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Kourtney Kardashian

7Flashback: Kardashians Circa 2008

photo of kim kardashian kourtney khloe 2008 pictures
This photo was one of the first shoots that Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe collaborated on, and it’s somewhere around five years old. While the girls look “pretty” and all, there’s one thing that I feel compelled to point out—these three chicks have some big-ass heads. They are some melons, aren’t they? It’s not even just the bouffant hair—it’s the whole damn dome, guys. The Kardashians have big heads, and while I’m not making fun of them (because I’ve been told that *I* have a big head), I’m definitely pointing out its evidence in this picture. Because it’s there. For sure.

Incidentally? In related Kim Kardashian news? She was voted Worst Dressed (along with Nicki Minaj) on the Huffington Post’s Worst Dressed Celebrities list, and gosh. Can we go ahead and credit Kanye for that? Because while she never really had the greatest fashion sense in the world, it’s definitely gone downhill since she started f-cking with Kanye West.

Congratulations on that, Kim. And Kanye—hats off to you, too, I guess, huh?

January 18, 2013 at 7:30 am by Sarah

7Look, It’s The Kardashian Kristmas Kard!

A photo of the Kardashian family Christmas card

Because we all know that it’s not Christmastime until we see how the Kardashians and the Jenners decided to come together for their annual Christmas card.

There’s a couple of interesting things here, I guess. Obviously, Kanye isn’t there, which is extremely upsetting, and also surprising. Don’t they realize how much more press they would get with this is he was on there? There’s not any trouble in Kimye paradise, is there? Heaven forbid Kim lose the latest love of her life, especially when she’s still married to her last one. Can you even imagine?

I guess the only other interesting thing is how much people care about these cards every year. When I was trying to find the best version of this photo, I found dozens and dozens of other blogs and news sites that already got the tip last night, and I don’t get it. And you know I’m not trying to do a big “why do people care about celebrities?” thing, or even a “why do people care about the Kardashians?” thing. People care about them because it’s fun to gossip, duh. But I don’t get why people care so much about these Christmas cards specifically. Is it just so we can speculate about Kim’s love life? Or to see what Bruce Jenner‘s face is up to? Because I can understand that. But otherwise, what’s the appeal?

It’s not Kim’s stupid greased back hair, that’s for sure.

December 18, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily

0The Kardashians’ New Show Is Basically Being Filmed in The Slums of Miami

A photo of Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian

Yeah, the latest Kardashian show, the one with Kim and Kourtney in Miami? The show that no one cares about? I think we’ve mentioned it at some point. Anyway, it seems like some people actually do care: the people who would be the poor, tortured souls living next door to the Kardashians.

From Radar:

Filming has begun as Kourtney & Kim Take Miami -– but this time they won’t be living anywhere near glamorous South Beach!

According to Belle Isle Blog, the Kardashian’s hopes of renting a beach home on the Sunset Islands, DiLidi Island and on North Bay Road were blocked by irate neighbors who didn’t want the hassle of having the reality-TV stars on their doorstep. The family needed signatures from immediate neighbors of the prospective homes they wanted to use for a three-month period of non-stop filming – and a support of 90 percent of homeowners within 500 feet. However, most residents kicked up a stink – complaining that the film crews and paparazzi would prove a disruption to their normally tranquil neighborhoods.

It has meant that Kourtney, Kim and Khloe – who has been filming with her older sisters – have had to settle for a base nearly 14 miles away from trendy South Beach in gloomy North Miami Beach.

“They found a gated community in North Miami Beach,” Raul Gonzalez of Miami Beach’s Office of Film and Print confirmed.

But despite their abode being in a desirable gated community, RadarOnline.com has learned the area the 51,000 square-feet property is far from safe.

“The area is known for its hourly hotels, strip clubs and high crime rate,” a source revealed. “It’s a far-cry from their usual posh digs, with just a 7-Eleven and an abandoned old bank close by.”

On Wednesday, filming for Kourtney & Kim Take Miami got underway – with the two protagonists taking the eldest sister’s kids, Mason and Penelope to the Wizard of Oz interactive exhibit at the Miami Children’s museum.

The new season is set to premiere in January 2013.

Oh, that just sounds so great. Really, it does. I would love to watch it if I thought they’d embrace their shady neighborhood, but mostly I just think they’ll hide it. Like, if Kourtney and Kim are taking kids to a children’s museum, I don’t think we’re going to see any field trips to the old abandoned bank, you know?

October 14, 2012 at 12:00 pm by Emily

5Kourtney Kardashian Looks Refreshingly Average Post-Baby

So Kourtney Kardashian gave birth about six weeks ago (as you remember; she named her little daughter ‘Penelope’), and instead of bellyaching about her forty-five pound weight gain (well, after the fact, anyway), Kourtney claims that she’s not in any rush to get the weight off, and is taking the “it’ll come off when it comes off” stance on things, which I completely and totally admire.

From Us Weekly:

“I’m 5 feet tall, so that’s a lot. While I’m here around the house I just eat healthy. However, she is not looking to rush off the weight due to how physically demanding it was following Mason’s birth. “I’m so embarrassed that I punished my body for a photo shoot. I’ve been obsessing about this weight thing a little too much.”

And in this picture, yeah, she‘s definitely looking a bit curvier than she has in the past, but she looks GOOD. She looks healthy and attractive and above all, pretty darn happy with herself (as she should be; those two kids of hers are adorable). No, the only weight I think she needs to lose is about a hundred and seventy pounds worth of something I call “dickbag,” and that happens to go by the alias of “Scott.”

August 24, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah
Filed Under: Kourtney Kardashian

12Love It or Leave It: Kardashian … Ugh, Eyewear Now

photo of kardashian eyewear pictures
So, bearing in mind that I *am* a glasses-wearer (I just prefer them to contacts, because I wore contacts for such a long time that I finally got sick of them and the hassle that they were, as unbelievable as that sounds to some die-hard contacts wearers), try to remember this when I say how stupid Kim Kardashian looks in glasses. She looks flat-out dumb. Like, her face is just way too fancy and done up for something as simple and grounded as glasses (and I don’t mean the part about her face being too “fancy” in a good way, either). Kim Kardashian wearing glasses is like wearing sweat socks with your ballroom gown.

And you know what? That’s got to really, really suck for Kim that she’s so high above it all that she can’t even do the simplest of shit like have eyesight problems. It’s got to be some sort of highfalutin issue when you can’t even wear f-cking glasses without drawing criticism. Either that, or people just hate you, and I think it’s definitely that.

The other two girls, Kourtney and Khloe, actually look kind of charming wearing the specs, and I have to say, the look on those two is flattering. But Kim? No. Not at all, actually. Laws. It’s got to be so tough being the Perfect Bitch, you know? Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

What do you guys think about the Kardashian eyewear line (aside from the general “What the f-ck” reaction that probably plagued you all)?

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August 10, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah

2Kourtney Kardashian Had Her Baby!

A photo of Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick

From People:

A new reality star is born!

Kourtney Kardasian and fiancé Scott Disick have welcomed their second child, a daughter named Penelope Scotland Disick, born early Sunday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, reports E! News.

“Scott and I are overjoyed to welcome our precious angel Penelope Scotland Disick into our lives. We are forever blessed. Mommy and baby are resting comfortably,” the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star – who, with Disick, is already mom to 2-year-old son Mason – told E! News.

Their new arrival weighed 7 lbs., 14 oz. and was delivered via all-natural birth, according to the report.

“It was a great. She had an easy delivery,” matriarch Kris Jenner told E! “[Penelope] is so cute. She looks just like Mason. She’s so beautiful. We are so happy.”

Describing her pregnancy with Penelope, Kardashian, 33, told PEOPLE in April: “I feel really good … [though] this time I had a little more morning sickness. I think it’s a little bit harder being pregnant when you have a toddler I’m chasing after. Last time I could nap more.”

Am I in the minority by thinking that Penelope Scotland is a pretty adorable name? I usually think that naming a baby after a geographical location is sort of weird, but names like Brooklyn and Paris* have become somewhat popular, and I get that those sort of names usually have some sort of significance for the parents. But Penelope? I think that’s a lovely name.

Now we just have to see a picture of little Penelope Scotland and a video of Kourtney ripping her from vagina and we’ll be set!

*I went to elementary school with a girl named Paris Love. I was about 8, and I was like “man, if I knew what porn was, I’d think that she had an awesome porn star name.”

July 9, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Kourtney Kardashian