Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Katy Perry

Oh: Russell Brand Isn’t Allowed to Attend the People’s Choice Awards

photo of russell brand likes cats pics

I have already gone on and on about how sad the Katy Perry/Russell Brand split is. It is so depressing.

This bears repeating, though: I think the couple is crazy-in-love with each other. Whatever ongoing fight they are in is so stupid.

But this? This is so much worse. The UK Mirror has the deets:

In a bizarre twist of events [Russell Brand,] the Brit comic, 36, has been mysteriously uninvited from a star-studded awards show to avoid a confrontation with estranged wife Katy.

Katy, 27, is collecting a gong for her hit album, singles and tour at the People’s Choice Awards in LA on January 11 where she’s up for seven awards, including Favourite Female Artist.

It will be her first official job since Russ filed for divorce after just 14 months together and both her and Russell had initially been invited.

A source said: “It will be Katy’s big night, a prelude to the Grammys, and now Russell has been strangely left off the list of attendees for the high-profile event.

“It was always going to be awkward for organisers in any case after their shock decision to split. But in order to avoid any awkwardness or confrontation Russ is no longer on the list.”

This. Is. So Awkward. Seriously. This whole thing used to be depressing; now, on top of being depressing, it is awkward! This has become high school crap. What is even going on, here?

I mean, how is disinviting somebody’s still-husband less awkward than simply letting the two people organically run into each other? People, am I wrong?

Another Day, Another “Why the Perry/Brand Marriage Ended” Theory

photo of katy perry picture and russell brand photo married divorced pics
Obviously, this marriage was doomed right from the start. And all of these “reasons” that the two are splitting? I’m willing, at this point, to bet that they’re ALL right.

From Us Magazine via Hollywood Life:

“Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her,” a source says. “When things got bad, if they got a roll in the hay, they were always better after.” But the source goes on to say that despite Katy’s attempts to keep the spark alive in the bedroom by scheduling monthly date nights at swanky hotels, it was “never enough.”

Russell’s sexually fetishes were also reportedly hard for Katy to keep up with. “He likes dirty things,” the source says. “He really gets off on one particular porno with a guy in a wheelchair. He’s attracted to things he can’t imagine happening to him.” Adding that Russell had a closet full of sex toys.

Well hell. You marry a sex addict and you’re, what, surprised that it doesn’t work out in the bedroom after the novelty wore off? Good Lord! If these guys hadn’t split up as soon as they did, I’d have given it another six months before we had another Tiger Woods-like scandal on our hands, complete with seedy porn stars and toothless prostitutes.

Here’re some quotes from Russell’s sex addict “past”:

“To this day, I feel a fierce warmth for women that have the same disregard for the social conventions of sexual protocol as I do. I love it when I meet a woman and her sexuality is dancing across her face, so it’s apparent that all we need to do is nod and find a cupboard.”

“I like threesomes with two women, not because I’m a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I’m a romantic. I’m looking for “The One.” And I’ll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.”

“I can’t believe I used to have sex 20 times a week, especially now I’m married. My peak was probably five a day. It was a bit much. I was always respectful though.”

They say a leopard doesn’t change its spots and all of that business, you know. Still surprised, Katy?

How Katy and Russell Spent New Year’s Eve

Photo: Katy Perry attends the 3rd Annual Change Begins Within benefit with husband Russell Brand

I have to tell you guys: I have never been so depressed over a celebrity uncoupling as I have been over Katy Perry and Russell Brand‘s pending divorce. Like, I was pretty sad when Lisa Loeb and Dweezil Zappa broke up, pretty sad about the Tim Robbins/Susan Sarandon split, and pretty sad about Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon filing for divorce—that last one coincided with my own breakup, so it was very yikes, is there no true love? Is there no hope for the rest of us?

The erstwhile couple spent the holidays apart after a huge spat, as we all know; Russell Brand filed the paperwork on December 30. So how did Katy and Russell each spend New Year’s Eve?

Katy spent New Year’s looking chipper at a party in West Hollywood (she was “in a great mood,” according to the New York Post). Evidently, Mrs. Brand spent most of the party chatting and dancing with a “long-haired man” who, according to reports, was a “dead-ringer” for her husband. Oh, dear.

And how did Russell spend New Year’s Eve? Was he with some busty blonde supermodel? Perhaps he partied with some tattooed female rock stars?


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Oh, Wait – Here’s More Reasons That Russell Brand Dumped Katy Perry

photo of katy perry and russell brand pictures photos divorce pics
Ooh, ooh! From the Mirror:

Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry because she refused to settle down and have his children, the Sunday Mirror can reveal. The couple had a series of huge bust-ups over her partying and boozy lifestyle in the run-up to the collapse of their 14-month marriage. Comedian Russell, 36, has beaten booze and drugs addictions and wanted to shun the Hollywood clubbing scene and start a family with the Firework singer. But Katy, 27, didn’t want to become a “Hollywood housewife”. A source close to the couple said Katy took off her wedding ring and handed it back to Russell after one last devastating row a week before Christmas. The I Kissed A Girl star thought she had called her husband’s bluff and he would come running back. But it was the final straw for Russell, who simply shrugged his shoulders and flew home to his mother Barbara. The couple spent Christmas 7,000 miles apart – Katy in Hawaii, Russell in Cornwall – before he instructed his lawyers to start divorce proceedings on Friday. … It remains unclear whether the decision to end the marriage was mutual. … When Katy took her ring off he decided it was best he walked away. … “Katy was surprised that Russell didn’t come running back but she had met her match. They are both strong-willed people and there has been a lot of game-playing going on.”

So, OK. I can totally see this. Katy thinks she’s got this big, bad-assed music career going for her, when the reality is that she’s probably got another few years, tops, before she’s a Hollywood has-been that went the route of crap-singer-that-had-a-decent-stage-show-so-that’s-why-she-lasted-so-long, and maybe that fact is slowly beginning to dawn on her. Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to settle for kids just yet, because she knew that her 15 minutes were going to be up soon – and probably very soon, at that. Her time has been running out for awhile now, and she more than likely wants to make the best of what she’s done and stretch it out for as long as she’s able to.

However, as for Russell “really wanting kids,” I’m not entirely sure I believe that’s the primary reason for cutting out on his marriage. If he “really wanted kids,” and “really loved his wife,” then maybe he would have, I don’t know, compromised and gave it another year or so to see how Katy‘s career panned (or didn’t pan) out? I’m definitely not siding at all with Katy in any of this, nor am I siding with Brand, because aside from his humor, I don’t think there’s much appeal in either of them, but let’s be realistic. This marriage was over before it began, regardless of the reason, and the fact that it even lasted this long is a testament in trying to stick it out, I guess.

Good riddance one way or the other, I say.

Russell Brand Filed for Divorce as A Favor to Katy Perry

A photo of Katy Perry and Russell Brand

As it turns out, Katy Perry wasn’t at all blindsided when Russell Brand filed for divorce, as TMZ had originally said. No, it looks like Katy was well aware of what was happening, and she even asked Russell to file the papers.

“But why didn’t Katy do it herself?” you might be wondering. “Was she too heartbroken to file the papers? Could she not bear to do the deed herself? Was she too drunk to sign some papers?” All good guesses, friends, but they’re all wrong. Really, Katy didn’t file the papers herself because she didn’t want to disappoint her parents.

From TMZ:

Katy Perry WANTED Russell Brand to file the court papers in their divorce … because she didn’t want to upset her religious parents … sources connected to the former couple tell TMZ.

We’re told … Katy and Russell knew the relationship was on the rocks a couple of months ago — but didn’t want to give up on the marriage without making a concerted effort to work things out.

But the effort fell flat … with both sides feeling “it just wasn’t there.”

We’re told both Katy and Russell were on board with the divorce a few weeks ago — but they didn’t want to be in town when the papers were filed … so he went back to England and she booked it to Hawaii.

Since Katy’s parents are evangelical Christians, we’re told she didn’t want to be the one to “officially” end the marriage by filing the docs … since she was raised to believe divorce is wrong.

“OMG, Russ, pleeeeeeeeeeease?!” Katy asked Russell, anxiously clutching her phone covered in Hello Kitty stickers and rhinestones. “Could you just do me this one solid? You don’t understand, Mom and Dad would be so mad if I were to physically sign papers to end this marriage that I jumped into way too fast! Pretty please? Ok, I gotta go show off my cooter and spray somethin’ out my boobies!”

That’s how Katy Perry talks in my head, and I’m pretty sure that’s how this happened in real life. The thing is, I can’t tell if it’s my current, sort of irrational hatred of Katy Perry, or if this is actually completely ridiculous. The only thing I can tell is that Russell Brand is still a good dude for helping her out.

TMZ also has some insight on why this marriage ultimately didn’t work out, just in case there was any confusion:

According to our sources, Katy and Russell were initially head over heels for each other – each fascinated to be with someone who was an extreme opposite.

But we’re told the two began a regime of constant bickering after they got married — often in front of people at clubs and awards shows. They’re both very stubborn and neither would easily back down.

Our sources tell us … because of the friction and their schedules, they never spent long periods of time with each other.

One big bone of contention  … Russell was much more of a homebody than Katy.  Katy loved going out and partying, while Russell (who is sober) didn’t enjoy the scene at all. We’re told he would often insist on leaving places early and asking her to come with … which would trigger an argument.

But we’re told … as the dust settles, neither hates the other — far from it.   There’s no bad blood between them, and neither of them believes the other cheated.

As one person put it, “It was just a bad pairing.”

Amen, One Person.  Amen.

Russell Brand Files for Divorce from Katy Perry

A photo of Katy Perry and Russell Brand

I thought that maybe in February or something we’d hear about this divorce, but no, not quite. As the world and I have been saying all month, something has been off between Katy Perry and Russell Brand here lately (and I don’t just mean their wedding rings). It turns out that everyone was right, because news just broke that Russell has filed for divorce:

In the docs, filed in L.A., Brand cites “irreconcilable differences.” The two were married Oct. 23, 2010 in India.  They have no kids.

The divorce docs say there are “community property assets” — it’s a sign there might not be a prenup, or if there is one it doesn’t cover all of the earnings and other assets they accumulated.

The docs do not give a date the couple separated.

Russell has released a statement, claiming, “Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.”

Russell proposed to Katy in India on New Year’s Eve 2009 — nearly two years ago … to the day.

Sources had told TMZ the couple was having problems, evidenced by the fact that they spent Christmas apart and neither was wearing a wedding ring.

Although it’s not 100%, based on what we now know it appears Brand may have blindsided Perry by filing the divorce petition.

Hey, since this is one of the least shocking divorces of all time, can we skip everything about how tragic it is when true love dies and move right along to the next stage? Which is, of course, who are these crazy kids going to hook up with next? Personally, I think Katy is going to take the time, and that she needs to take the time, to be single and crazy and wasted. Katy needs to party this one out. Meanwhile, do you think Russell will go back to his old ways and sleep with everyone? I’d like to think not. I hope, as I said yesterday, that Russell finds himself a nice, smart girl to settle down and have his babies like Katy had no interest in doing. Doesn’t that sound sweet?

Katy Perry and Russell Brand Aren’t Wearing Their Wedding Rings

A photo of Katy Perry

Uh-oh, everybody. Remember yesterday when I told you about how Russell Brand wanted to take his lady love, Katy Perry, home to London for the holidays? And then Katy was all “f*ck you,” but Russell was all “no, f*ck YOU!” and then they spent Christmas apart? Well, things are looking worse, because, as you can see in those pictures above, both Katy and Russell aren’t wearing their wedding rings.

Katy’s picture came out first, and when I saw it, I didn’t make too much of it. Sure, she was in Hawaii because she blew off her husband on Christmas, but she was still in Hawaii, and if you’re going to be swimming around in the ocean, I think it’s totally fair to remove an undoubtedly insanely expensive wedding ring for safekeeping. But Russell wasn’t in any ocean. He was just strolling around London in a cute sweater, an occasion that provides no such easy excuse for the missing ring.

Word on the street is that things started getting “tense” for the couple towards the beginning of the month and that Katy is “a mess” because of it. In my opinion, that’s ridiculous. As I said yesterday, I think Katy’s been behaving selfishly, and she’s way too immature about so many things. If she actually is a mess, it’s because she’s been treating Russell like shit and Russell finally refused to take it. That’s how the whole thing sounded to me, anyway: Katy’s been touring for so long and Russell accepted that, but now that Katy’s done with her tour and she still apparently doesn’t care to spend that much time with her husband, things aren’t ok anymore. It sounds like Katy is That Girl who acts completely shocked and dismayed that someone decided to call her out on her bad behavior. “What?” Katy would ask scathingly as she narrowed her eyes. “You want me to respect you and spend time with you? Are you new?”

Is it too much to ask for that this couple goes ahead and files for divorce so that Russell can find someone more his speed? Someone who cares enough about him to, I don’t know, spend holidays with him and not hit him for being himself? As some lovely and wise commenters, Mireee and Nicole Peach, said yesterday, “Russell is so articulate and hilarious” and “Team Russell!” Ain’t no truer truths, ladies.

Oh, but here’s the silver lining: I’m pretty sure Katy’s not pregnant. The first time we raised the question was back towards the end of November, and I think if we were speculating back then, she’d definitely be showing by now. Right?

Images courtesy of People