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One Direction

1One Direction’s Louis Tomlinson is a Professional Footballer

louis tomlinson

No, the above photo wasn’t taken in PE class or a Halloween party – One Direction singer Louis Tomlinson is actually playing football for a professional team. In particular, he made his debut for the Doncaster Rovers on Wednesday night in front of at least 5,000 1D fans… and some actual sports fans, one would assume. One Directioner even flew all the way from Michigan to see this bullshit, LOL.

Louis basically signed a non-contract contract with the Rovers last year as part of his charity work with Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice. If you don’t get it, don’t worry – no one does. What matters is that he got put in as a substitute at the 65th minute in the South Yorkshire derby fixture against Rotherham. He got to kick the ball around a little and even fell on his ass at one point and the game ended in a 0-0 draw. The end.

He was pretty stoked about it all, as evidenced by the tweets he posted after the game:


The funny thing is, having been to a football game in my time and being quite familiar with the fans who turn up, I guarantee you they were none too pleased with a bunch of screaming One Direction fans infiltrating their space. God, I’d have loved to have seen that.

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February 27, 2014 at 8:30 am by Jennifer

5Here’s Harry Styles’ Bare Ass, Peeing in the Bushes

harry styles ass

If you’ve ever wanted to see the junk in Harry Styles‘ trunk, here’s your chance. Apparently a few years back, Harry went out on the piss, as the English say, and needed to relieve himself. Instead of using a proper toilet or going somewhere discrete, Harry just shoved his pants ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE ANKLE (why? Is this seriously something men do?) and went for it.

Twitter user @JagChaggarTutis posted the photo and even tagged Harry in it, asking if the One Direction member (lol) had any recollection of the night in question, and while Harry didn’t respond directly, he did soon after tweet the following:


Of course, that then got Sir Mix-a-Lot involved and he was incredulous that the photo is even Harry (and it doesn’t look anything like him, to be fair) and then Mix promised a fan that he was trying to “limit the spreading”, which… let’s all just take it down a few notches.


In any case, now you’ve seen Harry Styles’ ass. I bet your life feels more complete now.

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January 28, 2014 at 4:30 pm by Jennifer

12One Direction’s Liam Payne Loves ‘Duck Dynasty’, Swears He’s Not Homophobic

duck dynasty liam payne

Duck Dynasty certainly hasn’t suffered in the ratings, as America’s rednecks have come together to watch the show in record numbers since the whole “anal sex is nasty” debacle involving Phil Robertson. In case you forgot, he started spewing racist and anti-gay bullshit, A&E suspended him, the whole family threatened to quit and, scared of losing out on a massive amount of revenue, A&E backed down and let the show go on as normal, which seems to have worked out well for everyone… and by everyone I mean big corporations and bigots. USA, USA!

In any case, randomly, One Direction‘s Liam Payne was stoked to hear that the show would stay on air and sent the Duck Dynasty guys a wonderful tweet of support about what a big fan he is and how much “prosperity” he wishes for the family, whose ideals are apparently totally in line with his own:


Unsurprisingly, some people weren’t so happy about Liam supporting an openly homophobic and racist family who is making tons of money off their ignorance, so they called him out for it. Now LIAM isn’t happy that people are getting on his case and he’s “clarified” his initial comments (read from the bottom up):

liam 2

liam

Can we just not with this? I doubt Liam is homophobic given the fact that probably half his band is gay. LOL, I kid (OR DO I?!). Clearly he’s backtracking here since he went on about appreciating their “values” as a family – he’s not that fucking stupid. A family is in the news for being bigots of the highest degree and you tweet them praising their “values”, but you don’t support those values? Give me a break. Nice try, Liam. Maybe stick to singing your cutesy songs.

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January 20, 2014 at 8:30 am by Jennifer

0One Direction’s Niall Horan Is Doing Just Fine After Major Knee Surgery

niall horan

NOOOO, NIALLLL!!! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO YOU BABY BOY?!?!?!! OMG I LUV U AND U WIL BE OKAY I WILL BE UR NURSE!!!! ~ me as a One Direction stan

Okay, so Niall Horan from One Direction apparently had a serious problem with his knee (who knew?) and had to get major surgery. We don’t know what in particular the operation was for, but we do know that Niall made it out a-okay and is recovering well, as he assured fans on Twitter.


Well, that’s a relief. It seems like Niall was hitting the pain meds from the looks of the typing, but I’m sure millions of adolescent girls and gay boys will be very happy he’s doing well. Hurrah, Niall!

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January 18, 2014 at 1:30 pm by Jennifer

8Mark Wahlberg on Harry Styles: ‘I want to punch that little prick’

mark wahlberg

Mark Wahlberg is your standard, run-of-the-mill tough guy (or so he thinks), so he often says shit that he probably thinks sounds really impressive but actually just makes him look sorta corny and like a bit of an asshole. Latest case in point: during an interview on Conan this week, Mark revealed that his daughter is a big fan of One Direction – and band member Harry Styles, in particular.

Well, Mark doesn’t like that his daughters – one of which who is only 4 years old, keep in mind – likes anyone other than her own father, so he wants to beat the shit out of Harry Styles, who is a “prick” by virtue of his daughter being a fan. I know he wasn’t being serious (one would assume) and that he probably thought he was being “funny” and making a “joke”, but eh… no thanks, bro.

“Now the girls have turned to One Direction, they don’t care about Dad anymore. My 4-year-old’s going, ‘Daddy, I like Harry.’ And I’m like, ‘Well, I’m gonna punch Harry in the nose when I see him.’ I get jealous. If I see that little prick he’s gonna get it.”

Mmkay.

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January 10, 2014 at 8:30 am by Jennifer

7Who’s the Most Charitable Celebrity?

taylor swift

Plenty of celebrities are generous when it comes to money donated to charity – some more than others, of course – but just who gave the most in 2013? The answer might surprise you, actually. DoSomething.org compiled a list of the top givers this year (via The Hollywood Reporter), and who should top the list but Taylor Swift? Right behind her is One Direction, as well. Huh, who’da thunk it?

Here’s the full list of celeb givers. It’s not clear just how much each of them gave, but Taylor donated $100,000 JUST to the Nashville Symphony Orchestra, so it’s fair to say she probably gave close to a million, if not more, given the amount of campaigns she’s been involved in. Of course, celebrities SHOULD give back. They have more money than they know what to do with, so why not give to those less fortunate?

1. Taylor Swift
2. One Direction
3. Beyoncé
4. Paul Walker
5. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
6. Sandra Bullock
7. Kerry Washington
8. Ian Somerhalder
9. Ryan Seacrest
10. Carrie Underwood
11. Jennifer Lawrence
12. Alicia Keys
13. Bryan Cranston & Aaron Paul
14. Miley Cyrus
15. Demi Lovato
16. Blake Shelton
17. Mindy Kaling
18. Kevin Durant
19. Kendrick Lamar
20. Justin Bieber

Are you surprised by anyone on this list? I sorta am by Kendrick Lamar, who I love but admittedly don’t know much about other than his music. Good to see Macklemore doing his thing on that list, as well. Oh, and LOL to Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul being one entry.

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December 27, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
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