Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

PETA Gets It Wrong Again

A photo of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

I love animals. Like, I really, really love animals. But I absolutely hate PETA, and it’s because of shit like this. Of course, there are other reasons why I hate PETA, like, for instance, the fact that they euthanize over 99% of the animals in their shelters, but this business just really gets under my skin. Spaying and neutering is important, obviously, but do we really need The Situation, shirtless and surrounded by innocent kitties, to make that point? Is anyone actually going to see this poster and think anything but “ew, gross” or “hell yeah, man, p-ssy is awesome”? Because I seriously doubt it.

Basically, all this poster does is make me hate PETA more than I already do, and also it makes me wonder if The Situation switched to steroids after he got out of rehab. He looks bigger, right? Like in the shoulders and upper arms, he looks unnaturally large. Thoughts?

The Situation Is Not So Sober

A photo of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

The Situation has been out of rehab since April. He was there for less than two weeks, and even when he was in rehab, we were hearing about how he was planning on keeping up his club appearances, which, you know, sounded like a disaster.

It looks like that was about right, because that lovable Situation is reportedly back off the wagon:

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is in a tough situation.

The Jersey Shore star, 30, who entered rehab for substance abuse in March, “isn’t sober anymore,” a source tells Us Weekly in the new issue, on stands Friday.

Indeed, at West Hollywood’s London hotel September 26, a witness saw him “downing so many cocktails, he could barely stand.” (His rep responds, “He has not been drinking.”)

In his first interview after completing an in-patient treatment program, Sorrentino told MTV News, “Ever since I’ve been out, I’m not gonna lie . . . it’s not easy.”

The insider adds to Us that the Sitch is stressed the MTV series is ending: “Mike’s freaking out about what he’s going to do after the show.”

Sadly, I think we can all envision Mike going completely out of control when his fame starts to fade, right? And I’m not saying that we should all be forced to keep an eye on him, because that’s too much to ask, it really is, but could we all take shifts or something?

Don’t Worry, The Situation Is Coming Back to Jersey Shore

A photo of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

I know we were all worried that The Situation wouldn’t return to Jersey Shore after he got out of rehab. There were rumors that MTV was going to find a new cast member to take his place, and even more rumors that he had no intentions of giving up his partying, club-going lifestyle. So what’s going to happen? Is The Situation going to show a more mature side of himself that we’ve never seen before and retire for sobriety’s sake, or is he going to go back down to the Jersey Shore this summer?

I know I kind of gave it away in the headline, but here’s the story from TMZ anyway:

He can’t drink … but MTV’s still taking another fat chance on The Situation — casting him on Season 6 of “Jersey Shore” after his rehab stint for substance abuse — and somehow, Abercrombie & Fitch is involved.

Here’s how it all comes together: Situation just filed new legal docs in his ongoing battle with the clothing company over GTL-themed apparel. In the docs, Situation begs the judge in the case to let him skip an impending court date … scheduled for June 14th.

The significance of that date — Sitch says MTV has tapped him to return for another season of “Jersey Shore,” which tapes from May 22nd to July 7th.

Sitch says he’s required to be present at the “Jersey Shore” house 24/7 — so he’d be violating his MTV contract by showing up in court.

Side note: Sitch also says he wants in excess of $10 million from A&F for trademark infringement. A judge has yet to make a decision on the court date issue.

Bottom line — Situation’s coming back … more sober than ever! Woo.

Well, this doesn’t bode well, does it? I mean, I know he has those two whole weeks of rehab under his belt, but does he really think this is a good idea? Does he think he can go back into that environment and not drink, or does he just not care?