38Better Off Dead

Actor Rupert Everett thinks Michael Jackson’s death is one of the best things that could have happened to the the freakish King of Pop.  I’m not even disrespecting the dead — these are Everett’s words:

I think it was fortuitous that he died,” he said.

“He was supposed to be doing 50 concerts in London. It wouldn’t have mattered how good or bad he was.  He wouldn’t have managed to do all of them and the press would have destroyed him.”

Rupert also claimed that it was the child molestation accusations that caused Michael’s early demise.

“He was a freak. He looked like a character from Shrek. He was a black to white minstrel,” Everett told the Daily Mirror.

“He was crucified by that court case when he was accused of child molestation – that killed him.  He personified the pain and anxiety of a black man in a slave country. We all watched as he changed from black to white. He was living performance art.”

And though he felt that Jackson was racially confused — “We’re living in very strange times. We have Michael Jackson, a black man who has gone white, and we have President Barack Obama, who is a half white man gone black. It’s absolutely fascinating to watch” — he would have bedded the pop star in a minute.  ”I would have leapt at the chance of sleeping with Michael Jackson when I was 14.”

Well, what an asshole.  I’m sure Michael’s family doesn’t think that death was the best option for their son, brother and father.  I know that a major aspect of the art of celebrity is self-promotion, but there have to be more productive ways to keep in the spotlight other than verbally desecrating the dead.

July 22, 2009 at 1:11 pm by Wendie

8It Looks Like Michael Jackson’s Doctor Is In Big Trouble

Law enforcement officials raided the Houston office of Michael Jackson’s doctor, Dr. Conrad Murray.  According to a representative of the physician’s attorney, the DEA was looking for evidence of manslaughter.

“This (raid) was unexpected to us [as opposed to the ever-popular scheduled raid],” Miranda Sevcik, a rep for Murray’s attorney Ed Chernoff, tells PEOPLE. “All this drama is just not necessary, is how we feel. Ed’s not dismayed about it. He’s just trying to figure out what’s going on. But he’s not worried about it.” 

“The coroner wants to clear up the cause of death, we share that goal,” says Chernoff in a statement posted on his firm’s Web site. “We don’t have access to the most important information in this case … the toxicology report. We’re still in the dark like everybody else.” 

So, 15 vehicles worth of police officers, DEA agents and detectives just showed up this morning with a search warrant in hand.  They took 21 documents and a forensic image of a hard drive with them.  According to a source,  ”They are looking for Propofol, along with anything else they find. But Propofol is the big one.” 

I think it’s a fairly safe bet that the good doctor will be receiving visitors at his Nevada office, too.  I also think that someone is going to serve jail time before this is over.

July 22, 2009 at 12:25 pm by Wendie

5Joe Jackson Talks About Slavery. Relevancy Unknown

Crazy Joe Jackson was on Larry King Live last night and discussed — what else? — Michael.  The elder Jackson was pretty adamant in letting King’s audience know that he didn’t abuse Michael and that rumors of Joe beating his children are somehow related to the days of slavery.  I’m starting to wonder if JJ doesn’t have a little pill habit of his own.

Also, in a seemingly unintentional act of irony, Joe praised his own parenting skills — he made no mistakes — and pointed out that most of Michael’s childhood friends are now dead due to their lifestyles.  Sigh.

July 21, 2009 at 6:42 am by Wendie

4Let the Robbing of Michael Jackson’s Grave Begin

Sony’s movie studio has bid $50 million to acquire the worldwide distribution rights to a film based on rehearsal footage for Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” comeback concert series, according to a person familiar with the bid.

The person said Monday that the bid came after several studios, including Paramount, Universal and 20th Century Fox, were shown footage starting early last week. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because the bidding had not been completed. None of the studios would comment on the record.

The winning studio would produce the film with Jackson’s concert promoter, AEG Live, and his estate. It would go a long way to helping AEG Live recoup some of the $30 to $32M it spent producing the concert before Jackson died.

Sony’s bid is on par with the cost of making a mid-range budget movie, and is offset by the fact that the Sony group of companies would benefit from the music licensing rights attached to the film.

This bid strikes me as relatively low, honestly. A movie like this has the potential to be cult-style successful, and will easily do hundreds of millions of dollars in DVD and digital sales, not to mention the throngs of people who will check it out in the theaters. Plus the soundtrack — which Sony’s music arm will have rights to as well.The film itself will cost next to nothing to make, because the footage already exists. If Sony scores this deal for $50M — even considering they’ll have to split some of the revenue with AEG and the estate — they’re making out like bandits.

July 20, 2009 at 9:05 pm by Evil Beet

23Of Course Some Guy Has Surfaced Claiming To Be Michael Jackson’s Biological Son

To be fair, Omer Bhatti has been on the scene and claiming to be Michael Jackson’s son for years now.  But now that the King of Pop is dead, Bhatti is asking for a DNA test.  Not to lay claim to Jackson’s fortune  – of course not — but to settle the burning question that lurks in the mind of him and, well, no one else:  Did Michael Jackson father a child 20-something years ago via a Norwegian one-night stand?

Some sources say that Michael referred to Bhatti as his son after meeting him in 1996.  A young Omer wowed MJ with an impression of the singer.  For years, this kid has been living on and off at Neverland Ranch and was seen visiting Katherine and Joe yesterday.

Obviously, Omer Bhatti had some sort of relationship and connection with Michael Jackson.  But biological?  I’m not so sure about that.  

In closing, I’d like to congratulate myself for exercising restraint and not using the term “the kid is not my son” even once.  It was tempting.

July 20, 2009 at 7:29 am by Wendie

17Of Course LaToya is Releasing a Song About Michael

I’ve decided to title every piece that I write about the Michael Jackson debacle as “Of Course …”  It’s all so frigging predictable.  The DNA tests, the court battles, toxicology reports, and tribute songs — if a screenwriter was working on a script for the Michael Jackson biopic, this is exactly how it would be written.  Except this constant dramatic merry-go-round of revelations is actually happening. 

Needless to say, there was no shock when I learned that LaToya raced to the studio to record a song about Michael.  Cutting a single — it’s what the Jackson family does.  Now, I’m not an expert in music and I’m sure I’m not using the right terms, so bear with me.  LaToya Jackson’s soon-to-be-released single, “Home” is — hmm … what’s it called? — oh, a studio-manufactured piece of vacuous crap.

July 20, 2009 at 7:01 am by Wendie