4Khloe Kardashian Doth Protest Too Much, Insists Her Sex Life With Lamar Odom Is Great

TGIF, guys! Let’s get the bullshit out of the way first, shall we?

Now, I am of the opinion that no one needs to know about a couple’s sex life (or their respective genitals) besides the people in the couple, but Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom must have missed that memo, because they just won’t shut the hell up about how much they enjoy a bit of the ol’ rumpy pumpy with each other.

From US Weekly:

Are Khloe and Lamar headed for splitsville? No way! In the new issue of Us Weekly, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom put to rest false reports of major marital strife in their three-year marriage.

“Yes, we bicker,” Khloe, 28, conceded to Us in a recent joint interview. “but we make sure to never go to bed angry.” Added L.A. Clippers forward Odom, 33: “This girl is going to make you talk it out! Trust me!”

In the extended sit-down with Us, Kim and Kourtney’s sister and Odom reveal how they’ve worked out some of their more difficult disagreements, how they find time amid their busy schedules — and how things are going, ahem, in the bedroom.

“We love each other so much,” Odom says. “And sex is fun!” adds Kardashian. “Sex is great,” Odom clarifies. “It’s on a high level. It’s intense!”

Listen, I like Khlomar as much as I like, say, mustard – it’s not all that great, but at least it’s not mayonnaise (Kimye), you know? But I have to say, I love how these idiots state plain and simple relationship facts as if they’re some sort of secret epiphany that only they have figured out. Newsflash, dipshits: every couple bickers over little things when they spend 24/7 together, any couple that doesn’t communicate well and often (er, “talk it out”) will probably break up and sex is great, duh, when it’s with someone you love – which presumably they do, since they’re married and all. I assume they haven’t yet had the moment of clarity when they realise that’s not enough to save their relationship if it’s shit otherwise, though. I’m sure when it does hit them, though, they’ll hit 1 on their speed dial and get back in touch with US Weekly.

February 8, 2013 at 4:30 am by Jennifer

7Look, It’s The Kardashian Kristmas Kard!

Because we all know that it’s not Christmastime until we see how the Kardashians and the Jenners decided to come together for their annual Christmas card.

There’s a couple of interesting things here, I guess. Obviously, Kanye isn’t there, which is extremely upsetting, and also surprising. Don’t they realize how much more press they would get with this is he was on there? There’s not any trouble in Kimye paradise, is there? Heaven forbid Kim lose the latest love of her life, especially when she’s still married to her last one. Can you even imagine?

I guess the only other interesting thing is how much people care about these cards every year. When I was trying to find the best version of this photo, I found dozens and dozens of other blogs and news sites that already got the tip last night, and I don’t get it. And you know I’m not trying to do a big “why do people care about celebrities?” thing, or even a “why do people care about the Kardashians?” thing. People care about them because it’s fun to gossip, duh. But I don’t get why people care so much about these Christmas cards specifically. Is it just so we can speculate about Kim’s love life? Or to see what Bruce Jenner‘s face is up to? Because I can understand that. But otherwise, what’s the appeal?

It’s not Kim’s stupid greased back hair, that’s for sure.

December 18, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

2Apparently Khloe And Lamar Aren’t Doing So Hot

Have you heard all the divorce rumors swirling around poor Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom? I’m not talking about the ones that began when they got married after knowing each other for just a few weeks, I’m talking about the more recent ones. Awful, right? I like to believe that these two are in it for the long haul, and whenever I hear all these rumors, I usually just give them a flippant “pssh!” and carry on with my day.

This is an example of such a rumor:

Khloe Kardashian claims she lost an incredible 20lbs in just 20 days, after piling on weight as her marriage to NBA star Lamar Odom started to crumble.

The 27-year-old took refuge in comfort food after Odom, 32, blamed her for the humiliation of being fired by the Dallas Mavericks, a source told Life and Style Weekly.

But ironically, a period of intense training with Odom has brought her both closer to her husband, and to a smaller dress size.
Khloe, who is a strapping 5ft 10in to her sister Kim’s 5ft 2in, posed in an indigo bikini for the publication under the banner: ‘How I got thin fast!’.

Khloe’s dramatic weight loss is credited to eating healthy meals cooked by a personal chef and intense workout sessions with her hubby and a trainer.

It’s been reported that the pair are set to take a break from their reality TV career, but as RadarOnline.com first reported, sources close to Lamar think it’s doubtful he will walk away.

“I don’t believe that Lamar is not going to do another season,” a source close to the couple said about their show Khloe and Lamar.

“He’s been telling people how much he’s making. He’s been bragging about all his money and saying it is a lot so it is too much for him to quit.”

See what I mean? From what I’ve seen, Lamar absolutely adores Khloe, and I couldn’t imagine him blaming her for his basketball issues, no matter how upset he might be. I’m not sure I could completely believe this story, and so all that divorce nonsense is, once again, so whatever.

Oh, but Khloe did an interview with People? And she actually mentions divorce herself? I … but … oh no:

“We just wanted to prioritize a little,” Khloe Kardashian, 27, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview as the couple tables their show Khloé & Lamar until his basketball career is back on track. “We just wanted a little pause. Part of being married is knowing when your husband needs your support.”

While Kardashian says she always made sure cameras weren’t around during days when Lamar, 32, had a basketball game (he’s currently sitting out the season after a difficult trade to Dallas), now that they’ll only be appearing on E!’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and their own daily lives will no longer be on display, “there’s less pressure on us.”

That pressure had certainly been building.

But Kardashian says, the risk of damaging her relationship with Lamar wasn’t worth it.

“I’m a modern girl, but you should put your husband first,” she says. “I like to think divorce is not an option.”

I am so scared.

May 4, 2012 at 9:30 am by Emily

2Khloe and Lamar Aren’t Doing Khloe and Lamar Anymore

Here’s a question to consider: how do you imagine all the Kardashian kraziness will end? There are a couple of broad options, as far as I can tell. One would be that it will never end. Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe would hand over the reins to Kendall and Kylie Jenner, who will in turn hand them over to the offspring of Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe, and the cycle will continue forever. Another option is that the public will lose interest in these people in the next couple of years or so, and the shows will get cancelled and they’ll all slip away into obscurity. The last option is that they’ll get tired of the cameras and the attention and retreat into privacy all by themselves.

With Kim and her trusty sidekick, Kris Jenner, I’m sure it will be that second option. But in a not-so-surprising move by our favorite Kardashian, Khloe has officially decided to end her show, Khloe and Lamar, on her own terms.

From TMZ:

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian have decided to pull the plug on their spin-off show “Khloe & Lamar.”

Sources tell TMZ, the show’s second season will be its last … because Lamar wants to focus on reviving his fizzling NBA career.

As we previously reported, Lamar was relegated to the Dallas Mavericks’ inactive list after putting up career low numbers this season. If he’s lucky, he’ll be traded. If not, who knows …

But we’re told Lamar is determined to make a comeback — and he feels he should focus on only one project. Lamar will be living in L.A. full-time and he’s hired trainers to help him get his game back.

According to sources, Khloe and Lamar WILL make occasional appearances on the reality mother ship,”Keeping Up with the Kardashians” — but that’s it. No mas.

Yeah, Lamar didn’t do so hot in Dallas. He took a leave of absence for a while to take care of his ill father, and he missed quite a few games, and then he was demoted to the D-League for a bit, which I think would be like making Justin Timberlake give up all his fancy movies and fame and go on back to the Mickey Mouse Club. Then a few weeks ago, Lamar made a statement saying that he and the team have “mutually agreed that it’s in the best interest of both parties” for him to quit the team. The only thing I know about basketball is that I have a knack for hitting myself in the face with the ball, so I have no idea where Lamar can go from here. Would it be a long shot for him to get traded? Is it almost certain that he’ll have to retire? No idea.

All I know is that Khloe sounds like a lovely, supportive wife, who is also a Kardashian who is willingly stepping out of the spotlight. Yeah, I’m still having trouble comprehending that one.

April 30, 2012 at 6:30 am by Emily

12Kheck Out the Kardashian’s Klassy Khristmas Kard for Khrist’s Sake, KKKKKKKKK

Ugh. This is bad. This is so, so bad. This is definitely the worst Christmas card the Kardashians have had so far, and I’d know. We ran almost their entire collection here last year around this time.

So here it is. And for all of you lucky bastards out there who just love 3D, and who’re so rich (like the Kardashians) that you have stupid, senseless things around your house like 3D glasses, the shoot was done in 3D, TOO. You should probably play the lottery tonight, you know. This type of serendipity just doesn’t come along that often.

Me, I’m still trying to figure out the theme here. Is it “Have a Bad Photoshop Christmas”? Is it “Let’s pretend Kourtney has even half the ass that Kim does so happy holidays you bastard”? Is it “Ho! Ho! Ho! How ’bout we make Kris Humphries SOOOO JEALOUS that he missed the Christmas card by a few weeks by making the (cottage) cheese stand alone?” I don’t know. Maybe. My guess is that they were going for Marrakesh “classy” this time, but it never fails to amuse me that they confuse “classy” with “klassy,” and really, how appropriate is that?

Images via Celebuzz

December 19, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

6SNL Mocks Kim Kardashian’s Divorce, Which Should Be Terrible, Except It’s Really Funny

Here is a sad admission: I DON’T LAUGH THAT OFTEN. But this? This Saturday Night Live sketch from last night’s episode? Oh, I belly-laughed. I may have even guffawed. It was terrible, and I’m sorry. Except for, Kris Jenner is kind of the worst ever, and boy oh boy, did I laugh at Kristen Wiig’s version of Kris Jenner. Meanwhile, Andy Samberg’s limited talents (sorry!) were perfectly utilized in his portrayal of Kris Humphries. Oh, my God, and then Taran Killam as Bruce Jenner. Oh, my God. Just watch. (Charlie Day hosted.)

No, I do feel bad for laughing. I feel awful, actually: Kim Kardashian has reportedly flown to Minnesota to love-tackle (that’s a basketball term, right?) estranged husband Kris Humphries. Kim feels she was brash in ditching her husband of 72 days, evidently, and while this doesn’t signal a real reconciliation, I’m actually relieved that Kim is at least sort of trying.

November 6, 2011 at 11:15 am by Jenn