I know that’s, like, such old news, but after seeing these photos you might question it. Lucky for you I’m here to correct your ass: the girl in the photos is Melissa Molinaro, a Kim Kardashian impersonator. D’you hear me? A Kim. Kardashian. Impersonator. As in she pretends to be Kim Kardashian and sometimes? She gets paid for it. Like this Old Navy shoot, where a woman (Molinaro) does a knock-off of Kim Kardashian at a slumber party:

Crazy, right? Here’s another photo of girlfriend just doing her thing, trying hard to NOT look like Kim Kardashian:

This nutty bitch even has the same style INITIALS as KK, just a few letters off.

In short? I don’t know who’s sadder – KK MM or Reggie Bush. I mean, girl’s gotta make a living somehow, and if posing as a Kardashian pays the bills, whatever. But dating the very same Kardashian’s ex-boyfriend? That’s … a little weird. And very sad for the ex-boyfriend in question.

Here’s a side-by-side comparison if you aren’t yet convinced just how weird all of this really is:

Two images are courtesy of MediaTakeout

Yeah, this’d be Reggie Bush, Kim Kardashian’s ex, and Amber Rose, Kanye’s ex (according to sources as Us Weekly, the rapper and the, uh, “model” have taken a break).

The two were photographed at a 4th of July party somewhere in the Hamptons this past weekend, and supposedly, the two are getting it on. I kind of don’t care either way, but hey. The picture’s pretty funny, and funny’s always open for interpretation, right?

I suppose someone’s going to tell me next that Santa Clause beat the shit out of the Easter Bunny and then mugged him and I’m going to just have to believe it, ’cause there’s nothing more unfathomable than Reggie putting his Saint-ly strings onto another woman’s harp when he had Kardashian to begin with.

According to RadarOnline, Bush was, indeed, cheating on Kim with some waitress that goes by the name of January Gessert on and around the time that the two broke up:

Gessert reportedly spent the night at Reggie’s house on March 16th, after the two met at Sunset Strip bar-restaurant Red Rock. She was spotted leaving Reggie’s house the next morning at 7am.
Reggie has reportedly set up an elaborate system to hide his cheating from Kim – including the use of multiple cell phones, but the camera never lies, and Kim is bound to be left devastated and in tears following the release of these photos.

Come on, man, what the hell are you thinking?  If we’re judging by the cover of the book alone, I hardly think you’ll ever do better than the gorgeous Kim Kardashian.  Yeah, I mean, she doesn’t appear to be the sharpest tool in the shed and she seems kinda high-maintenance, but for fuck’s sake, you’re a football star, what do you care about what’s on the inside?

Criminy.

God, if a gorgeous, spoiled heiress and a Superbowl-winning football star can’t make it nowadays, who can, I ask you.  Who?!

It’s like the Polanski petition all over again with all the celebrities backing Tiger Woods during his “time of need”. You’d think that most people would be afraid to comment on either story publicly (especially if they sympathize with the person whose character is in question), but no! There’s always someone out there hungry enough to provide sound bytes that might make the paper.

Us Weekly put together this list of celebrities who have publicly come to Tiger’s defense:

Donald Trump: “He’s had a very interesting and very traumatic couple of weeks…But I know Tiger and he’s a wonderful guy. Tiger is going to be hotter than ever. Mark my words.”

Kim Kardashian: “Obviously, he made a statement where he said there were issues and he hasn’t been the best man for his family, so obviously something’s going on there…I think it’s proven to be really stressful on them. So you just kind of feel bad for his wife and for him.”

Khloe Kardashian: Lamar [Odom] just said he thinks it’s sad. He was like, “We’re so attacked, and nothing’s going on.” He just feels that people should just stay out of it. They’re obviously going through something a lot more serious than it’s just like to make a headline. People were in the hospital–they need a minute to get themselves together, regardless of what it is.”

NFL player Terrell Owens:  “I do think Tiger has done a great job of trying to apologize and being contrite, and so I think that’s the first and foremost thing you can do is be remorseful about it. I wish him well and hope he and his family rebounds.”

Dennis Rodman: “I know Tiger. He is a very good guy. He has beautiful kids and a beautiful wife and what’s going on right now he just needs to just talk and say, you know, whatever, I’m here man. He didn’t do anything wrong, he became famous at a young age. Once your life is under a microscope everyone wants to look at you and just nitpick everything you do so bad.”

NFL star Reggie Bush: “For those of you who think Tiger ‘won’t be the same’ after this, you guys are crazy! He’s maybe the single greatest athlete of our time!…I’m specifically speaking on Sports not talking about his personal life! This will only drive him to be greater! Golfer’s better watch out!!”

Gilles Marini: “Time heals…Go on vacation far away from all the frenzy. I don’t know what really happened. I’m curious about the golf club, more than anything else. The sexual life and what happened between them is not our problem and there’s a war going on that is more important.”

Diddy: “Ye without sin cast the 1st stone!!!! Put down your rocks sinners!!!!! Tiger keep your head up! God bless your fam Black man!”

Two Kardashians, Donald Trump, Reggie Bush and Dennis Rodman? What’d they do to get these quotes? Go stand in front of some Famous Moron Convention with a microphone? None of his supporters are even remotely surprising.

For your analysis, here is a picture of Kim Kardashian on Sunday night at PURE nightclub.  They look happy, right?  Then, why on Monday did they announce their split?

The pair, who recently returned from a charity trip to Africa with Kardashian’s sister Khloe, just last May talked about “heading” toward marriage, but sources tell PEOPLE their relationship suffered from the time they spent apart – with yet another separation looming with the upcoming NFL season. 

“They never get to see each other, ever,” the source says. “It’s been a long time coming. They still love each other and are part of their lives, but Reggie spends six months out of the year in New Orleans, so it’s tough.” 

I don’t know.  This looks like they had a, “Baby, I’ve got somethin’ to tell you” conversation after the nightclub appearance.  Kim’s rep confirmed the split, so I think either a)  she got dumped or b)  he admitted to cheating on her.

Pictures in the gallery of the couple at several events over the past couple weeks, displaying some interesting body language.

On the tail of things not workingout too well for Christina Ricci, comes news that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are newly engaged. 

Kim was talking earlier this month about picking out her own ring.  “It’s just easier.  Isn’t it easy if someone’s like, ‘This is exactly what I want.’ It’ll make your life so easy.”  Now, some people are dead-set against knowing what their engagement ring looks like ahead of time, but my theory is this:  Kim’s going to have this ring on her hand for the next three to five years of her life.  Shouldn’t she have one that she really likes?

Now that Kim has officially hooked her boyfriend of the past two years, it’s time for her to get her butt moving and start shopping for a size two wedding dress.  Heh.