Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Miley Cyrus

Missed the VMAs? Let me catch you up!

Did you miss last night’s MTV Video Music Awards? You’re not alone. I generally purposely try to miss the broadcast, but for whatever reason, I actually tuned in this year – via torrent, of course, which means I got to skip over the seemingly endless ad breaks. Here are the 10 moments that people are talking about/will make you seem totally “on it” around the water cooler at work.

Beyoncé. Everything Beyoncé.

Beyonce Jay-Z Bluey Ivy VMAs

Beyoncé was given the Video Vanguard Award after giving an incredible performance of a medley of pretty much every single song on the self-titled album. I know I get a bit Beyoncé-d out sometimes, but you can’t deny she’s an incredibly accomplished performer and that award was extremely well-deserved. Jay-Z bringing little Blue Ivy up on stage to hand her the statue at the end was the extra cherry on top. SO CUTE.

Blue Ivy VMAs

Miley Cyrus got a homeless man to accept her award.

miley cyrus homeless man VMAs

Miley Cyrus won Video of the Year, but instead of accepting the award herself, she sent a homeless man from the area on stage to represent the homeless community in Los Angeles and bring awareness to the cause. Miley was in tears the whole time he was speaking, but I can’t tell if this was genuine or some weird hacky PR move. I’m feeling optimistic today, so I’ll go with the former.

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Miley Cyrus isn’t welcome in Santo Domingo

miley cyrus

Miley Cyrus was planning on taking her Bangerz tour over to the Dominican Republic, but it turns out the city of Santo Domingo doesn’t want her there and have banned the show from happening.

From The Buenos Aires Herald:

Through a letter delivered to the companies in charge of the event, the local government argued Cyrus performances “go against the country’s moral and customs.”

According to the commission, the singer also “performs with unsuitable costumes,” and uses “language and images which encourage sex and violence.”

In addition, they accused Cyrus of “apology for crime, violence and denigrating acts before civilized culture, incitement for sex, lesbian sex, and use of inappropriate objects in public.”

The show was supposed to take place at Quisqueya Stadium, in the country’s capital of Santo Domingo.

Well, damn. I guess some people aren’t ready for the twerk.

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Miley Cyrus adopted a piglet called Bubba Sue

miley cyrus bubba sue piglet

Can someone please stop Miley Cyrus from adopting/buying/whatever-she’s-doing-to-get-them new animals? Seriously, this is getting a little ridiculous. She’s now moved on from getting dog after dog and is the proud owner of a new piglet named Bubba Sue. Yeah, this is going to end well. Poor animal.

Miley began posting selfies with Bubba Sue over the weekend, and I have to admit, the pig is ADORABLE. Of course, she won’t keep it for too long – it’ll either end up dead like several of her dogs mysteriously have done or she’ll abandon it and give it away when it gets bigger and is no longer cute enough to post on Instagram. It’s messed up and completely ridiculous. As if a 20-year-old on a world tour who is obsessed with partying and shit is going to properly take care of an animal that has no business being kept as a pet on buses and planes? Money really can buy you anything, it seems. I just hope Bubba Sue makes it out alive.

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Miley Cyrus squats in the woods for a shit

miley cyrus

Well, I can’t particularly say I’m surprised that Miley Cyrus would post a photo of herself, pants down and squatting to take a shit in a pile of leaves, on her Instagram page. Do we really expect more from Miley? Are we actually shocked? Not particularly. There are certain things we just don’t need – or want – to see, but Miley seems obsessed with showing us anyway.

I’m not sure what purpose posting a photo of yourself copping a squat actually serves, but then I’d have to ask that about pretty much everything she posts. If this is for shock value, or to prove just how much she ~don’t curr~ then, well, it’s still not okay. Really, really not interested in seeing Miley Cyrus use the toilet, thanks.

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Miley Cyrus got a new tattoo and it’s pretty ironic

miley cyrus love your brain tattoo

Miley Cyrus seems pretty hell-bent on losing her damn mind on a daily basis, and her latest move is a rather hilarious one. Miley is so badass that she just loves tattoos, and her new one says something pretty ironic, considering its owner: “LOVE YER BRAIN”. Uhh…

There are so many treasure troves to delve into here. First of all, there’s the spelling of “your” as “yer” – very country bumpkin, nice tip of the hat to her redneck background, etc. Then there’s the fact that Miley Cyrus – a woman who is very much into causing all the synapses in her brain (as well as in the brains of anyone watching her) rapidly misfire – has got a tattoo calling for deeper thought and homage to the wonderful organ that is the human brain. Something just doesn’t match up there.

Also, not sure what’s going on with the hair lately. I know it’s an awkward time when you’re growing out a short ‘do, but this is like, Miley goes kawaii but without the cuteness (so not kawaii at all).

Anyhoo, Miley got this done at Bang Bang in NYC, where all the celebs go.

From US Weekly:

“Miley reached out to me as a spur of the moment invitation,” Bang Bang, who has inked Rihanna, Justin Bieber, and Katy Perry, tells Us Weekly. “I went over to an apartment of a friend of hers. They were having a fun little pool party with a small group and looked like they were having a great time.”

“She wanted to get ‘Love Yer Brain’ tattooed on her arm,” the artist continued. “It’s her favorite Flaming Lips song and she liked the message.” Cyrus has been collaborating with the Flaming Lips in recent weeks, hanging out with frontman Wayne Coyne and recording a music video with the band called “Blonde SuperFreak Steals the Magic Brain.”

Ohhh, okay, it’s a flaming lips song. I get it… sorta. I really don’t get the bizarro relationship between Miley and Wayne Coyne, though. It’s weird and makes me sorta uncomfortable.

As for “Bang Bang” himself, way to lose your dignity as a tattoo artist (and a human being?), bro. Telling US Weekly that Miley was having a “little pool party” and “looked like they were having a great time”? But wait – there’s more!

“We spent a few hours designing it together, making sure the font and everything looked good,” he said. “The tattoo itself went by very quickly. When we finished she was like, ‘Oh man, I want to get something else now!’”

Cyrus, 21, went on to do just that. “She decided she wanted to get a little moon,” Bang Bang told Us. “When she said that, I told her I’d been thinking about getting a moon myself for a while now, so we got them together. I tattooed her first, it went quick and then I gave her the tattoo gun and taught her how to use it.”

“I actually pranked her,” he tells Us Weekly exclusively. “When she went to first put the tattoo needle to my skin I screamed like it really hurt and she jumped up shaking! She took a walk around and settled down. We laughed about it after she tattooed the moon on my finger. She actually did a really good job.”

This is hardly the last set of tattoos that Cyrus has planned for her oft-exposed body. “We’re talking about doing some more tattoos together later,” Bang Bang added. “We had a nice little visit, she was a great client.”

This guy sounds like a real prize piece – which is to say nothing of Miley, of course. A grown man fangirling out over a 20-year-old girl just seems slightly wrong. Do none of these people have anything better to do with their time? I mean, tattoos are fine – I have a couple small ones myself – but the things Miley is permanently putting on her body will probably be rather regrettable if she ever comes out of the drug-fuelled haze that made her get them in the first place.

miley cyrus tattoo

miley cyrus gives tattoo

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Miley Cyrus is doing it all wrong, I’m afraid…

miley cyrus

Miley Cyrus was hanging around in NYC between dates on her Bangerz tour (which seems like it’s been going on for ages, I might add), and I’m not quite sure what was happening with anything she was doing. First of all, she carried her latest dog around with her a lot – a dog which is way too big to be carried and definitely not giving off the “I’m a rich socialite with a very tiny dog” vibe I think she must have been going for. Second of all, the clothes? The hair? I’m just so confused.

Enjoy several pictures taken over the course of several days of Miley… just being Miley, I suppose. Clue me in if you have any idea what the hell is happening in any of them.

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