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Katy Perry

0Katy Perry Is Doing A Whole Lot of Talking About Russell Brand

A photo of Katy Perry

She also has crazy/scary/dead/drugged out eyes. But let’s just focus on that first thing for right now, all right?

Katy Perry is working on promoting her tour documentary, which, by the way, I’m definitely going to see. She’s doing a lot of interviews, and she seems to be focusing a lot on the footage that shows her dealing with the breakup of her marriage with Russell Brand. Remember that interview that she did earlier this week where she discusses how she had to bend over to cry so she wouldn’t mess up her fake eyelashes? Yeah, she’s been saying a lot of things like that. Poor Katy, I guess.

Here are a few things that Katy had to say on her appearance on The Tonight Show last night:

“Just because you’re in the spotlight doesn’t mean you get to dodge the curveballs — they’re actually bigger,” the Wide Awake singer told Leno. “I think if you were to see the movie and it was completely avoided, you’d think, ‘Hmm that’s strange, I know something else happened in her life last year.’”

Katy said she wanted to handle the split “delicately with the most integrity I could,  and show, ‘Yeah I’m going through the same situation that half of America goes through and somehow I landed on my feet.’ So you don’t have to lay down and die like you think.”

The Firework singer added that “it wasn’t always exciting to watch those unflattering scenes where I’m crying and having an intense moment, but I think people will relate to me more seeing me at my lowest point and now at my highest point.”

And just in case you want to hear one more thing about Katy Perry crying, People has another story about the Part of Me documentary:

In her new movie Part of Me, Perry, 27, pulls back the curtain to discuss why her marriage with Brand, 37, fell apart.

The biggest strain on their relationship, she reveals, was her busy touring schedule. As scenes in the movie show, Perry used days off from her grueling world tour to take side trips to see Brand. Yet the time apart still took its toll.

In one scene, Perry is seen sobbing uncontrollably backstage – minutes before show time. Eventually, she rallies. “Start time,” she says before hitting the stage.

Perry also hints that her rocketing music career was a source of tension between her and Brand.

“I thought to myself, ‘When I find that person that’s going to be my life partner, I won’t ever have to choose [between the partner and my career] … they won’t be threatened or have weird motives,” Perry says. “Then I started to realize, that’s not true. That fairytale I had is not true for me right now.”

The pop star says she did everything she could to save her marriage. “I have that same belief system with everything, from career to my life to my personal life, everything. And I will do everything it takes to not fail. And I did everything it took but it still failed.”

What “weird motives” is Katy saying that Russell Brand had? And yeah, I’m sure she did “everything it took” to make her marriage work, except, you know, spending time with her husband.

Have I mentioned how excited I am to see this movie?

June 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Katy Perry

1Katy Perry Has No Regrets

A photo of Katy Perry

Uh, no offense to Katy, but if she thinks that she doesn’t have any regrets, then she might want to rethink things. I can think of five things off the top of my head that I would regret if I were Katy Perry, and that only includes things like burgundy lipstick and stupid dresses. If we were to get into the serious stuff, then I don’t even know how many regrettable things we would find.

But it doesn’t matter, because I’m not Katy Perry. Katy Perry is Katy Perry, and in this interview, boy, is she ever:

On tears and fake eyelashes: “There were times when what was going on in my personal life was so overwhelming that I had to bend over to let those tears fall straight out of my eyes and not my false lashes just as I’m about to go up on that ramp and sing ‘Teenage Dream.’”

On religion: “I’m no poster child for Christianity.”

On honesty: “Like how I write my songs, honesty has always worked for me,” she says. “So if it ain’t broke, why f-cking fix it?”

On her divorce: “I still believe in love and marriage. I’ve just learned lessons along the way. I regret nothing.”

She identifies with Kim Kardashian: Perry adds that, like Kim Kardashian’s ill-fated 72-day marriage to NBA up-and-comer Kris Humphries, “Nobody knows what really happened except the two people who are in it.”

She also said that she’s going to start her own record label, which sounds just wonderful.  Since we don’t hear nearly enough Katy Perry songs on the radio, it’s really exciting to know that we could also start hearing songs discovered and approved of by Katy Perry on the radio.  Can’t wait!

Also, how long until Kim Kardashian starts trying to make best friends with Katy? Will it air on this season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, do you think?

June 21, 2012 at 7:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Katy Perry

5Katy Perry Transforms into Her True Self in Her New Music Video

Oh gosh, you guys. This is excellent. Do you remember how Katy Perry used to be all cotton candy and whipped cream titties, and then that whole divorce thing happened and she started dressing very differently? You remember, the awful dark makeup and the scowling and all the black dresses? And we were all “LOL, Katy Perry is going through her dark phase,” like she was some 13-year-old girl who just discovered that the world is a cold, cruel place and no one understands her? It’s not a LOL anymore. That’s really what she’s been doing.

Just go to around the 0:30 mark. She takes off her pink wig, looks at her pink, glittery eyeshadow in the mirror, then BOOM, she’s wide awake! She got some Manic Panic from the Hot Topic and some lipstick from her trashy older sister’s caboodle, she piled on the eyeliner, and she got a f-cking cape, because now she’s wide awake. She’s hip to the real world. She’s not some stupid baby anymore, ok? She can go to the mall by herself!

Seriously, I did that whole routine when I was 13. The dyed hair, the makeup, the grumpy disposition. But Katy Perry is 27 years old. She has no excuse.

But hey, what do you think?

June 19, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Katy Perry

1Love It or Leave It: Katy Perry, The Flapper

A photo of Katy Perry

You know what? I kind of love it. I know, I know, it’s pure costume – the dress, the shoes, the hair, the accessories, it’s all 1920′s as hell – but I enjoy costumey every now and then. Besides, if I have to pick between this and that completely ridiculous psedo-goth nonsense she’s been doing for the past month, the 20′s win, hands down.

And here’s a bonus bit of Katy Perry news: she’s being considered for a role in a Freddie Mercury biopic. Ugh:

Katy Perry is reportedly being lined up to playQueen legend Freddie Mercury’s girlfriend in a new film.

According to The Mirror, K-Pez is being considered for the role of Mary Austin and if successful, will star alongside funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen who is set to portray Freddie.

Baron Cohen is said to be already working with remaining Queen members Brian May and Roger Taylor on the biopic – which is apparently due to start filming next year.

A pal of Perry’s is quoted by the newspaper as saying that the Teenage Dream hitmaker would be thrilled to play Austin, adding: “Katy would love to be in the film as she is such a huge fan.

“Katy has a similar look to Mary and would be a brilliant foil to Sacha.”

Mercury famously dated Mary in the 1970′s for six years before admitting that he was bisexual, causing the couple to separate.

Freddie later claimed that despite having several male partners, he remained close to Austin calling her his “common-law” wife.

Before his death in 1991 after a battle with HIV, Freddie said: “All my lovers asked me why they couldn’t replace Mary. But it’s simply ­impossible.”

Katy has previously praised Mercury, describing him as her ‘musical idol’, while also dressing up as the iconic singer at her birthday party in 2008.

The film about Freddie is being produced by Academy Award winner Graham King, with the plot focusing on Mercury’s rise to fame, his time in Queen and the band’s historic Live Aid performance in 1985.

Am I the only one who remembers that Katy Perry is a horrible actor? Because I feel that way sometimes. Whenever the subject comes up, I feel like I’m in some weird alternate universe where everything is the exact same as it is in this universe, except no one realizes what a shitty actress she is. And then I get confused because everything and everyone looks the same, and everything seems completely normal except for the fact that no one is discussing this very important issue. And then I’m forced to find her Proactiv commercial and say “look, world, she can’t even convincingly discuss acne for two minutes.” It’s too much for one person to take.

June 14, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Katy Perry

2Katy Perry is Always Classy

Oh man. Guys, I’m going to be completely blunt here: Katy Perry is stupid. And I don’t mean she’s lacking intellect (which, she might very well be, but I don’t want to know her well enough to determine whether or not she’s got the smarts), I mean she’s stoopid. She’s obnoxious, and she’s way, way over the top with … well, pretty much everything she does—and not in a good, cutesy way, either.

Katy recently interviewed with radio station Wild 94.9, where she discussed sex, Rihanna (and having sex with Rihanna), and sex (but not having sex). Yawn, boring; so predictable. The thing that stood out the most in this clip, however, was the fact that, as I said before, Katy’s one-on-one behavior is way over the top, especially when she knows a camera’s rolling. She’s like one of those people who tries to be funny, and looks at her company out of the corner of her eye to make sure they’re admiring her and laughing at her. Honestly, it kind of makes me want to vomit a little bit.

If you can’t—or don’t want to—watch the above clip, here are some of the highlights.

—Katy says “thug life” at least three times during the interview. No joke.
—”I just twerk like I’m crazy.”
—”I like a good boy, but sometimes I get bored.”
—”I’m a good Christian girl. … I would never have sex to my own song.”
—When asked if she and Rihanna were ever going to collaborate on new music, Katy said, “No, but we’re going to have sex.”

On the whole, it was almost four minutes of pure hell, and that was with my eyes closed.

Katy said at one point, “… You’re a real person; you’ve got real problems,” and yes, guys, this is something I definitely have to agree with. She makes a valid point. She does have real problems.

Sorry, but I’d have to take Gwyneth Paltrow over this chick any day. Yeah, Gwyneth’s way self-obsessed and stuck so far up her own ass, but at least she doesn’t pretend she isn’t. LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

June 7, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Katy Perry

4Stars Without Makeup: Katy Perry Loses Her Mask

A photo of Katy Perry

I say that Katy Perry has a mask, of course, because that’s always what she has on her face whenever we see her. She piles on tons and tons of foundation, concealer, false eyelashes, and lately, she’s taken a liking to that god-awful dark lipstick as well. She wears so much makeup, I bet she’s wearing makeup that we don’t even know exists yet.

Just in case you need a refresher, here’s what Katy Perry’s face usually looks like:

A photo of Katy Perry

But in a new promo for her super special tour documentary, Part of Me, we get to see Katy bouncing around with no makeup. Or, ok, probably still the foundation, but this is way, way more of Katy’s actual face than we’ve ever seen before. Except for that time that Russell Brand posted that one picture on Twitter, the one where she’d just woken up and looked confused and/or mortified. Remember that? That was probably the beginning of the end.

I think she looks like a cute girl, but she’s completely average. Like, I can think of a number of ladies off the top of my head that I know personally who I think are prettier than Katy. Not that that’s a bad thing: on the contrary, I think it’s awesome. It’ll show all the young girls that flock to this movie that you don’t have to be natural perfection to be a superstar.

But hey, did you see the peppermint titties? That’s the Katy we know and love!

Image courtesy of Celebitchy

May 29, 2012 at 4:30 am by Emily
Filed Under: Katy Perry