she continued. “I was the one who ran track and I won medals every weekend. Or I was the one who would go on the show and steal the show. And that would give me confidence. But there was a part of me that just wanted love, that felt like she wasn’t worthy of the love.”

I love when celebs get all emo and self-reflective. That’s something most people work out on their own, in a journal or with a therapist, but celebs need the public validation of their emotions (meta in this instance, I know), so it’s extra ironic. I do like Jennifer Lopez, though, and I’m glad she got away from Marc Anthony. He always really creeped me out.

I wonder why she’s getting crazy over Ben Affleck again, though. Could it be that scene in Gone Girl that’s making her nostalgic? Heh.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Amanda Bynes isn’t getting her money just yet

amanda bynes

Amanda Bynes somehow managed to convince an officer at the mental health facility where she was on her 5150 hold to let her go free early, but that doesn’t mean she’s completely off the hook. Her parents still have a conservatorship over her money and while Amanda has tried to fight that, a judge isn’t having it and won’t give her full access to her funds.

From People:

On Friday, the actress sent a lawyer, Art Santiago, to appear in court on her behalf to contest a temporary conservatorship placed by a judge earlier this month that gives her mother control over her medical and financial decisions until at least February next year.

With both of Bynes’ parents, Rick and Lynn, present in the courtroom, the judge ruled that Santiago could not legally represent the star because he is not her court-appointed attorney, thus striking out her bid for legal and financial freedom.

Saying he’s been in contact with Bynes for the past two weeks, Santiago told the judge he “convinced her to voluntarily take her medication” and has been “following her progress.”

“I’ve been dealing with her for the past two weeks and believe I’m the only one she can trust,” Santiago added.

Frankly, I don’t know how the girl has any money left given her proclivities for drugs and buying strangers jewelry that costs thousands of dollars (and God knows what else). Oh, well. This is one smart decision that’s been made in this sad case.

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook

Taylor Swift is still messed up from her relationship with Harry Styles

taylor swift

We’re all pretty much on the same page that most of the songs on 1989 are about Harry Styles, right? Taylor Swift has admitted that her relationship with him – which ended back in January 2013 – was the last relationship she actually had, and ever since then she’s actually sworn off dating and plans to spend the rest of her life alone. Given that it’s nearly 2 years after the fact and she’s still feeling this way, there’s only one conclusion: he really fucked her up good and proper.

From Cosmopolitan UK:

Singing about the ‘daydream James Dean look’ in his eyes and how they will ‘never go out of style’, it couldn’t be more obviously (or sweetly) about One Direction’s Harry Styles. Not that she’ll be going back there… “I’ve learnt that just because someone is cute and wants to date you, that’s not a reason to sacrifice your independence and allow everyone to say whatever they want about you. I’m not doing that anymore.”

In fact she’s done with dating full stop for now, declaring: “It’d take someone really special for me to undergo the circumstances I have to go through to experience a date. I don’t know how I would ever have another person in my world trying to have a relationship with me, or a family. The best answer I can come up with now is ‘go at it alone. Life can be romantic without having a romance. I’m very attracted to how happy I am now.”

Well, obviously Taylor is still really young and it’s way too soon to say something so definite. However, I do think it’s incredibly difficult to have a successful relationship when you’re in the industry like she is. How could she? She’s constantly touring, being interviewed, having to meet fans, traveling around the world… it’s not really conducive to a loving and fulfilling relationship. Eventually, she’ll probably have to choose.

taylor swift cosmo

Follow us on Twitter | Facebook