No, but really. You will not even believe how crazy Tila Tequila is these days. She’s so crazy that it’s not even funny (ok, probably it is a little funny).
You know those people who go on and on about the Illuminati all the time? Tila is now one of those people, and she’s been flooding her blog with all this new information about how she was Joan of Arc in a past life and how the moon is the Illluminati base and how when she overdosed earlier this year, she was actually dead for three days, and on the third day, she met Jesus.
She’s said way, way too many words about all of this for me to post it all, so you should probably just go read through all of her posts. In the meantime, let me show you some highlights:
I DECLARE A WAR BUT NO SOLDIERS, JUST ME, THE PEOPLE, AND ALL OF YOU SO CALLED ILLUMINATI, ELITIST COWARDS! I HAVE ALL YOUR SECRETS, I AM MUCH WISER THAN I WAS BACK THEN WHEN YOU F-CKED ME OVER SO BAD I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO JUST DIE FROM ALL THE PAIN YOU ORCHESTRATED AND INFLICTED UPON MY SOUL! MY TILA ARMY AND THE WORLD AT LARGE HAS YOU WAAAAAAAAY OUT NUMBERED!!
SHOULD I TELL THEM ABOUT THE SUPER HUMANS THAT EXIST AND ALL OF THOSE EXPERIMENTS YOU DO ON THEM TO USE THEIR POWERS FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT? SHOULD I TELL THEM THAT IS WHY SO MANY “MISSING CHILDREN” POP UP EACH YEAR BECAUSE YOU SADISTIC F-CKS WERE THE ONES BEHIND IT??! AGAIN, THERE ARE STILL PLENTY OF US OUT HERE WITH SUPER POWERS AND I WILL GATHER THEM ALL TOGETHER AND YOU EVIL PRICKS ARE ALL GOING DOWN!!!
SO WHAT IF YOU ARE ALIEN HYBRID? THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU OWN US!
SHALL I TELL THE PEOPLE ABOUT THE ENTIRE CITY INSIDE THE HOLLOW EARTH??? SHALL I TELL THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CAME HERE AND LEFT YOUR OWN PLANET TO INFILTRATE OURS AND NOW SOME OF YOU STILL CURRENTLY RESIDE ON THE MOON!
That was from her letter to the Illuminati, but now let’s just kick back and let her talk directly to us (unless you are an Illuminati):
ALL OF A SUDDEN I REALIZED NOT ONLY ARE THE CIA READING ALL OF MY EMAILS, THEY ARE ALSO POSING AS MY FRIENDS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT INFORMATION!!! BUT UNFORTUNATELY FOR THEM I AM TOO SMART TO TELL ANYONE ANY INFORMATION!!!!!
I have learned that I am actually Eina from GAIA and also the incarnate of the TRUE Melchizedek! (yes the word I couldn’t even pronounce before while I was reading to you guys the true biblical scriptures of the origins of “man kind”) and now I found I am am actually indeed the incarnate of Melchizedek! Whoa!
Aside from that, I was also indeed “JOAN OF ARC” in another one of my past lives!!!!! It makes so much sense now! I mean, Joan of Arc and myself share incredibly similar things!
Everything I talk about now, it is only and always in the 5th dimension frequency! For instance I cannot relate to anything here on Earth anymore. Everything I speak of is always in a very spiritual manner and My “HUMAN 3rd dimension body” is CONSTANTLY disappearing and reappearing all the time now!
I WILL be disappearing soon in the new Kingdom of God in the 5th Dimension back to my true light soul once again, and I shall be disappearing VERY SOON! The only reason why I am still here, when indeed I have already given my certificate to Enter the new Kingdom of God, but I choose to stay here just for a little longer because it would hurt me deeply (just because I have been granted access to the 5th Dimension and given my “GALACTIC CARD” to travel to all 12 dimensions) doesn’t mean I can just leave you guys here and forget about you! I told you this once before and I shall say it again, “I HAVE NEVER LEFT YOU NOR WILL I EVER LEAVE YOU!”
Yeah. So happy birthday, Tila! Hopefully someone close to you will get you a thorough psychiatric evaluation as a gift.
October 24, 2012 at 10:30 am by Emily
Last month, Tila Tequila was in a bad, bad place. She had a brain aneurysm, and in an attempt to deal with the pain, took two bottles of prescription drugs. She overdosed and nearly died. Then she went to rehab!
Here’s the story about how she turned over a brand new leaf:
On the aneurysm: “I can remember feeling like the bones were popping out the side of my head [because] the pain was so bad. I took some medications and tried to go for a nap, but when I woke up I was vomiting. I really thought I was going to die.”
On life after rehab: “Honestly, I feel like I have been reborn. I should have died and feel blessed to have another chance at life and I intend to grasp it. I got excellent treatment and I did a total detox of all substances and medications. This was really tough but I managed to do it.”
On counseling: Tequila also participated in group and personal counseling sessions, which she says “was really helpful because I got to wipe the slate clean and could talk about a lot of things that I was embarrassed about before.” She adds: “I also got to hear other people talking about their issues and was able to just listen and offer my support to them, too. It really was a great experience for me and I came away from it feeling like a new person.”
On helping others: “I love talking to people and hopefully I can help them if they have problems. This whole experience has made me think about going back to school and taking psychiatry classes as I feel like I could really help people who have issues.”
On the rest of her life: “I would like to get married and have a family and move forward in a positive way. I feel like God was not ready to take me, and I have to make the most of this opportunity that I have been given,” she says. “It’s odd because what I went through was totally horrible, but I’m glad that I did because it has given me a new lease on life.”
Ok, as far as I can tell, there can only be a handful of reasons for this remarkably coherent, sort of heartwarming interview from good ol’ Tila here. One: it’s total bullshit. After all, this is a girl whose last name is Tequila, it wouldn’t be a total shock if she was just spouting all this off while sipping a margarita. Another option is that this is just a temporary change, and in a couple weeks we’ll get our old Tila back. The final reason for Tila Tequila’s new behavior is that she’s actually changed. Wouldn’t that be crazy, if we lived in a world where a girl like Tila Tequila can go through this horrific event and come out a changed woman who’s a valuable member of society?
Which one do you think it is?
April 10, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily
From Radar Online:
Tila Tequila was hospitalized for a week due to a brain aneurysm that nearly caused the petite star to die, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.
Tila, 30, was released from the hospital on Monday and according to a source close to her, the 4’11″ reality TV personality dropped from just 100 pounds to a frail 78 pounds.
“It was terrifying for Tila and death was knocking at her door,” the source exclusively told RadarOnline.com. “She was in two hospitals for the span of a week and is still not in perfect health, so she’s going to check into an outpatient program.”
According to the source, Tila suffered a brain aneurysm in the middle of the night, which caused her to think irrationally. Due to the pain, she took two bottles of unspecified heavy prescription drugs. “Tila threw up all over her bed after overdosing and felt like she was dying. She was screaming for help, and in desperation, broke her bedroom window and attempted to jump out,” the source said.
“Finally a friend came over after getting a strange text from her and found her convulsing on the bed. He called an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital.” Tila was hospitalized just in time to stabilize her and she was under intensive care all week. “It’s sad to think she may have some permanent brain damage,” the source said. “She still can’t fully speak properly.”
According to other sources (ahem, Tila‘s alleged roommate), Tila had been trying to kill herself “all week”:
Sources say Tila was in and out of consciousness in the house … and officials decided she needed psychiatric help, stat.
Tila was released … but the drama didn’t end there. Last night, Tila’s manager had a sneaking suspicion something was terribly wrong, so she called 911.
Cops went to Tila’s home to do a welfare check, but Tila refused to open the door. Tila then called 911 to find out why officers were at her home … and explained she couldn’t answer the door because she was in a wheelchair.
I guess the only thing that really, really surprises me about this situation is that Tila Tequila flat-out tried to kill herself and didn’t succeed, but yet Lindsay Lohan‘s walking around like the reanimated corpse whose head just won’t fall off. I mean, honestly! Who would have ever guessed that Lindsay Lohan would be doing “better” than Tila Tequila at any given point? Jesus. Guess that whole ‘Judaism’ thing didn’t work out very well, did it, Tila girl?
March 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Sarah
You know what, I love my job. I really, truly do. I have a lot of fun, I get paid to do something that I love, I work with a couple of marvelous ladies. It’s really a pretty sweet gig. My only complaint? By the time I got here, Tila Tequila‘s fifteen minutes were pretty much up. I am absolutely fascinated by this girl, but it’s so rare these days that she does something interesting enough to tell you guys about.
But I think I found something this time, because Tila is converting to Judaism. And not for attention! Maybe!
TMZ has learned Tequila has been taking classes at a NY temple to begin the conversion process … and even skipped Christmas this year to focus on change.
We spoke with the former MTV reality star about the situation and she explained, “As time passed, I started to become more and more fascinated with Kabbalah, the culture, and the way of life of the reform Judaism religion.”
And even though she starred in a sex tape, Tequila says … “I feel Orthodox is a little hardcore for me at this stage.”
Tila adds, “I just feel like the Jewish people have such a beautiful way about them, and I can’t wait to officially be Jewish! Shabbat Shalom.”
Could this be the start of a brand new Tila Tequila? Is this girl turning over a whole new leaf? Does she, dare I say, deserve some respect and admiration for this new stage in her life?
Nah, I don’t think so. Like, two hours ago she went and posted all this stuff on her Facebook about how her fans should go play in traffic and how big a slut she is.
Anyone who doesn’t have a sense of humor. PLEASEEE GOD DELETE YOURSELF FROM MY PAGE AND GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC! Not now, but when it’s busy in the daytime. Preferably traffic in NYC or the 405 in LA. Or maybe you should get that stick out of your ass. It’s making you STIFF and GRUMPY! Fart it out bro…. let some life blow back into that hole cuz ppl with no sense of humour seriously needs to 1: GET LAID or 2:GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC and if you’re shitty personality, or lack-there of, interferes with you getting laid, then I guess you should just play in traffic. Everyone who agree’s say I. LOL I got laid so I’m fine. Oh wait, that makes me a slut now doesn’t it? Gosh darnit…nothing I do is right. *kicks rocks* *Hugs a tree* lol
and if you HAVEN’T GOTTEN LAID or just CANNOT then I’ll be charitable just this once and help you. Who’s first? LMAOOOOO! and if you say “EWWWW” or “SLUT” please remove urself from my page. People like you are labeled “DEBBIE DOWNERS” womp! Womp! Womp!!! lol
Pshh I love it how guys always say “GIRL YOU AIN’T READY FOR THIS!” and then they bust a nut before I even take my panties off. MUAHAHHAHAA! C’mon boys…no need for that macho man talk. Just shut up and go downtown ok? thanks. LOL
Awww look at these 12 year olds calling me a slut. Don’t make Miss Tila come and WHOOP YO ASSSS! Go to bed child… go to bed. Where yo parents at? Oh yea, ur Mama’s being a slut with someone that is NOT ur Dad right now… but you wouldn’t understand anyway cuz you’re only 12. Don’t worry sweetie, one day you will and I’ll still be your friend. :) ?
Oh trust me… I aint NO SLUT hunny! I am VERY HARD TO GET, however once you DO GET ME… ohhhh yess I admit.. I will do some very naughty things to you. So in that case, then hell yea I’m a slut! Woohoo! Just not an easy one to get. LOL Well I’ll make an exception when u get me my pink diamond ring. Then I can be your slut all day and cook you dinner wearing my slut lingerie in 7 inch stilettos! I’m clumsy tho so I might “DROP” stuff constantly and will need to bend over to pick it up. OOPSIE! SOWWIE! lol PS-GO TO BED KIDS. MAMA TT IS BEING BAD RIGHT NOW SO CLOSE UR EYES OR GET TO SLEEP! lol
What a gift, right? Love her.
January 13, 2012 at 7:30 am by Emily
Here she is! To end your Sunday evening with a bang, I’ve compiled a lovely little gallery of Tila Tequila performing in a bar in New York last night. And no, I know it isn’t clear if she’s singing or stripping, but that’s not my fault. That’s just Tila Tequila for you!
October 2, 2011 at 5:00 pm by Emily
And really, can you blame her?
Tila did a little interview recently, and someone had the brilliant idea to ask her about Charlie Sheen. And this is what our girl had to say:
“I could definitely do a better job than [Bree Olson and Natalie Kenly] can,” Tila says. “He won’t need anyone else around. There’d only be one goddess. I could show Chucky a good time — but also help him out.”
She went on to talk about how Charlie needs help, so on and so forth, but I say save that talk for Dr. Drew (who, by the way, thinks that maybe Charlie needs to be put on a 5150, or an involuntary hold for not-so-stable people). All I care about is how Tila Tequila wants to be Charlie Sheen’s goddess. Can you even imagine how fantastic that would be? Charlie could save Tequila from Juggalo attacks and make classy sex tapes with her, and Tila could give Charlie that Shot at Love – real love – that he truly deserves.