Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Lady Gaga

So, Here’s What Lady GaGa and R Kelly Did on ‘SNL’

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Well, Lady GaGa hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend, and while I still haven’t watched, I certainly have seen her performance of ‘Do What U Want’ with R Kelly and was, predictably, horrified. This is “art”? For real? GaGa got on her knees in front of R Kelly (can I call him just “R”?) before lying down and having him pretend to do push-ups over her and simulate kissing her neck. I just… I mean, whatever.

Not sure how she did on the skits – and yes, I will eventually watch this one out of curiosity – but people were posting gifs on Tumblr that looked pretty amusing.

Look, here’s problem with Lady Gaga: She acts like this bullshit is avant garde art instead of what it actually is, and that’s weird fucking pop music. Do your thing! Duet with R Kelly, try to do a rap song even though it makes zero sense, wear a giant chicken nugget on your head! But don’t pretend there’s some deeper meaning behind it and don’t take yourself so damn seriously.

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Lady GaGa: ‘I’ve Prepared My Whole Life to Host Saturday Night Live’

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Lady GaGa is both host and musical guest on Saturday Night Live tonight, and while I probably won’t watch because HOLY SHIT has that show gotten really, really unfunny, I am a bit curious to see how weird she’s going to be.

Here’s what she told Access Hollywood about her big moment:

“I’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life. I’ve been rehearsing my SNL hosting performance since I was 4, so I’m okay.”

“I actually told [the writers] to push it. I told them to have a good time and not be worried about me being offended or not liking anything. So they really went for it.”

She’d be in pretty big trouble if she was easily offended, because there’s just SO MUCH to make fun of. I would say it’s great that she doesn’t take herself so seriously, but we all know that’s not the case

Will you be watching tonight (or catching up on Hulu tomorrow)? Here’s her promo…

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Lady GaGa’s ‘ARTPOP’ Projected to Sell 75% Less than ‘Born This Way’

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Oh dear, that’s a bit of a disappointment, no? Lady GaGa‘s new album, ARTPOP, was first predicted to sell between 300-350k copies in its first week, but that number has now been lowered to only 260,000… nearly 75% less than her previous album, Born This Way.

From Billboard:

Lady Gaga’s new album “ARTPOP” is aiming for No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart. Industry sources forecast the diva’s latest release to sell around 260,000 copies by the end of the tracking week on Sunday, Nov. 17.

That sum should be enough to take over the No. 1 slot from Eminem’s “The Marshall Mathers LP 2,” which debuted atop the list this week with 792,000 sold, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

“ARTPOP’s” projected sales are lower than its pre-release forecast of 300,000 to 350,000. As we’ve noted in the past, it’s difficult to project sales before an album is released, based on a multitude of variables. Still, “ARTPOP’s” arrival will be near that of recent debuts from Gaga’s fellow pop divas like Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus. Perry’s “PRISM” started with 286,000 and Cyrus’ “Bangerz” bowed with 270,000.

Damn, wait – Eminem sold 792k in a week?! More than double that of Miley AND Katy? That’s so bizarre – especially since that album is absolute shit (save for ‘Monsters’ – good single!). ARTPOP is a horrendous assault on human ears, unfortunately, but Little Monsters will blindly follow, so I’m sure she’ll do okay with this one.

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Lady Gaga Offers Boyfriend A Threesome

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Lady Gaga is so appreciative of boyfriend Taylor Kinney‘s support that she’s offering him a threesome! That’s what she told Howard Stern, anyway. From Newsday.com:

…The outspoken “Applause” singer revealed on yesterday’s “Howard Stern Show” that she thinks a threesome with her boyfriend Taylor Kinney and another woman would be a blast. “He has stuck it out with me for a very long time through drug habits and all those sorts of things,” she revealed. “So he’s a really lovely, amazing person.” Gaga added that she and Taylor are protective of their relationship and rarely speak about it. But she did offer some advice on how to keep the romance alive: The singer suggests a busy schedule as the key to long-lasting love.

I’m guessing the other chick won’t be Madonna.

Have you ever had a threesome? WOULD YOU? Come on, you can tell us.

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Gaga’s Doesn’t Care That Madonna Doesn’t Like Her And Is Sick Of The Comparisons

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Lady Gaga is getting tired of the Madonna comparisons, everyone. And also, she’s pretty certain Madonna doesn’t like her. And she doesn’t care. She almost wears it as a badge of honor. Honestly? I would, too. If Madonna didn’t like me, I’d be proud. Not sure why. I guess it’s the idea of pissing off such a huge star. Here’s what she told Howard Stern, via MTV News:

“There’s not so many ways you can interpret it,” she said when asked by Stern if perhaps jealousy was behind the frequent shots she’s taken from pop icon Madonna over the years. “To me honestly I think she’s more aggravated that I’m not upset that she doesn’t like me. Because I don’t care that she doesn’t like me, No, I don’t care.”

He also wondered what happened between her and one-time supporter Perez Hilton. “I don’t really care anymore,” she said of their very public blow-up.

“The whole thing is really rooted in Madonna, that’s the sort of center of it and nobody’s really said that or admitted to it,” she said of her break with Hilton. “It’s silly. There’s always this pissing match, ‘Did she take her torch?’ [and] ‘Is she the new her?’ ‘Is she going to outlast her?’ … There’s this thing with some people that I’m a threat to the throne,” she said of the constant comparisons between her and Madonna.

“And I don’t want your f-cking throne and no thanks. And I have my own and I don’t actually want a throne at all.”

You know what? That line last? Well said, Gaga. Well said. She’s probably getting really tired of these lame-ass celeb fights she’s been getting in. I would be, too. Most of them aren’t even her fault.

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Lady GaGa: ‘I need to be high’

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I don’t think anyone on planet earth would be shocked to learn that Lady GaGa does drugs. What else could explain the utter fuckery that comes from this woman at every turn? In fact, I’d be worried if she wasn’t doing drugs, because it would point to some serious mental illness and mean that she’d probably need to be institutionalized.

But while we may all wonder just what cocktail of Class A substances she’s partaking in, GaGa has insisted that her drug of choice is… weed. She claims MARIJUANA is behind her bullshit, and that she’s “addicted” to it (despite it not being an addictive substance, physiologically speaking) and has to have it because her career is filled with so much pressure and stress.

From Z100:

“I have been addicted to it and it’s ultimately related to anxiety coping and it’s a form of self-medication and I was smoking up to 15-20 marijuana cigarettes a day with no tobacco. I was living on a totally other psychedelic plane, numbing myself completely, and looking back I do see now that some of it had to do with my hip pain.

“I didn’t know where the pain was coming from so I was just in a lot of pain and very depressed all the time and not really sure why. I’ve been addicted to various things since I was young. Most heavily over the past seven years… But, the truth is that it is very hard to be famous.

“It’s wonderful to be famous because I have amazing fans. But it is very, very hard to go out into the world when you are not feeling happy and act like you are because I am a human being too and I break, and I think there is an assumption… that I cannot break because I am an alien woman and I am unstoppable.”

“I do put that pressure on myself; I have to be high to be creative. I need that, that’s an error in my life that happened for over 10 years. Can I be brilliant without it? I know that I can be and I have to be because I want to live, and I want my fans to want to live.”

Okay, I don’t even know what to say about this. You were so desperate – as you’ve admitted many times – to get famous that you clawed and fought for it many years, and now you’re complaining about how hard it is and blaming the fame you sought so desperately for your CHOICE to use drugs for self-medication? Go fuck yourself, lady. Also, “marijuana cigarettes”? I wasn’t aware it was 1962. Her pretentiousness is out of this world. Literally. Send her there and keep her.

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