You asked for it, so we’re going to deliver: the first official (kind of second, though, I guess) ‘Your Daily Gosling’ post. I mean, it might not actually be daily, so the title might be a little misleading, but come on. I know we love Ryan Gosling, but not enough to facilitate an entire post, every single day, dedicated to running photos of Ryan doing something mildly yawn-inducing, like sauntering around Paris with his girlyfriend who probably can’t string two words of French together aside from “bathroom, please?”
[Sidebar - Ahem, I'm
almost sort of fluent in conversational French, Ryan, did you know that?]
Anyway. So today’s Daily Gosling is brought to you by amazingly hot dudes who take their mothers and their stupid pillow-lipped girlfriends to the movies at the same time. Isn’t that sweet? He probably bought their tickets, too, with his own money. Know what, though? I wonder if the two main ladies in his life can stand one another. I mean, I know if I were Ryan Gosling’s mom, I’d be all like, “Ryan, sweetie, how about dating a nice, girl-next-door type that isn’t latching onto you because you’re a big, big famous movie star that’s had a lot of exposure over the last year and won’t dump you should someone like George Clooney or Brad Pitt came along because they’re way more famous than you are at this moment and who actually has done decent movies, not things like Ghost Rider and Urban Legends: Final Cut.”
Why do I feel this way? Well, it probably has a little to do with the fact that I’m a bitter harpie that thinks Ryan Gosling should only date girls who appear to be average and pretty and down-to-earth, and not sultry sex-kittens who aren’t afraid to show their tits to the world because they know that practically everyone wants to see anyway.
You know, come to think of it, I’ll bet Ryan Gosling’s mom can’t stand her just on that premise alone. Wasn’t Eva Mendes the one who said, “It’s fun to be a woman. It’s fun to flirt and wear makeup and have boobs.” Deep, right? Isn’t that totally the kind of woman you’d want your only son settling down with and being photographed with and sharing your long-term movie dates with?
Lastly, if I was Ryan Gosling’s mom, it’d be really weird, because I think it’s pretty much frowned upon to have sexually-charged feelings about your son, but hey. I suppose I’ve heard weirder things today. Like that thing Eva said one time about her career:
“I know I walk a fine line between being a respected actor and being what they call a sex symbol. It’s a hard one to walk if you want to be known as a real, credible actor. But I’ve never felt objectified. Nothing you see me do is an accident. I might act like it’s an accident, but the opposite is true. I’m incredibly calculated when it comes to my career.”
So, um. How about we talk about that Ghost Rider thing one more time, huh, girl?