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Tila Tequila

3Tila Tequila is having a baby girl, will raise her alone

tila tequila 3

Tila Tequila is an insane Nazi sympathizer who unfortunately hooked up with a redneck and got herself knocked up, much to her own delight. Now she’s revealed that she’s  having a baby girl, which she’ll most likely raise alone (??) so that she can instill her infinite wisdom into her child. It’s terrifying.

Surprise!!!!! So it looks like I’m having myself a precious little baby girl! Oh my GOD! For a long time I thought I wanted a baby boy, but that’s because most of my family members wanted me to have a boy. However, deep, deep down inside of my heart I knew that I wanted a baby girl! I wanted a little mini-me so that when she grows up I could do everything with her and be able to talk to her about anything! My very own little mini-me!!!! :)

Since I will be raising her alone I think it’s just perfect that I’m having a girl for my first child instead of a boy because this way it will probably be easier on me. I could tell her about Mommy’s entire life and why it’s so important to not make the same mistakes I made. I want my baby girl to grow up a very strong, and independent woman just like I am, and you know what? I know that she will! My daughter will grow up to be a leader and stand up for all of the people who cannot stand up for themselves. My daughter will be beautiful just like her mama, but at the same time I will raise her to be a humble and loving person who will respect herself and others. I know I’m going to be a fantastic Mother to my little Warrior Princess Baby Girl because she will see how much crap that her mommy has been through in life and that alone will give her so much character and strength just through me alone! She will definitely not be a pushover! She’s going to be a smart and feisty little one…. with freckles of course! hehehehe

tila tequila 2

Think Tila sounds insane yet? There’s more!

Each day that passes I get more and more excited about having my own little warrior princess come into this world and fill it with more joy! On top of that I’m sure she will also have Mommy’s freckles, strong personality, put up with nobody’s crap in life, have a huge loving heart and be compassionate to others, and ohhhhh the possibilities are endless! I already KNOW that my little girl will be exactly like her Mama but an even better version of me because I will make sure she knows NOT to make the same mistakes I did while growing up and I know she will listen. She will respect me because I have life experience to back up everything I tell her and I just cannot wait to shower her with my love every single day for the rest of her life! Plus, she’s going to be a SCORPIO BABY JUST LIKE HER MAMA!! OHHHH WATCH OUT WORLD!!! WE HAVE ANOTHER FIESTY LITTLE ONE COMING INTO THIS WORLD!! BE PREPARED !!! LOL

Ohhhhhh Baby Tila….. do you know that you’re already a future heart breaker to come??? Oh boy! Please don’t give Mommy too much headache ok??? For now… let’s just hope you stay Mommy’s little Princess for as long as possible!! I LOVE YOU SO, SO, SO, SO MUCH BABY GIRL!! SO MUCH THAT YOU ARE MAKING ME CRY RIGHT NOW!! YOU WILL BE MY BEST FRIEND, MY ANGEL, MY WORLD, MY EVERYTHING! I CANNOT WAIT TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AND SPOIL YOU WITH ALL THE LOVE THAT YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO BE MY SPOILED LITTLE PRINCESS!!! And from the looks of mommy’s humongus belly…. you are going to be a BIG, TALL, HEALTHY, BEAUTIFUL, spoiled princess!!! hehehe

I’m gonna need Jesus to take the wheel on this one, seriously. This poor, poor child. This intensely idiotic woman about to become a parent. It’s all too much to bear. And we won’t even get into the fact that she’s been trying her hand at softcore erotica on her site, either…

jesus

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July 3, 2014 at 2:00 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Tila Tequila

1Tila Tequila’s pregnancy saved her life

tila tequila

The world’s most awful Nazi sympathizer, Tila Tequila, announced her pregnancy online last week, and while she’s a hot fucking mess who has no business raising a child, she still insists this whole thing is a blessing and is the life-saving experience she needed.

“It has been quite a painful journey for me, and I never thought I was going to make it out alive. So to be able to do a total 180 and finally be blessed with my first child gets me so emotional that I can barely even handle it,” she continues. “The only difference is that now these tears I cry are of joy, and no longer of sadness.”

The first-time mom-to-be adds that she feels “finally healed” after “so many traumatic years” in the spotlight. “I truly feel that my baby has saved my life, and I will do whatever it takes to give my little baby the whole entire world!” she vows. “I know I’m going to cry so much when the baby is finally born later this year.”

“I never knew such a love like this could exist, but I guess motherhood can truly change some people,” she tells Us of her future son or daughter. “I know it has definitely changed me, and I’m already thinking about having more. I just want my baby to be proud of me and to know how much I love him or her. To love someone else unconditionally is one of the best feelings in the entire world, and I hope I will have plenty more pregnancies to come.”

Let’s be honest – the only thing she’s “changed” by so far is probably weird cravings for ice cream and pickles or whatever. Sorry, but I’m not buying this bullshit. She just found out she’s pregnant and suddenly she’s an entirely different person? If I didn’t already know what a fucking nutterball she is, I’d feel like I was the one taking crazy pills here. I’d almost rather Lindsay Lohan have a baby over her!

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April 24, 2014 at 9:00 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Tila Tequila

4Nazi Sympathizer Tila Tequila Is Pregnant

tila-tequila

Tila Tequila, who has tried her hand and relevancy so many times, yet always comes up short, is pregnant with her first child. Forgive me for not being thrilled, but the woman is a nazi sympathizer.

The woman posted the above photo on Facebook, adding,

Surprise!! I’m 10 weeks pregnant! I just couldn’t hold it in any longer as this brings me so much joy and happiness to know that there is a baby Tila on the way! May God bless my little bundle of joy on this Good Friday! Yayy! I’m gonna be a Mommy! I Love you sooooo much little baby!!

This will be her first kid (though she’s apparently been pregnant before, when she was a surrogate for her brother in 2009 — or so she announced) and the father’s name has not been released.

Come on, there’s a slight possibility that she’s not really pregnant, right? That this is just her latest attention-grabber?

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April 20, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Tila Tequila

10Tila Tequila Is a Nazi Sympathizer Now…

tila tequila

I don’t think Tila Tequila quite gets it. By “it”, of course, I mean anything in life, because now she’s apparently super into Nazis and thinks Hilter was totally misunderstood to the point where she’s calling herself Hitila. This is not a joke (unfortunately). She’s written entire blog entries on why she believes Hitler was so misunderstood and complaining that all the pictures ever taken of him were made to look scary and it’s so unfair. This entry, entitled “Why I Sympathize with Adolph Hitler Part 1: True Story Unveiled” (yes, seriously) contains many such photos and gems like this:

Here is a man who was not a coward, stood up for his country in a DESPERATE TIME OF NEED (unlike all of our cowardly leaders), and yet not only did he try his best to help his country and people get out of what was a time of depression, economic collapse, high unemployment, amongst many other things… he lost the war AND was painted out to be a monster after his death.  This is what breaks my heart.

Uh… WHAT?

She also posted a link to a Daily Mail article on her Facebook about the murder of James Marcus Howe, who apparently used to work on her show years back and was killed in his Los Angeles home in November. Her accompanying post to the link definitely preached a message of love and acceptance:

tila tequila facebook

Oh, and one more thing – Animal New York dug up some MORE insanity from Tila, in which she claims she was harassed by reptilian agents of the Illuminati. Because, uh… okay.

It was so strange because at that time I had no idea what was happening to me. All I knew was that it was all real. I looked up into the sky and a portal of light opened up! It was a circle and there were a bunch of Angels looking down on me, watching my battle. Then I flew up there to be with them and then it continues…. ’til this very day. Oh, except for the reptilians. After I slained 3 of them last year they have stopped bothering me. They DID however, ask me to join their team before the battle began. Of course I politely apologized before I turned down the deal and then BAM MOTHERFUCKER! The battle began!

What the fuck illegal shit is she huffing?

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December 10, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Tila Tequila

26Happy Birthday, Tila Tequila, You’re Crazy!

A photo of Tila Tequila

No, but really. You will not even believe how crazy Tila Tequila is these days. She’s so crazy that it’s not even funny (ok, probably it is a little funny).

You know those people who go on and on about the Illuminati all the time? Tila is now one of those people, and she’s been flooding her blog with all this new information about how she was Joan of Arc in a past life and how the moon is the Illluminati base and how when she overdosed earlier this year, she was actually dead for three days, and on the third day, she met Jesus.

She’s said way, way too many words about all of this for me to post it all, so you should probably just go read through all of her posts. In the meantime, let me show you some highlights:

I DECLARE A WAR BUT NO SOLDIERS, JUST ME, THE PEOPLE, AND ALL OF YOU SO CALLED ILLUMINATI, ELITIST COWARDS! I HAVE ALL YOUR SECRETS, I AM MUCH WISER THAN I WAS BACK THEN WHEN YOU F-CKED ME OVER SO BAD I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO JUST DIE FROM ALL THE PAIN YOU ORCHESTRATED AND INFLICTED UPON MY SOUL! MY TILA ARMY AND THE WORLD AT LARGE HAS YOU WAAAAAAAAY OUT NUMBERED!!

SHOULD I TELL THEM ABOUT THE SUPER HUMANS THAT EXIST AND ALL OF THOSE EXPERIMENTS YOU DO ON THEM TO USE THEIR POWERS FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT?  SHOULD I TELL THEM THAT IS WHY SO MANY “MISSING CHILDREN” POP UP EACH YEAR BECAUSE YOU SADISTIC F-CKS WERE THE ONES BEHIND IT??! AGAIN, THERE ARE STILL PLENTY OF US OUT HERE WITH SUPER POWERS AND I WILL GATHER THEM ALL TOGETHER AND YOU EVIL PRICKS ARE ALL GOING DOWN!!!

SO WHAT IF YOU ARE ALIEN HYBRID? THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU OWN US!

SHALL I TELL THE PEOPLE ABOUT THE ENTIRE CITY INSIDE THE HOLLOW EARTH??? SHALL I TELL THE PEOPLE THAT YOU CAME HERE AND LEFT YOUR OWN PLANET TO INFILTRATE OURS AND NOW SOME OF YOU STILL CURRENTLY RESIDE ON THE MOON!

That was from her letter to the Illuminati, but now let’s just kick back and let her talk directly to us (unless you are an Illuminati):

ALL OF A SUDDEN I REALIZED NOT ONLY ARE THE CIA READING ALL OF MY EMAILS, THEY ARE ALSO POSING AS MY FRIENDS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT INFORMATION!!! BUT UNFORTUNATELY FOR THEM I AM TOO SMART TO TELL ANYONE ANY INFORMATION!!!!!

I have learned that I am actually Eina from GAIA and also the incarnate of the TRUE Melchizedek! (yes the word I couldn’t even pronounce before while I was reading to you guys the true biblical scriptures of the origins of “man kind”) and now I found I am am actually indeed the incarnate of Melchizedek!  Whoa!

Aside from that, I was also indeed “JOAN OF ARC” in another one of my past lives!!!!!  It makes so much sense now!  I mean, Joan of Arc and myself share incredibly similar things!

Everything I talk about now, it is only and always in the 5th dimension frequency!  For instance I cannot relate to anything here on Earth anymore.  Everything I speak of is always in a very spiritual manner and My “HUMAN 3rd dimension body” is CONSTANTLY disappearing and reappearing all the time now!

I WILL be disappearing soon in the new Kingdom of God in the 5th Dimension back to my true light soul once again, and I shall be disappearing VERY SOON!  The only reason why I am still here, when indeed I have already given my certificate to Enter the new Kingdom of God, but I choose to stay here just for a little longer because it would hurt me deeply (just because I have been granted access to the 5th Dimension and given my “GALACTIC CARD” to travel to all 12 dimensions) doesn’t mean I can just leave you guys here and forget about you!  I told you this once before and I shall say it again, “I HAVE NEVER LEFT YOU NOR WILL I EVER LEAVE YOU!”

Yeah. So happy birthday, Tila! Hopefully someone close to you will get you a thorough psychiatric evaluation as a gift.

October 24, 2012 at 10:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Tila Tequila

5Tila Tequila: “I Feel Like I Have Been Reborn”

A photo of Tila Tequila

Last month, Tila Tequila was in a bad, bad place. She had a brain aneurysm, and in an attempt to deal with the pain, took two bottles of prescription drugs. She overdosed and nearly died. Then she went to rehab!

Here’s the story about how she turned over a brand new leaf:

On the aneurysm: “I can remember feeling like the bones were popping out the side of my head [because] the pain was so bad. I took some medications and tried to go for a nap, but when I woke up I was vomiting. I really thought I was going to die.”

On life after rehab: “Honestly, I feel like I have been reborn. I should have died and feel blessed to have another chance at life and I intend to grasp it. I got excellent treatment and I did a total detox of all substances and medications. This was really tough but I managed to do it.”

On counseling: Tequila also participated in group and personal counseling sessions, which she says “was really helpful because I got to wipe the slate clean and could talk about a lot of things that I was embarrassed about before.” She adds: “I also got to hear other people talking about their issues and was able to just listen and offer my support to them, too. It really was a great experience for me and I came away from it feeling like a new person.”

On helping others: “I love talking to people and hopefully I can help them if they have problems. This whole experience has made me think about going back to school and taking psychiatry classes as I feel like I could really help people who have issues.”

On the rest of her life: “I would like to get married and have a family and move forward in a positive way. I feel like God was not ready to take me, and I have to make the most of this opportunity that I have been given,” she says. “It’s odd because what I went through was totally horrible, but I’m glad that I did because it has given me a new lease on life.”

Ok, as far as I can tell, there can only be a handful of reasons for this remarkably coherent, sort of heartwarming interview from good ol’ Tila here. One: it’s total bullshit. After all, this is a girl whose last name is Tequila, it wouldn’t be a total shock if she was just spouting all this off while sipping a margarita. Another option is that this is just a temporary change, and in a couple weeks we’ll get our old Tila back. The final reason for Tila Tequila’s new behavior is that she’s actually changed. Wouldn’t that be crazy, if we lived in a world where a girl like Tila Tequila can go through this horrific event and come out a changed woman who’s a valuable member of society?

Which one do you think it is?

April 10, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Tila Tequila
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