Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Here’s the Kate Upton Ad That MTV Banned from Their Airwaves

Did you guys watch the video? Good. See, I watched the video before I actually found out why the ad was being banned, and I was all like, “Damn! What kind of ad execs think they can run words like ‘f-ck’ and ‘c-cksucker’ on television and not be banned? Did these guys actually not want the ad to run?” and then I read the accompanying statement from MTV as to why it was really banned.

Do me a favor, now. Go to the :28 mark of the video and tell me if you see anything out of the ordinary. What? No, you didn’t? OK, go back and do it again, and this time, look for an “erect nipple.” Did you see the “erect nipple” on Kate Upton? Because *that’s* the reason that the ad’s being banned from a variety of networks. Not for the profane language, not for the cockroach at the end being smushed by the dumpster (though I’m sure PETA probably had a field day with it), but because Kate Upton was nipping.

See the kind of world we live in, guys? You can talk about sucking d-cks and using sexual innuendos that could be taken in a garden variety of ways (like ‘waxing’), but you can’t show a nipple that’s doing a natural nipple thing by poking all out because girl was running. I mean, I highly doubt she was aroused by the cockroaches, or the rat-looking skateboarder, but yet because Kate Upton’s got a great rack, it’s not OK.

Excuse me for a mo’ if you would. My eyes just rolled so hard out, they popped out of my head and I think one of them may have ended up underneath the stove. Again.

Meghan McCain Was in Playboy, Didn’t You Know

photo of meghan mccain boobs pictures twitter pics
I love this girl. Like, so hard. She’s sweet and she’s savvy, she’s hot and she’s intelligent, and there’s really not a lot more hotness going on than a Republican conservative that’s willing to endorse gay marriage. Haven’t you heard? I’d totally do Meghan McCain and her fabulous, intelligent rack.

From Playboy:

PLAYBOY: Conservatives are as hard on you as liberals. Right-wing blogger Dan Riehl sniped that “this self-indulgent set of mega-breasts doesn’t belong anywhere near a TV studio commenting on anything.”

MCCAIN: Who says stuff like that? Some guys out there just can’t handle a woman with a strong opinion. And the quickest way to cut down a woman is to talk about her appearance. Do I care? No. Every guy I’ve ever dated and every boyfriend I’ve ever had—nobody ever complained about my body. And there are way more important things for me to do than obsess about my weight. We have an election going on, people!

PLAYBOY: You’ve dubbed the 2012 election cycle “the shitty sequel” to 2008.

MCCAIN: Can you argue with that? It’s just been so lame—so many debates, so much blather, so much oversaturation. Granted, my father is not running, so I’m biased, and we have an incumbent president, which changes things. But where’s the electricity? You’d think someone would rise up and tap the frustration and energy of the Occupy movement or the Tea Party, but it just hasn’t happened yet.

PLAYBOY: Visualize for a moment how America would be different had your dad won.

MCCAIN: Oh, Lord. You would have the craziest first daughter ever, who’d be making ridiculous headlines and hurting the administration every step of the way. That aside, I think Dad would have made an incredible president. The recession wouldn’t have been as bad as it is now. We wouldn’t be pulling troops out of Afghanistan and Iraq. I think morale in the military and in the country at large would be higher and we’d be much further on the road to recovery.

PLAYBOY: Do you have any tips for the offspring of campaigners on the election trail?

MCCAIN: Get sleep, be nice and shut up. I wasn’t always a peach to be around. I could have been nicer to the Secret Service and some staffers, and I voiced my opinion way too much. It’s really stressful, though. The day before Election Day, I almost overdosed on Xanax. I had …


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BREAKING: George Clooney Was Arrested in DC Today

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From TMZ:

George Clooney has been arrested in Washington, D.C. during a protest over the Sudan crisis.

Clooney was leading a protest in front of the Sudanese embassy in D.C. when he was hauled away by secret service agents.

Clooney’s publicist Stan Rosenfield tells TMZ, “They were protesting the violence committed by the government of Sudan on its own innocent men, women and children. They were demanding they allow humanitarian aid into the country before it becomes the largest humanitarian crisis in the world.”

Sources connected with George tell us he feels good about the arrest because it puts the spotlight on the crisis.

We’re told a dozen people got arrested including congressmen, leaders of the human rights community, Sudanese citizens, and George’s father … Nick Clooney.

TMZ updated the story a few minutes later, saying that Georgie was arrested for crossing a police line:

Clooney was arrested for crossing a police line … which is a misdemeanor offense.

Clooney was arrested by the uniformed division of the U.S. Secret Service … but he’s currently being booked into a D.C. police station.

I guess you aren’t a hip, humanitarian celebrity unless you get arrested for protesting something humanitarian-related and … I don’t know, foreign.

No, I’m kidding. I agree with a lot of what Clooney and others have been peddling about the Sudanese offenses, because I really think we should all be taking care of one another – and that includes all of our international friends, too – but … meh. I’m just not one of those protesting types. And there was a Mitch Hedberg joke I once heard that pretty much sums the way I feel up entirely: “I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.” Smooth, right?

RIP Mitch.

Morning Wood

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Ray J needs professional help. [Bossip]

Lady Gaga wants to get pregnant. [The Superficial]

Is Karl Lagerfeld a hoarder? [Lainey Gossip]

Is this Jennifer Aniston’s engagement ring? [Starpulse]

Jennifer Lopez cries about having good self-esteem. [Cele|bitchy]

George Clooney + Barack Obama = BFFs. [Huff Po]

Raquel Welch thinks porn has made us all sex addicts. [The Frisky]

Are single mothers damaged goods? [Bossip]

Nicki Minaj is huge and gross and plastic. [Yeeeah]

Shirtless Friday! [theBERRY]

More photos of Russell Brand and his new lady. [INFDaily]

The Kardashians will bring about the end of days. [Amy Grindhouse]

Jessica Simpson and Her Big Scary Baby. [The Superficial]

For the Rapper and/or Black Athlete in your life. [IDLYITW]

Courtney Stodden Learns to Surf

photo of courtney stodden on the beach surfing pictures photos
Wow, how is it possible that we haven’t talked about Courtney Stodden in … what, an entire week? Guys, my Courtney withdrawal actually got so bad that I went and searched for new Courtney news the other day and I came up empty-handed, save for her awesome and amazing website, which Emily talked about last week.

These photos, however, showed right up this morning as if they just knew I was waiting for them, and when I flipped through the first couple, I knew I had hit the jackpot. Or, you know, the crack pot, if we really want to get specific.

I have a question that I need answered, and I know some of you are probably going to be thinking, “Ugh, what a stupid question. Jeez, Sarah, have you never actually left your house before? Don’t you know what it’s actually like out in the real world?” to which my answer would be, “Not in a long, long time, my dear, and it’s probably better that way for everyone.” My question, without further ado, is why the hell do people feel compelled to wear full faces of makeup to the beach? Can anyone tell me the answer? Does anyone actually have any clue? Have any of you actually ever witnessed it in real life, or is this just something strictly reserved for reality star tools?

Anyway, moving on to even more important Courtney news, though I’m having a hard time understanding what could possibly be more important than COURTNEY FANCILY FROLICKING ON THE FROTHY BEACH, Courtney’s evidently trying out a new fad in addition to her “floor flashing.” See, each Thursday night, girl chooses a Thursday Night Heartthrob, and last night’s choice was none other than John Stamos. Here’s her Tweet from last night:

Who is your Thursday night heartthrob?! Mine is @JohnStamos – meow!

And if you’re wondering, no, John Stamos did not respond to her Tweet.

And John Stamos. I didn’t even realize that she knew who he was, let alone realized that he was important enough to Tweet at him. And how is it OK by husband Doug that his wifey’s gone out to solicit the attention of other D-list male celebrities? I don’t know about you all, but if I were Courtney’s husband, I’d be jealous as hell. I’d want all of Courtney’s appealing attentions focused on me at all times, and if she ever decided to leave me for another man … I just don’t know what I’d do.

Check out more photos of Courtney on the beach in the gallery, and Happy Friday!

Love It or Leave It: Russell Brand’s Mug Shot

A photo of Russell Brand

Yeah, as you can see, Russell Brand did end up getting arrested for grabbing a dude’s phone and throwing it through a window on Monday. He actually moseyed on down to the police station himself, which was a sweet thing to do. And of course, he’s already posted bail and gotten out, and he’s already paid for the window he broke in his little temper tantrum, which is also sweet. What a nice, admirable little tale of jail time, right? It could have been so, so much worse.

But man, take a gander at that crazy-eyed mug shot, would you? Did Russell get arrested for throwing an iPhone or for assisting the Manson family in another murder? Really, he looks like Jesus with a darker past and higher cheekbones. I hope he’s doing ok with the divorce and the drama surrounding it, because he sure as hell doesn’t look like it. Hey, did I mention that already? That Russell Brand looks entirely too crazy here?

Oh, So That’s What Happened with Ashley Judd’s Face

A photo of Ashley Judd

If you’ll recall, a few days ago Ashley Judd made an appearance on a show in Canada. Normally, it wouldn’t have been a terribly big deal, since she’s Ashley Judd and not someone with that terribly handy talent of being stupid for a living, but it was a big deal. It was a big deal because Ashley Judd looked pretty much nothing like Ashley Judd.

Some people thought that Ashley’s puffy face was due to weight gain, some people thought it was a puffiness due to alcohol abuse. The big guess, however, was that the lady had had some work done on her face, and that work didn’t turn out too hot. Luckily, Ashley’s rep, as well as Ashley herself, has come forward to explain what actually happened. Hint: it definitely wasn’t any sort of plastic surgery or cosmetic procedure, how dare you.

From E!:

“For the record, this is unequivocally not true,” Judd’s rep, Cara Tripicchio, told E! News. “Ashley has been battling an ongoing, serious sinus infection and flu. Therefore, Ashley has been on a heavy dose of medication to overcome it so she could get on a plane and travel to Toronto and New York to fulfill her commitment of completing four consecutive days of press to promote her new show Missing.”

Judd herself tweeted as much this morning, writing, “Thanks to all asking how I’ve been feeling. still very sick (flu + viral infection in sinuses = wicked) but staying positive & having fun.”

Hard as it may be in the wake of the speculation.

“This may have contributed to her face appearing ‘puffy’ on the talk show in Toronto, however anyone who is truly paying attention and not looking to perpetuate a ridiculous story can look online further at photos of her last night during an Apple Store event in NYC and see for themselves that there is zero sign of plastic surgery, puffiness, fillers, etc., that has become a silly and erroneous topic of conversation. Ashley is a natural beauty enjoying her 40′s gracefully.”

And just for the sake of conversation, we have a photo of Ashley Judd from last night, the photos where we can clearly see that there are “zero sign of plastic surgery, puffiness, fillers, etc.”   Here it is:

A photo of Ashley Judd

I don’t know, it still looks a little puffy to me. What do you guys think?