Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kanye West

Kanye West has a special guest in the studio

kanye west north west

Okay, as much as I can’t stand her parents, you have to admit that little North West is absolutely adorable. And she’s getting so big! Kim Kardashian posted this photo of his special guest with Kanye West in the studio online over the weekend in an attempt to prove that he and Kim do actually spend time with their child. I do have a slight concern that poor North never seems to be smiling, but would you?

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Kim Kardashian is a dinosaur, Kanye West is a blowfish

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Don’t worry if you were as confused at reading that headline as I was writing it – it’s to be expected, considering who we’re talking about here. In Kanye West‘s new GQ profile, he spouts a lot of bullshit. Par for the course, right? But here’s something you probably didn’t expect: in the interview, he compares Kim Kardashian to a dinosaur (“in a good way”) and himself to a blowfish. I’ll let you read and enjoy:

Why’d you decide to get married?
Saying “Hey, I like Kim” isn’t as inspiring to people as us getting married. And anyone that’s in a relationship knows that in order to get to the point to get married and then to be married and to then carry on, it needs that work put into it. Right now, people look at it and it’s like, “Wow, that’s inspiring.” Meaning that love is infectious. You know, God is infectious—God flowing through us and us being little-baby creators and shit. But His energy and His love and what He wants us to have as people and the way He wants us to love each other, that is infectious. Like they said in Step Brothers: Never lose your dinosaur. This is the ultimate example of a person never losing his dinosaur. Meaning that even as I grew in cultural awareness and respect and was put higher in the class system in some way for being this musician, I never lost my dinosaur.

Kim is this girl who fucking turns me on. I love her. This is who I want to be next to and be around. And then people would try to say, “Well, you know, if you’re a musician, you should be with a musician, and if you want to design, you need to be with a girl from the design world.” I don’t give a fuck about people’s opinions. Because when a kid falls in love with an airplane or a bike or a dinosaur—especially if you’re an only child and it’s not because of the book that the sibling was reading—it’s like, fuck, you mean to tell me that the dinosaurs walked the earth and stuff like that?! That’s amazing! You mean to tell me that these giant multi-ton crafts can fly that fast and that loud, and they can flip, and there’s danger, the possibility of them exploding? That’s fucking cool! You mean to tell me that this girl with this fucking body and this face is also into style, and she’s a nice person, and she has her own money and is family-oriented? That’s just as cool as a fucking fighter jet or dinosaur! And just as rarely seen.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Sorry, I just had to interrupt for that. Kim is as cool as fighter jets and dinosaurs? I just… sorry, I’ll let you continue.

Does that kind of mockery feel like an effort to de-fang you?
But also, there’s no fangs. I don’t have fangs. I’m a porcupine. I’m a blowfish. Like, I’m a—what’s the fish that blows up?

A blowfish?
Yeah. I’m a blowfish. I’m not a shark, I’m a blowfish. So that perfect example about me hitting my head, it’s like a blowfish. I wasn’t coming out of my house going to a paparazzi’s house to attack them. I’m defending my family in front of my own house. I’m defending my name as someone’s screaming something negative at me. That’s a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people.

Whatever, man. I’m always rendered speechless when I hear/read/see what comes out of this guy’s mouth. It’s a whole new level of insanity.

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Kanye West compares paparazzi photos to rape

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Kanye West went on an interminable 20-minute rant onstage at the Wireless Festival in London on Friday night, and during that time he said some crazy ass shit. Sure, he pronounced his long-standing love for Kim Kardashian and claimed that he’s being discriminated against in the fashion industry, but know what else he did? Complain about fame to the point of comparing paparazzi photos to being raped. You know, totally the same thing!

From The Independent:

“I want to bring my family to the movies without 30 motherfuckers following me. Everybody here, they like sex right? Sex is great when you and your partner are like, ‘Hey, this is what we both want to do’.

“But if one of those people don’t want to do that, what is that called? That’s called rape. That is called violation.”

“So if I walk around and say look sir, I’m not feeling so good today, I need some space, can you please not fuck with me today? I need cut-off space, not violation.”

West said that he would “stop every paparazzi one by one” if he wasn’t on probation, adding: “One week I told a paparazzi, ‘Stop talking to me – I might be thinking of something like a new stage show, a new design. You want to shove a camera in my face, you just fucked up my whole trail of thought.”

Zzzzzzzz… I’m so fucking bored of this guy. If Kanye had ever ACTUALLY been raped, I guarantee you he’d be begging for paparazzi to take photos of him in exchange for erasing that experience from his life. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING. No one is physically touching you or violating your body, no one is scarring you for life, no one is overpowering you. You can’t bear paparazzi being in your face? Get a fucking clue – move out of Los Angeles, get a farm in Nebraska or some shit and stay out of the limelight. Don’t marry someone whose entire existence revolves around the paparazzi and being seen and photographed by them 24 hours a day. Fuck off, man.

Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, he went on a SECOND rant on Saturday night on stage – that one, however, only lasted 5 minutes. Apparently the crowd started chanting “We want Drake!” during his bullshit. Poor Drake, however, had to cancel because he’s ill and resting on doctor’s order.

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