Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Momsen

Of Course Taylor Momsen Makes Out With Female Pornstars

You know, I’ve never seen Taylor perform with her band, The Pretty Reckless. Then again, I’ve never seen Taylor Momsen do anything in public in person, so maybe that’s a little extra-why this video surprised me, but at the same time, didn’t surprise me at all. At the :23 mark, you have Taylor whipping her extra-long, extra-stringy, extra-blonde hair around like she’s riding the wrong side of a stripper pole (but really, is there ever really a wrong side?) and from there, the video only gets worse. No, really: it gets worse.

At the :32 mark, Taylor turns around to face the crowd and has a sloppy, lazy, smeared-lipstick smile on that positively screams “HEROIN!” That, and who cut her bangs? Girlfriend’s probably got a fair amount of money that she hasn’t frittered away on trying to look like an albino Marilyn Manson, and she’s cutting her own damn bangs? It’s obvious. I’ve been there. But I have an excuse. I’m a reclusive writer. I’m paranoid about people bringing scissors to my face. OK, that’s a lie. I’m actually too lazy to make a damn hair appointment, alright? That’s the truth.

At :49. The dude in the audience waving around the Devil Horns. Or is that the Shocker? I don’t know. Maybe it’s a lady with sausages for fingers maybe. Whatever.

After that it gets pretty boring and I may have dozed off until the : mark. That, or the heavy-duty pain meds are making me zone out. Please don’t make me watch it again; I just can’t do it. Anyway, somewhere around the three-minute mark, Taylor’s friend, Jenna Haze (AKA “female pornstar”) makes a stage appearance and does a standing lapdance for Taylor, which might have actually been kind of hot-ish if she weren’t wearing a big, baggy t-shirt. At one point, they kiss. Gross. Doesn’t Taylor know what kind of stuff was in that chick’s mouth?

In short? This video makes me want to die, and if Taylor’s intention was … well, that, when composing the same-name song, then it was a total f-cking win, alright? GIRL WHO F-CKS FOR SATAN, 1; SARAH, 0.

Taylor Momsen Cleans Up Nicely!

photo of taylor momsen in a dress at new york fashion week 2012 pics
Well isn’t this a nice change now. Taylor Momsen wearing something other than undergarments and bloody, ripped fishnet stockings with thigh-high boots that could be used as arsenal in their own rights. And doesn’t she just look lovely?

Taylor here was photographed at New York’s Fashion week, where she kept the company of Stacy Keibler, Bar Refaeli, and other prolific women not generally known for using electrical tape on their nippies, sacrificing goats onstage or wearing black leather all of the time and hooking up with questionably-aged music fans. Maybe girlfriend could take a few pointers from these classy ladies, huh?

But maybe it’s all of her darkness that’s giving her a bad rap. Maybe it really is inherent. Maybe it’s because she needs to get laid. Or get more sleep. I don’t know. In her most recent interview with FHM magazine and talked about how high-strung she is and how she works purely off of adrenaline. Maybe that’s all part of it somehow.

Taylor on probably having some kind of massive anxiety disorder:

“I’m completely neurotic, totally anxious and high-strung all the time. I sleep for about four hours a night, or day, really. I go to bed at 9 a.m., sleep for four hours, then get up and start the day again. … To be honest, I don’t know what to do when I’m not working. I lose my mind if I’m not constantly doing something.”

And … that’s probably how Lindsay Lohan got her start on the road that dumped her where she is now, guys. Hm. Maybe it’s better if she sticks with people like Keibler and Refaeli. They’re probably way better influences on her than she knows. And they date way, way hotter dudes, too.

No, Taylor Momsen Hasn’t Changed a Bit

photo of taylor momsen pictures photos pics fhm magazine 2012 photo
Oh Taylor Momsen. If there’s one thing about you that’s always constant, it’s you. Just, you know. You. The way you are. The things you say, the clothes you wear, the very image you project. Though I know I should be rolling my eyes hard, I’m kind of thanking my lucky stars, because you know that saying, “Things could always be worse”? I think it was written about you. I do. Or at least Courtney Love (I KNOW; you must be so stoked that I made that correlation there. You’re welcome), and then applied to young women like you who teeter just on the edge of impropriety and desperation. Yes, I guess that’s the word: “desperation.” It sums you up pretty well, girl.

Here’s Taylor’s latest interview with FHM magazine, where, frankly, nothing much has changed since the last time we ran an in-depth interview with Taylor Momsen (which was back in the summer of ’11).

Taylor Momsen on wanting to look like a stripper:
“I love stripper shoes and I always try to find the tallest ones. I’m always surprised no one talks about my shoes. I’m, like, on stage in 15-inch heels but people talk more about my eye make-up, which has stayed the same forever.”

On her love of being tall:
“I’m 5ft 8in. So I’m really tall. I got into heels when I was little, though. My mom’s really short so she always wears really tall heels and I used to steal them and now it’s just a part of my everyday life.”

On men:
“I don’t like guys who overdress. And I don’t like guys who try too hard. My biggest thing is be yourself. Be yourself and if people don’t like you, then they can suck a d**k. I don’t like people who pretend to be something to fit into a certain crowd or guys who pay more attention to how they look than you do – that’s not a good thing.”

On selling out to the UK:
“Most of my favorite bands are from England. You guys have the best bands. The Beatles, Zeppelin, The Who, you have frickin’ all of them! America loses there.”

On selling out to the UK. Again:
“Every now and again I want to go to the beach and be in the sun, but that’s a very rare feeling, so I could live in London, definitely. I like the rain. I like the gloom, and everyone’s got such an attitude, be it a good or a bad one.”

So, there’s a little more insight on who Taylor Momsen really is. I guess the only question I have for girlfriend would be “Do you still f-ck for Satan?” because that’s definitely something we need to know, now that you’re eighteen and all.