Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Guess the Celebrity! Waxworks Edition

Photo: Who could this wax figure be?!

Lately Madame Tussauds has been losing its touch, I think. Ah, well: that didn’t stop the legendary museum from premiering its newest waxwork in London today.

Just at a glance, can you tell who this figure is meant to be? (I think I may have already given her identity away, if inadvertently. Oops.)

Still, I don’t know. I will say that this girl is one of my favorites. She’s talented, she’s mouthy, and she’s a Serial Naked—she will always strip down for her art—and I so want to love this new statue, if only out of a sense of allegiance, and yet there is something terribly, uncannily wrong with her face.

From certain angles, she’s OK. But from other angles, it’s almost like she has an underbite, or maybe a too-round chin. And there’s something wrong with her nose, as if she perpetually smells something foul. And her eyebrows are so low and dark on her face. And—as with the wax JLo figure—she looks so irritable! Gah!

Maybe the problem is really the wig’s hairline, which gives the statue the appearance of some no-name newscaster. Maybe it’s the obvious artificial crook of the mannequin’s mismatched fiberglass arm, or else it’s that cheap and unflattering dress. Ugh, I just hate that dress.

Is it just me? Is this actually a spectacular likeness and my vision has simply gone bad? Because I am beginning to believe I ought to go right ahead and surrender my driver’s license, and maybe poke out my eyes while I’m at it. I mean, if I can’t even recognize one of my favorite actors, how am I supposed to know a stoplight when I see one?

But! In my defense! In one of these photos, the figure-in-question is flanked by two other waxwomen, and I could immediately discern who they were supposed to be. So that’s at least sort of heartening for me.

Auuuugh! Help me out, you guys! Am I really losing it, or is this figure vaguely off-kilter? And if it is the latter, and I’m not actually going crazy, what is it that makes her face so sublimely unrecognizable?

Here are three more photos:

Photo: Admittedly a close likeness, except for those bangs! And face!

Photo: And that arm! And that dress!

Photo: Here's hint. All three waxwomen have done Shakespearean movies!

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