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5Stars Without Makeup: Vanessa Paradis (or, You Know, Johnny Depp’s Girl)

photo of vanessa paradis getting coffee pictures photos
Yes, this is, indeed, the French model-mother of Johnny Depp‘s children, Vanessa Paradis, and she’s doing her business getting some coffee. This is the woman that Johnny Depp’s been committed to in a non-marriage for the last fourteen years. That’s, like, a lifetime to some people. And it makes me feel OLD, because I was totally crushing on Johnny Depp when he was Glen in the original Nightmare on Elm Street, and now I realize that, though Johnny seemed so young then, he’s actually only SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN MY MOTHER. Johnny Depp was born on June 3rd, 1963. He’s twenty years and ten days older than me. How could I have been so naive? HOW?

Anyway, this is about Vanessa today, not about my weird obsession with Johnny Depp when I was ten years old. So in case you were wondering what Vanessa looks like with makeup and probably a variety of Photoshop, have at it:
photo of vanessa paradis pictures makeup pics
Some girls have all the luck. And all of the Johnny Depp, too. ‘Cause that’s fair.

December 21, 2011 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

1Are Justin and Jessica Engaged?

A photo of Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake

Rumor in Wyoming is, Justin Timberlake finally proposed to his beloved, Jessica Biel, at a Jackson Hole ski resort. The rumor itself comes from the Twitter feed of nearby Tayloe Pigott Gallery. Tayloe Piggott looks like a classy enough operation, so this scrap of gossip seems as credible as any.

And anyway, just last month Emily speculated that something like this was on the horizon. What do you guys think? Has it finally happened?

December 21, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Jenn

1Oh, Good Grief: R. Kelly Is Ready to Film 32 New Chapters of ‘Trapped in the Closet’

photograph of R. Kelly

Here are some things you maybe didn’t know about R. Kelly:

- He has always wanted to be a movie director!

- His epic, Trapped in the Closet, was the product of “having nothing else to do, sitting around in the studio.”

- He told TMZ he now has 32 additional chapters in the bag. Now he just needs “investors” to help him film.

Thank you, R. Kelly. Thank you. This is the greatest Christmas present you could have ever given us.

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

(Photo of R. Kelly via Bossip.)

December 21, 2011 at 2:30 pm by Jenn
Filed Under: R. Kelly

0Afternoon Delight

photo of hot debra messing pictures photos pics
The Kardashians use Chinese slave labor. [The Superficial]

Punished for slumming! [Lainey Gossip]

What movie was named 2011′s most “mistake-ridden” movie? [Starpulse]

Justin and Jessica engaged? [Lainey Gossip]

Prince Harry to return to Afghanistan. [Socialite Life]

Something Tom Cruise can’t actually do. [Seriously OMG]

6 Tips for Dealing With the Holidays When You’ve Lost a Loved One. [The Frisky]

Mother Nature takes her vengeance out on Gerard Butler. [Celebslam]

Jon Hamm gets ready for his close-up. [I'm Not Obsessed]

The zombie film for non-zombie fans. [Pajiba]

Dinner ideas – or just a post to make you hungry. [theBERRY]

Evan Rachel Wood‘s engaged already? [Cele|bitchy]

Matt Damon slams President Obama again. [Huff Po]

AJ McLean got married. [Hollywood Dame]

Happy Holidays from Jen and Justin. LOL [Lainey Gossip]

Miley Cyrus is “really nice” to her fans. [IDLYITW]

Debra Messing and her husband are over. [Hollywood Backwash]

December 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Links Links Links

4Ashton Kutcher Isn’t Hurting for Female Companionship

photo of ashton kutcher pictures berlin women girlfriends cheating on demi pics
And would you expect anything else? Well, maybe, yes. Maybe if we were dealing with a man who actually had scruples and was entirely remorseful about cheating on a woman who was too good for his dumb ass to begin with, yes. It might be kind of surprising. But this is Ashton Kutcher, here; Ashton Kutcher, who cheated on Demi Moore on a damned wedding anniversary that wasn’t even spent together because of “conflicting schedules,” or as I like to call it “skanked-up booty calls in schmaltzy hotel rooms.”

These photos show Ashton getting into his private car with three – count ‘em, three – very average women who are all giving him The Eye at any given point in the photos. Lord knows where they went after, but tabloids are alluding to another hotel for another triple-titty-jaunt, complete with bareback pony rides.

The only good thing that I can say about Ashton at this point? He doesn’t discriminate when it comes to beauty, fame, or finance. He’ll do just about everyone, and I guess that’s supposed to be flattering. Or desperate, I’m not sure just yet.

December 21, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Ashton Kutcher

7Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Went Topless for Whatever Reason

photo of rosie huntington-whiteley nudes pictures topless photos pics
So, wow. I mean, wow. I’ve been nursing this girl-crush on Rosie Huntington-Whiteley for a minute now, and when I came across the temptation of running her nudes, I’d immediately jumped on it, thinking we were all in for a special holiday treat.

But you know what? I’m not that impressed. I mean, they’re boobs. They’re neither here, nor there, and there’s nothing to get all crazy about other than the fact that they’re boobs – nude boobs – that happen to belong to a hot semi-celebrity.

In all honesty? I expected fireworks. Pyrotechnic emissions. Apple pie and checkered tablecloths. Hell. I’m more excited about this girl’s lips than anything else, and that speaks volumes, guys.

The NSFW photos are after the jump, if you’re still all that into it.


December 21, 2011 at 11:30 am by Sarah