1Mark Wahlberg Might Go Back to Making Music

From Entertainmentwise:

Mark Wahlberg could soon be dominating the charts with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

The group achieved a Billboard Hot 100 number one hit with their track ‘Good Vibrations’, which went on to go platinum in later years.

His acting career took off and carried him away from the world of music, even scoring him two Oscar nominations,  but Mark has hinted he’s missing the stage.

“Do you think it will be lucrative?” he replied, when asked if he might turn to music again. “Well, the Funky Bunch wants to get back out there, too. I’ve just got to find the right time. We might, though…”

Okay, just stop there, Mark. Just because you’ve been spending time with Justin Bieber doesn’t mean it’s time for you to revive what has thankfully been long dead with the Funky Bunch. Just no. It was a wonderful time, yes, but the ship has sailed and it’s time to let it go. Go do karaoke! Listen to your old cassette tape and Walkman out and listen to it to relive the glory, but leave it be, otherwise. Besides, don’t you have burgers to make?

March 4, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

7So, Mark Wahlberg Was Kind of Drunk During an Interview

Mark Wahlberg was promoting his upcoming film Broken City on the UK’s  The Graham Norton Show on Friday night, but something in the water wasn’t clean. Or, well, it wasn’t water, because the Funky Bunch’s frontman seemed a little less than sober. The highlight of the appearance had to be a very flushed Mark sitting on Graham’s lap while playing with his nipples. And by “highlight” I mean “uncomfortable event I will never unsee”.

Sarah Silverman was also on the episode, and you know shit is going down when Sarah Silverman comes off the most normal. Michael Fassbender was there, too, but he’s a bit of a non-entity (and I say that having actually seen Shame), so that’s that.

Check out part of Mark’s appearance on The Graham Norton Show below. What do we think – hitting the bottle?

February 10, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer

0Mark Wahlberg Is An Offensive Jackass, But He Totally Would Have Saved The Day on 9/11

Hey, everybody! Guess who just did an interview with Men’s Health. Mark Wahlberg! Whooo! Tell me all about it, Marky Mark!

On being ok with movies his wife chooses for date night: “As long as it isn’t a Sarah Jessica Parker movie.”

On crying during movies: “The last time I really cried a lot? During The Help. I cried about six or seven times. It was the wife’s choice, but it was a great movie.”

On being scheduled to be on one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center: “If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

On masturbation: “I don’t get down with jerking off, dude. Look. I don’t believe in everything that the church says. I try to do the right thing. I lead a clean and pure life. I’m a married guy. I have a beautiful wife. Sex is not the most important thing to me, being horny all the time, spanking the — I mean, it’s not against the law. You can do whatever you want. And it’s not like, ‘I shouldn’t do it because of my faith. I’m just not really that into it that much anyway.”

Mark!  What’s your problem with masturbation, buddy?!  It’s a perfectly natural, perfectly healthy thing to … wait. What did you say about September 11th?

Ok, I get that you’re supposed to be this big action hero, but that’s in movies. That’s not real life. In real life, you don’t mention a national tragedy in which lots of people died in terms of “dude, I totally would have saved the day on that one.” How do those words come out of your mouth like that without your brain realizing how insanely wrong they are? That would be kind of like saying “Oh yeah, the Holocaust? Whatever. If I was there, things would have gone different, I’ll tell you that much. I’d have been all ‘not on my watch, Nazis!’” And no, Mark, that’s not ok to say either.

To drive this important point home just a little more, here’s a statement from Deena Burnett-Bailey, the widow of one of the passengers on Flight 93:

“Does Mark Wahlberg have a pilot’s license? Then I think hindsight is 20/20 and it’s insignificant to say what you would have done if you weren’t there. The plan for Flight 93 was foiled by heroes. For him to speculate that his presence on board could have stopped everything is silly and disrespectful.  Sounds like someone is grandstanding.”

It seems like ol’ Marky Mark has been properly chastised though, because he did offer up this little apology:

“To suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible,” the Contraband star told PEOPLE. “I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive. It was certainly not my intention.”

Please, Mark, for the sake of good people all around you: the next time you think about saying something that will offend potentially millions of people, just don’t instead, all right?

January 19, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

0Quotables: Mark Wahlberg is a Belieber, Too

“I see the guy and spent time with him, and you see what he does and how he does it, and then you actually have a conversation with him, and it’s there. It’s there – and if not, I will extract it.”

Goldarnit, I think I have this figured out. All of these A-list actors and directors spouting off about how “talented” and “versatile” and “extractable” Justin Bieber is? It’s as sell-out. It’s them wanting a piece of the current cash cow. These guys probably despise Justin Bieber and all that he stands for, but they’re willing to overlook that in order to get a piece of that tween pie – ’til, at least, the next mini-artist comes along and they can glom onto his worldwide fame, too.

I’m sickened. Seriously. If I hear one more relatively important-ish celebrity fawn all over Justin Bieber like he’s some kind of god incarnate, I’m going to completely lose my grasp on pop culture reality altogether.

December 29, 2011 at 5:30 am by Sarah

0Mark and Donnie Wahlberg To Open “Wahlburgers”

Well, my brain just exploded. Of course, I’m on my all-new no-sugar, no-carbs diet, so any mention of hamburgers, hot dogs, or ex-New Kids on the Block makes me ravenous. Still, this is straight-up incredible news: Marky Mark and brother Donnie Wahlberg are opening a burger joint called Wahlburgers. Reportedly, every burger will come dressed in a tiny pair of Calvin Klein undies, with miniature abs carved into each individual bun. Just kidding! But that would be great if it were true, right?

The AV Club:

Next year the brothers also plan to open a pizzeria, which also doesn’t have an amusing name yet. Honestly, they sort of blew their wad with Wahlburgers. But surely you can imagine all sorts of hilarious Wahlberg-based menu items for them, such as the Hangin’ Tough Hanger Steak maybe, or the Marky Mark And The Funky Lunch Special, or Dirk Diggler’s Footlongs, or the Eyein’-My Lemon Drink, and then, if you ever get the chance to visit his restaurant, you can personally suggest them to a patiently smirking Mark Wahlberg while he stares at you like he wants to punch your face.

Hee hee! Should your mom visit Wahlburgers, say hi to her for me!

August 25, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Jenn

3New BFF Alert: Justin Bieber and Mark Wahlberg!

It turns out that the Biebz and Marky Mark are about to do a little business together.  A little collaboration, if you will.  Now, before you get your hopes up that Justin is going to be the newest member of The Funky Bunch, let me gently inform you that this collaboration is a film.  It’s not music.  The Biebz isn’t going to lay down vocals on a “Good Vibrations” remix, and he never will.  I’m sorry.

Check out what Mark had to say about the project:

“Justin Bieber and I are going to do a movie together. We’re putting it together. Yeah, we’re doing it at Paramount. We pitched them the idea, and we talked to him [Bieber] about doing it and he loved the idea.

“Been sending me videos – he sent me a video of himself and yeah, I think he’s really talented.

“We’re going to do something interesting. More of a drama. It’s interesting, right? You want to know. I will not (be singing) and neither will he.”

Ok, let’s just get one thing straight here:  Justin Bieber is not “really talented” at acting.  I mean, musically he’s a gift to this world, an angel, I daresay, but the boy is not going to thrive in a dramatic, scripted film.  He’s just not.

Would any of you see this theoretical movie?

April 28, 2011 at 11:30 am by Emily