Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Pirates Of The Caribbean

Turns Out People Still Care About Jack Sparrow

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides opened this past Friday, and now it’s official: it’s not just Michael Bolton, everybody in the whole world is still interested by those wacky pirates and their crazy adventures. Entertainment Weekly has all the box office info:

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the fourth movie in Disney’s hugely successful franchise, opened to $35 million on Friday according to early estimates. If the estimate holds, it will just barely beat Fast Five‘s $34.4 million gross to score the year’s biggest opening day. Compared to prior Pirates films, there’s a definite downward trend, at least domestically. The second film, Dead Man’s Chest, plundered $55.8 million its first day, while the third movie, At World’s End, took in $42.9 million. Still, On Stranger Tides‘ smaller debut is no cause for mutiny, as the 3-D adventure film is headed for an opening weekend of around $88 million, which would be the year’s best so far. And Johnny Depp and company are doing gangbusters overseas, where the movie has already earned $92.1 million in three days.

Did you catch that it beat out the fifth Fast and the Furious movie?  That is a Huge Deal.

If you don’t care about box office earnings and numbers and so on and so forth, let me talk straight with you:  I went to see this movie last night.  I didn’t love it.  I thought the mermaids were really well done, and it’s always nice to look at Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz, but, just like I did with the third Pirates movie, I fell asleep in the middle.  So I’m sorry that I can’t give you a really accurate review, but, um, I did have a really good nap, so there’s that silver lining.

Did you guys see it?  What are your thoughts?  Should I do some meth and try again or what?

So Many People I Love Were At The Pirates of the Caribbean Premiere Last Night!

A photo of Steven Tyler and Mickey Mouse

Maybe it was an exaggeration to say “so many people I love” were there, but there was a good handful.  There was the eternally beautiful Johnny Depp, the always sexy Eliza Dushku, the constantly hilarious Martin Short, and the all around magical Mickey Mouse!  There were some other people there too, like Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, and Teri Hatcher and whatever she did to her face.  All of those people of varying wondrousness are just detracting from the main story though: why did they insist on making another movie about these damn pirates?

The New Pirates of the Caribbean Trailer is Here

And though I’m pretty excited, I’m also kind of nervous at the moment because my garbage collectors literally just arrived, on this windy, windy day, and they’e gonna be so ticked when they see all of the packing peanuts in my trash receptacle. WINDY.

Anyway, the trailer for the long-awaited fourth installation of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise is here, and a lot of people have mixed reviews about it. Me, I think Johnny Depp (and Geoffrey Rush, of course) are totally the faces of the Pirates movies, but there are a shit ton of fans out there who refuse to see the movie a) because the Keira Knightley/Orlando Bloom love story won’t be addressed, or b) they can’t stand to listen to Penelope Cruz’s God-awful accent for two-and-a-half-plus hours (you know these movies are always well over 150 minutes).

I’m excited about it anyway. I love the movies, I’ve loved the ride in Disney World since I first went on it over seventeen years ago, and I think Penelope Cruz is actually rather pleasing (unlike the really awful looks I’m getting from my trashmen as I sit here on the front porch, trying to make myself smaller and smaller).

What about you guys, are you over the Pirates saga, or will you be queueing up on May 20th when it’s finally released?

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