2New BFF Alert: Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga!

At the heart of it all, this is a story about the blossoming friendship between Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga, but I would feel bad if I didn’t let you know that Lana Del Rey was involved as well. Yes, this is a three-way BFF situation, and it is glorious.

From Us Weekly:

Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga and Lana Del Rey had slumber party Wednesday night at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood, X17 reports. The ladies, each 26 years old, reportedly spent the evening together “watching old movies and playing board games.”

“The three of them had dinner in the garden on Tuesday night at Chateau, and then Lindsay and Gaga ran upstairs to play dress-up and came down in different outfits,” a source told X17.

According to the Daily Mail, Gaga tweeted at Lohan on Wednesday, writing, “When you ordered a cucumber and a knife to the bar last night, I thought your were going to perform a vasectomy. Just a skinny b—h.”

Lohan tweeted back, “Skinny snack 1, Lady Gaga hahaha.” Gaga then tweeted a photo of a tray with a cucumber with a knife in it and sliced lemons sitting on bar. “How much could one do with this arrangement!” she wrote for a caption.

The “Born This Way” singer’s tweets and photo, however, have since been deleted.

Lindsay’s tweets, meanwhile, have definitely not been deleted. She’s also retweeted a photo from Lana, and when someone made a simple tweet of all three ladies’ names, she retweeted that as well. Yep, it looks like Lindsay’s got some friends in high places, and she wants us all to know it. Lady Gaga, was probably just high the whole time and upon sobering up, immediately regretted her choices. And Lana Del Rey is always a mystery.

I’ve been really into hyperbole lately, so when I first read this story, I immediately exclaimed “this is the best day of my life!” I just think this is a really awesome, hilarious story, almost along the lines of Tom Cruise, Xenu Whisperer. Is this story really that wonderful*, or was this sort of relationship always destined to be?

*Yes.

July 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily

7Quotables: Lady Gaga’s Music Is Going in A New Direction

“Let’s just say I feel, I feel that when I wrote Born This Way, I demonstrated a sense of maturity. And I feel that, on the next album, there’s a lack of maturity, it’s a tremendous lack of maturity or sense of responsibility.”

- Lady Gaga teases us all with exciting talk of her next album.

Let’s just look at that first part for a minute. “I feel that when I wrote Born This Way, I demonstrated a sense of maturity.” And now let me present, with zero judgement, a few lyrics from a few songs off the Born This Way album.

Here’s the chorus from a song called “Government Hooker”:

As long as I’m your hooker
(Back up and turn around)
As long as I’m your hooker
(Hands on the ground)
As long as I’m your hooker
(Back up and turn around)
As long as I’m your hooker
(Get down!)

Hooker!
(Yeah, you’re my hooker)
Hooker
(Government Hooker)

And the chorus from “Hair”:

I’ve had enough, this is my prayer
That I’ll die livin’ just as free as my hair
I’ve had enough, this is my prayer
That I’ll die livin’ just as free as my hair
I’ve had enough, I’m not a freak
I just keep fightin’ to stay cool on the streets
I’ve had enough, enough, enough
And this is my prayer, I swear
I’m as free as my hair
I’m a free as my hair
I am my hair
I am my hair

A bit from a song called “Bloody Mary”:

I’ll dance, dance, dance
With my hands, hands, hands,
Above my head, head, head
Like Jesus, said
I’m gonna dance, dance, dance
With my hands, hands,
Hands above my head
Hands together
Forgive him before he’s dead

And, my personal favorite, the bridge from “Judas”:

In the most Biblical sense,
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas, kiss me if offenced,
Or wear an ear condom next time

I’m really glad that she’s going to stop with all that mature gobblydegook, aren’t you? Like, whoa, Gaga, you’re blowing my mind with all these rich lyrics and this way advanced music! An ear condom, that’s so heavy! You said you are your hair? Whoa. Just whoa.

But seriously, if there’s another album full of that “Bad Romance” bullshit where she just makes noises and stutters all over the place, I demand a free ticket to another planet.

July 10, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

4Listen to Lady Gaga’s Upbeat New Song, “Princess Die”

That’s D-I-E, folks. D-I-E.

I’ve always said how much I enjoy Lady Gaga‘s simpler songs – you know, the ones where she’s just playing a piano and singing and not trying to copy Madonna – so of course I kind of like this song.

The song is really dark, obviously, but I appreciate the idea behind it. Over here, me and Sarah are pretty lighthearted most of the time. Sure, we get frustrated by things, and we have our fair share of snark, obviously, but we don’t want anything bad to happen to these silly celebrities. Meanwhile, on the rest of the internet, there are a lot of people who want bad things to happen to celebrities. I know I don’t have to tell you this, but there are tons and tons of bloggers and commentors on blogs who say they wish Lindsay would overdose already and get it over with or who say that Jessica Simpson is so fat that she should just kill herself. It’s ridiculous, and it’s really sad, but it comes up pretty often.

Anyway, I really just wish that Lady Gaga would never, ever speak in public, and that she’d just sit at a piano and sing songs all the time. And I mean that in a completely supportive way.

June 28, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily

7Lady Gaga’s Gross Perfume Is Almost Here!

It’s been over a year since we last heard anything about Lady Gaga‘s very first perfume. In case you don’t remember, we heard that it was going to have the distinct, classic smell of blood and semen. I’m not sure how we were able to make it this long without drenching our bodies in that elegant scent, but it doesn’t matter, because we don’t have to for much longer. The sad news? It actually doesn’t smell like blood and semen. Instead, it smells like an expensive hooker.

From The Insider:

In a world where celebrity fragrances are a dime a dozen (Paris Hilton has 15), Lady Gaga managed to stand out as usual when word got out that she wanted her first fragrance Fame to smell “like blood and semen.”

Thankfully, that idea has been nixed — but this being Gaga, it’s still going to smell pretty darn weird.

According to the bottle itself (which she tweeted a picture of after various fashion editors already leaked the photos), Fame smells like “tears of Belladonna, crushed heart of tiger orchidea, with a black veil of incense, pulverized apricot, and, the combinative essences of saffron and honey drops.”

You have to admit, the blood and semen combo was a lot easier to visualize.

But she reportedly did end up using her own blood sample for the final product.

“It was taken out of my own blood sample, so it’s a sense of having me on your skin,” she told Australian radio hosts Kyle and Jackie O, according to Fashionista.com. “I wanted to extract sort of the feeling and sense of blood and semen from molecular structures, so that’s where [the rumors] came from. That is in the perfume, but it doesn’t smell like that. Actually, the perfume smells like an expensive hooker.”

So if you want to smell like a prostitute, Gaga’s perfume is due out this Fall.

Here’s the picture of the bottle:

See, it says “black fluid” because the perfume itself is black, but it changes color once you put it on your skin. And it still has “the feeling and sense of blood and semen from molecular structures,” whatever that means. All in all, I think it sounds like a solid product. After all, if you can’t smell like blood and semen, at least you can feel it on your skin, right?

June 13, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily

3Lady Gaga Finally Responds to Madonna’s Backhanded Compliments

“… Some people feel like they have to make a mockery of your work … That doesn’t make me feel good at all. That just makes me feel like I’m not a good human being … I don’t even want to fight back because it’s more important to me to keep writing music. I don’t want to be all shady and c-nty. Because that’s really all I care about, is the music … things are really different than they were 25 years ago, and that’s what makes ‘Born This Way’ so relevant for me. We’re socially in a different place and it’s OK, we don’t have to all slice and hate each other anymore.”

Oh now. Come on. Do not sit there and tell me that this isn’t a thinly-veiled jab at Madonna and all of her comments about how Lady Gaga’s unoriginal and a copycat and all that? Because, duh, it is. “Make a mockery” of one’s work? Madonna’s been all over that in comparing ‘Born This Way’ to whatever song it’s supposed to resemble. “Shady and c-nty”? Well. That’s, like, Madonna’s address. As for “things” being “different than they were 25 years ago,” do I even really need to spell that one out for you? Madonna’s OVER. And everyone seems to know it but her. I’m no Lady Gaga fan, and I’m not going to launch another four-hundred-word tirade about how Madonna’s OVER, because it’s all been said.

Way to go, Lady G.

June 11, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

4Lady Gaga Gets A Concussion During A Concert, Keeps On Keepin’ On

Yes, that’s a video of Lady Gaga performing her song “Judas” at a concert when one of her dancers bops her on the head with a gigantic metal pole. As you can see, he bopped her pretty damn hard, but she didn’t miss a beat, and she performed another 16 songs before the show was over. Oh, and at some point, she said “I want to apologize. I did hit my head and I think I may have a concussion but don’t you worry I will finish this show.”

After the show, Lady Gaga’s makeup artist confirmed via Twitter that she actually did get a concussion:

“Gaga has a concussion but she is going to be okay.She wants u to know she loves u. I’m taking care of her.cant believe she finished the show.”

Even if you don’t like Lady Gaga, you’ve got to admit that she has a crazy work ethic. I’m sure it never crossed her mind for even a second to stop performing after she, you know, got whacked on the head by a metal pole, and that’s dedication. Well, it’s either dedication or stupidity.

Have you guys ever gotten a concussion? It’s the worst. A few years ago, I was sleeping over at my dad’s apartment, and he has these really hard floors. I woke up early in the morning because I was thirsty, and I remember heading over towards the kitchen to get a drink, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the floor, and my head hurt so bad. I just sat there for a minute because I couldn’t even believe that it hurt so much. I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t really manage it, and most of this is kind of hazy, but I think I crawled to the couch and went back to sleep. I still don’t remember what happened, but if I’m pretty sure I tripped over my pants and busted my head on the floor. I never went to the doctor because my 20-year-old self didn’t have health insurance or a job or common sense, but I’m fairly certain that was a concussion. And I’m completely certain that I wouldn’t have been able to put on a show immediately afterwards.

In addition to discussing concussions, a popular theory floating around the internet is that Lady Gaga’s concussion was a sign from God that she needs to stop singing such devilish songs. You can tell because she got hit right after she sang the name of “Judas.” Eerie stuff, you guys.

Just in case anything happens to the video, you can watch it over at TMZ. I wouldn’t want you to miss this.

June 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm by Emily