Can someone take the internet away from most celebrities? Like, especially after big life events like break-ups/divorce? Pamela Anderson announced this week that she was divorcing husband Rick Salomon (again), and that realization has got her creative juices flowing, I suppose, because now she’s writing terrible divorce poetry and posting it on Facebook.
This is a long one, so I’ll just give you a taste here and then you can read the full thing behind the cut.
I know it’s bad for you…
But, this is when I wish,
I had a cigarette-
something I’ve never tried- (light up)
some kind of relief..
I wish it was Italy 40 years ago–
The moon rising over the Amphitheater–
to tremendous applause… like Herzog (clap)
Europeans don’t seem to care about silly
We do what we want anyway -
behind closed doors–
Our true character, collective complexities.
childish activities -
patterns- genetics? Attention deficit-
- …SEX … a lost art– a sickness–
Lost sensuality -
The cruel smell of orange blossoms…
I love being in love– but expectations,
make it impossible to be happy-
I’ve tried… so hard..
maybe it’s not in fashion–
Tradition…just seemed so romantic…,
I guess it’s a used up ideal –
for the old fashion…
Female security… lost-
Coded, and loaded Cell phones,
Ordering sex on line-
is like ordering a book on Amazon–
and … snooping eats you alive–
Oh dear. So basically he was cheating… again. I mean, do people never learn? Anyhow, let’s let Pamela continue with her poetic flow. It’s SO LONG!
July 11, 2014 at 10:00 am by Jennifer
Anyone want to venture a guess as to exactly how much autotune has been put into Paris Hilton‘s new single, ‘Come Alive’? I mean, this literally sounds like a computer composite of about 80 different singers rolled into one. This is not her voice, I simply don’t believe that. Also, it’s nowhere near as good as ‘Drunk Text’… but what is?
July 11, 2014 at 9:00 am by Jennifer
There are a few stories I could have written about when it comes to Ashley Benson today. For one, she’s the new face of H&M and has released some photos in some of their (rather boring, I might add) new clothes. Also, she’s on the cover of Company magazine and did some photos for that. But does any of that matter when she’s been photographed doing some topless sunbathing on a beach in Hawaii? I didn’t think so.
Uncensored photos behind the cut – but warning, they’re NSFW (obviously).
July 11, 2014 at 8:30 am by Jennifer
How on earth a collaboration between Robin Thicke and 1-800-Flowers even became a glimmer in anyone’s brain is beyond me, but here we are. The World’s Creepiest (and Most Pathetic) Pop Star teamed up with the flower delivery service to make an official ‘Get Her Back’ bouquet – as well as a cheaper option, the ‘Forever Love’ bouquet – for those times when you stick your finger up the ass of a woman who’s not your wife/girlfriend and then decide you don’t want to break up.
You can buy your desperation in the form of 18 long-stem red roses in the “Forever Love” bouquet for $64.99 or $89.99, or the romantic “Get Her Back” bouquet with 100 red roses for $349.99.
Uh… how about no? Who is really going to think to themselves, “You know, nothing says love like Robin Thicke. My wife/girlfriend/partner will LOVE this themed vase of overpriced flowers!”??? Pretty sure no one is.
At least Robin’s holding true to his word – he really doesn’t know what he’s doing, does he?
July 11, 2014 at 7:00 am by Jennifer
Emilie de Ravin is absolutely abysmal as Belle on Once Upon a Time, but I had a minor crush on her for like, the first ten minutes of Lost (which I never watched after that) so I tend to give her a pass and still find her pretty likable. In any case, it’s not like we hear much from her anyway, as she manages to stay out of the news mostly… until now.
Unfortunately, Emilie is getting a divorce from her husband of 7 years, Joshua Janowicz. Bizarrely, these two have claimed they were getting divorced several times before and it’s never happened, so this may not actually happen anyway.
Emilie’s husband, Joshua Janowicz, — also an actor — filed legal docs this week to end their 7-year marriage. Sounds clean, except for:
– Emilie filed for divorce in 2007 … 6 months after they got married.
– The divorce lay dormant for 2 years … Joshua was never even served with legal papers
– In 2009 Joshua got served, and the couple announced they were getting divorced
– They never got divorced.
So now Joshua cites irreconcilable differences. In his new legal docs, he says they’ve been separated since November.
They just can’t quit each other … or maybe now they can.
Well, I guess that’s that.
July 11, 2014 at 6:00 am by Jennifer
Jimmy Kimmel and wife Molly McNearney announced in February that they were expecting their first child together. Well, time flies, and now the baby is here! Jimmy announced the news via Twitter, as you do, and reps for the couple have confirmed that mom and baby are “doing great”. The baby’s name is Jane.
Congratulations to my beautiful and very tough wife @mollymcnearney on delivering our baby girl this morning
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) July 10, 2014
Thanks for all your kind baby wishes – turns out, not ALL tweets are mean!
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) July 10, 2014
Congrats to the happy couple!