Yesterday, accompanied by a glorious, glorious SNL clip, Jenn told you guys that Kim Kardashian went to Minnesota to see her true love, Kris Humphries. And listen: these two crazy kids might just be giving it another go!
The couple had a good long talk with their pastor that lasted four hours. They talked about their issues, which include fame whoring and a lack of moxie, and, as TMZ says, “the two expressed respect and love for each other … but both acknowledged a lot is wrong with their relationship.”
At this point, Kris still thinks that they have a chance, but Kim still isn’t sure. But the point is that there’s still hope! So rejoice, friends, for the romance of the century (after Doug and Courtney, duh) isn’t over just yet!
November 7, 2011 at 5:30 am by Emily
Here is a sad admission: I DON’T LAUGH THAT OFTEN. But this? This Saturday Night Live sketch from last night’s episode? Oh, I belly-laughed. I may have even guffawed. It was terrible, and I’m sorry. Except for, Kris Jenner is kind of the worst ever, and boy oh boy, did I laugh at Kristen Wiig’s version of Kris Jenner. Meanwhile, Andy Samberg’s limited talents (sorry!) were perfectly utilized in his portrayal of Kris Humphries. Oh, my God, and then Taran Killam as Bruce Jenner. Oh, my God. Just watch. (Charlie Day hosted.)
No, I do feel bad for laughing. I feel awful, actually: Kim Kardashian has reportedly flown to Minnesota to love-tackle (that’s a basketball term, right?) estranged husband Kris Humphries. Kim feels she was brash in ditching her husband of 72 days, evidently, and while this doesn’t signal a real reconciliation, I’m actually relieved that Kim is at least sort of trying.
November 6, 2011 at 11:15 am by Jenn
Once upon a time there was a girl named Sarah, and that girl was engaged to this guy, like, a decade ago. After what some might call a “mistake” of a relationship for a large variety of reasons, the girl broke up with the guy and moved on with her life. But that engagement ring, given on a past Christmas Eve, sat in her jewelry box, burning a hole through its bottom and into the dresser it sat upon. She thought it was pretty and stuff, but knew she had no reason to keep it, and so she decided to give it back. (She actually threw it at him a week after deciding she didn’t want it anymore. Heard he had a hard time finding it, too.) Sarah never saw her former fiance ever again.
A few years after that, Sarah took a day job as a manager at a call center. She hated the job, but liked all of the people she worked with. Especially this one girl; she was totally cool. One day, Sarah’s new-ish friend came into work all aglow with excitement and happiness. Sarah’s new-ish friend had gotten engaged the night before! All excited for her friend, Sarah asked to see the ring. When Sarah saw the ring, a funny chord was struck and she realized that her friend’s ring looked really, really familiar. Because Sarah’s friend was such a new friend, she didn’t really know much about her background, who she dated, or anything else beyond the fact that they worked at the same place and her friend lived about an hour away. On a whim, Sarah asked her friend if she had a photo of her fiance, and boy did she ever. As it turns out, *Sarah’s new friend was engaged to Sarah’s old fiance and happened to be wearing Sarah’s old engagement ring as her own.
So maybe that’s why Kim Kardashian‘s not giving the ring back – maybe she’s just so concerned that it’s going to wind up on some other girl’s finger one day, and then she won’t be The One Girl Who Got the 20 Carat Diamond Engagement Ring That One Time anymore. Or, you know, maybe she’s just a classless hoe. I’d like to go out on a limb thinking the latter, me.
*Sarah’s new friend eventually found out about her then-fiance’s, um, “frugality,” and later ended breaking up with him for possibly-related (or who knows, unrelated) reasons. The end!
November 4, 2011 at 9:30 am by Sarah
“I don’t think I’m ready to go into details of what went on in my marriage.”
Kim Kardashian on (what else) her brand-new divorce. What I say, now, as if there was any question to begin with, is that this whole damn thing is BULLSHIT. You know the kind, stinking, steaming-in-the-autumn-air pile of DUNG.
I mean, first the reason was “private,” then the reason was because she felt rushed and pressured, and now there’s supposed to be some kind of big scandal behind the actual reason she dumped her poor, clueless troll like Khloe’s used Chinese takeout boxes? Now she’s insinuating that “details” actually happened in this two-month-long marriage? What the hell kind of “details” were there time for? Please. If this doesn’t completely REEK of publicity stunt, I’ll eat my dad-gum laptop.
Also, it’s amazing how Tums really do squash heartburn instantly, because after reading this quote I seriously threw up in my mouth a little bit. Thanks, GlaxoSmithKline, you’re totally the most.
November 3, 2011 at 5:30 am by Sarah
I know you guys are probably already sick to death of hearing about Kim Kardashian and her non-committal labia majora, but it’s just so damned entertaining to watch this chick backtrack again and again. Like, this for example:
“This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. I see all of the support and I am so thankful for my fans, friends and family who are helping me through this difficult time.
I am trying not to read all the different media reports but it’s hard not to see all the negative ones. First and foremost, I married for love. I can’t believe I even have to defend this. I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show! I share so much of my life on a reality show, that contemplating whether to even film my wedding was a tough decision to make, and maybe it turned out to not be the smartest decision. But it’s who I am! We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments. These were all real moments. That’s what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open!
Everyone that knows me knows that I’m a hopeless romantic! I love with all of my heart and soul. I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon. I believed in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have. I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.
I’m being honest here and I hope you respect my courage because this isn’t easy to go through. But I do know that I have to follow my heart. I never had the intention of hurting anybody and I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions, and for taking everyone on this journey with me. It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for.
There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this. I’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my wedding and I’ll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation.
I’m sorry if I have hurt anyone, but my dad always told me to follow my heart and I believe now that I really am.”
So, OK. I’m glad dead daddy dearest is guiding Kim as her inner light and telling her not to settle for anything less than a fairy tale. That’s sweet, right? But see, where I come from, chicks who go around acting like that end up alone and some? Well, some are even committed to asylums. Or at least intensive psychotherapy.
Come on now, Kim. WE SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU.
November 2, 2011 at 4:30 am by Sarah
And really, can you blame him? Poor Kris Humphries didn’t even know that his true love, Kim Kardashian, was actually filing for divorce until yesterday morning, just a few hours before the rest of us found out. And, understandably, Kris is very, very sad about things.
Here’s his official statement:
“I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce … I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”
Bless his giant heart, right? Seriously though, I did feel bad for Kris for about three seconds after I read this, but then I thought “wait, it’s these people.” Then I shook my head and thought about how I should paint my fingernails next*.
Here’s a bonus fact for your enjoyment: Kim and Kris first met on Halloween of 2010. That means that these crazy kids met, courted, “fell in love,” got married, and filed for divorce all in one wacky, busy year. Oh, the life of a Kardashian, can I get an “amen”?
*I’ve been water marbling, and it’s super neat!