Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Katy Perry

Katy Perry and John Mayer: Still Doing It

photo of katy perry and john mayer pictures
See these two? It’s just getting gross. Now, I’ve never been a fan of John Mayer‘s look, either before or after his new 1980′s country-and-western-style Hee Haw garb of late, but John Mayer, guys, is just not attractive. Like, not at all. He looks like he’s got some lice chilling in that long, pulled back Johnny Depp-wannabe hair, and I would imagine that he’s all sorts of marshmallow soft underneath the many layers of skanky t-shirts he wears, and while there’s nothing particularly wrong with that, it’s wrong because of his face. His face makes it wrong.

This is the two of them at a mutual friend’s pool party earlier this month, and I think it’s a safe thing to say that these two are an “item,” if you can stand to call them that, too.

Wonder what it’s like for John to be dating a “real” woman, and not someone like Taylor Swift. One thing’s for sure … at least we know that if and when Katy and John give up the ghost, that Katy won’t be writing any songs lambasting John.

Oh wait ….

Katy Perry Mooned Everyone at a Water Park This Weekend

photo of katy perry water slide mooning pictures
So, I’m sure you can imagine that a photo of a celebrity in this kind of situation will always, always render some pretty interesting results, and in this case, it was more than just a, “Ha, Katy Perry wiped out.” No, this was a full-on, “OMG LOL LOOK AT KATY PERRY‘S BARE ASS,” because that’s exactly what happened.

I won’t bore you with a lot of details, but I will tell you that when I saw these pictures this morning, I literally laughed myself off the chair, which isn’t too hard a feat to do these days, because, on a side note, I had the funniest thing ever happen to me this past weekend, and it’s been really, really easy to giggle at nothing (especially fully-exposed asses) since then.

So, my best friend of two decades came down to visit me (seriously, we’ve been friends since 1st grade), and we all decided to go out on Saturday night to have dinner and a drink and do some karaoke (because I love karaoke, dammit). My parents thought it would be a fun thing to come, too, so they did, and so we did, too, and halfway through the night, a younger kid approached me and said, “Wow, blah blah blah you have a pretty good voice, you should sing this one,” and he gestured to something in The Book. And, joking around, I said, “I’m not going to sing anything else ’til my mother gets up there and sings something!” And the kid turned around, looked at my friend, and said “Well, come on, mom, get up there and do something!” To which my best friend—who is the same age as I am—positively exploded, saying, “You think I’m her mother?! Her mother? Oh hell no.” She then turned around and looked at my husband and my actual mother and cried, “Look up a song called GO TO HELL so I can sing it just for this kid.”

Guys, I laughed so hard at the entire situation that I thought I was having a seizure. The whole world stopped (including any and all breathing that might have been happening during that ninety-second period), and for an entire minute, all I could do was clutch my stomach and laugh silently. The kid … I don’t even know where he went, because I was too busy trying to keep my insides together, but needless to say, the guy didn’t approach us for the rest of the evening.

Anyway. It’s over, and I guess you’d’ve had to have been there to get it, but hey. Funny stories, right? Jump in to see Katy Perry’s full-on moon, because FUNNY STORIES.

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Oh Noes, Katy Perry Smokes

photo of katy perry smoking cigarettes pictures
Did you guys know that Katy Perry smokes? Because she does. And here’s the proof, if you didn’t see the photos that we posted of Katy Perry at Coachella back in April.

Whatever, though. It’s Katy’s business if she wants to do stuff like this, and it’s also Katy’s business if she, you know, should happen to put a gag order on Russell Brand, banning him from talking about her anymore. Because she did!

From the UK’s Daily Star:

KATY Perry is seeking a gagging order to stop Russell Brand speaking about their failed marriage in public.

The irate pop star has instructed her lawyers to stop her ex-husband from discussing their doomed relationship in TV interviews.

The celebrity couple are thought to have agreed to keep a dignified silence when agreeing terms of their quickie divorce in January.

And Katy, 27, now wants that enforced by the law after Russell, 37, failed to live up to his end of the agreement.

According to friends of the Part Of Me singer, the final straw came last week when the comic made jokes about their sex life in a radio interview with Howard Stern.

A pal told the Daily Star Sunday: “Katy is fed up with Russell constantly making reference to their marriage in interviews.

“While it’s mainly harmless and often even complimentary, she’s sick to death of his comments being splashed all over the news and magazines.

“Katy went berserk after the interview with Howard Stern.

“She called lawyers and told them to put a gagging order on Russ to prevent him from speaking about her in public again.

“Katy vowed never to reveal the ins and outs of their marriage breakdown or speak about Russell in any way.

“All she wants is the same in return.”

So, in short, it’s OK for Katy Perry to do all that talking about her and Russell’s dissolved marriage, but it’s not OK for him to talk about their dissolved marriage? Why, because he’s actually kind of funny, and she’s not? Because I kind of think that’s why.

Katy Perry and John Mayer Are Getting Serious Now

photo of katy perry and john mayer pictures
… So serious that they’re having overnighters. Gosh. I never even thought that these two would be sleeping together by now, let alone SLEEPING TOGETHER. Gross. According to E!, they’ve been having sleepovers for awhile now:

“She has been having sleepovers there,” says a source. “It is very private and they’ve been sneaking in and out. It has been going on for a while.”

They probably only have eyes for each other, but should these rumored lovebirds want some companionship, Mayer’s house is just down the road from E!’s own Kris and Bruce Jenner’s Hidden Hills home.

I’m still not entirely sure I buy this. See, John‘s got this faux-deep side to him that he thinks attracts every woman known to man (and in the past, it … well, it has), but all of the women that John Mayer’s attracted have had at least three or four brain cells in their heads. Katy? Well. I’m not even sure she’s got that many. What’s in it for her, aside from fabricated mental and emotional stimulation? God only knows.

The Katy Perry With John Mayer Thing is Apparently Real

photo of katy perry and john mayer leaving chateau marmont pictures
Guess who was caught leaving the Chateau Marmont late last night? Together, that is. Just the two of them. In that car. So it’s a definite that they’re having sex (and probably in the vehicle above. As we speak).

Reps for both have not returned phone calls asking if the romance is for real, and I’ll be honest with you—when Emily mentioned it the other day, I was like, “Yeah, HA. Never happen,” but I’m beginning to reconsider my stance on it. Because John Mayer will definitely bone someone to the likes of Katy Perry, and Katy Perry … well, she’s got some f-cking weird-ass taste in men. This could probably be happening, right under our unsuspecting noses.

Here’s a video from TMZ if you want some live action. Ugh.

Image courtesy of the Huff Po

Love It or Leave It: Katy Perry’s New-ish Hair

photo of katy perry new hair pictures
Hey, look! Maybe Katy Perry’s not going to be so dark for a little while, because she’s almost looking like her old, normal self! Remember this fresh-faced young lady with a natural hair color from a few years back?:

photo of katy perry pictures
Right? Almost back to her (literal and theoretical) roots! Are you guys happy, or did you prefer the dark goth-y Katy who everyone imagined would be having dark, sacrificial sex with John Mayer? Right in the middle of the post here, I’m gonna lay it out on the line—Katy’s hair: Love It or Leave It?

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And moving forward, Katy recently spoke to Elle about love and stuff, where she talked about looking for love and wanting the whole nine yards of being loved, courted, wooed, and claimed. From the Daily Mail via the Daily Mirror:

‘I’m a woman who likes to be courted, strongly. Never say never, I guess you’d say. I’ll let love take the lead on that.’

On the contrary, Katy recently told the Daily Mirror that she would make it to her fairytale ending without a Prince Charming, as she is the only person that can make herself happy.

‘I’ve learnt I’m in a very modern fairy tale. But I also know I don’t need the Prince Charming to have a happy ending. I can make the happy ending myself.’

She continued: ‘Being in love is the dream. But the reality of making it work is not like the movies.’

Aww. She really is a true romantic. Come on. Quoting Justin Bieber? ‘Never say never’? Well. It looks like Katy might find real love after all.