Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Kanye West

They actually did it. They named her North.

north by northwest poster

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their baby North. It was a rumor and also a joke that they would do that, and I honestly didn’t think they would. But they did. North West. TMZ got this info from Cedars Sinai, the hospital where Kim gave birth. I picture them getting the info the way Alex and his droogs clubbed people with sticks in A Clockwork Orange.

Fun fact: North was Roger Ebert’s most hated movie.

Twitter is making so many puns right now. Even Voldemort got in on it by tweeting, “So I’m assuming that North West won’t be a One Direction fan?”

Kim Kardashian Breaks Silence on Motherhood: “It’s Crazy”


kim kardashian

Kim Kardashian has never really been a woman of words – at least not words anyone cared about hearing, that is. Still, she’s remained bizarrely silent since giving birth to America’s Kanye West‘s baby on Saturday nearly 5 weeks ahead of schedule, making everyone that much more hungry for details about the nameless child. Well, you’re not getting any of those, and you’re not even really getting a statement from Kimmypie, but what you will get is a sentence she apparently wrote in an email, as dictated by Ryan Seacrest. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, PEOPLE!

From Ryan’s KIIS-FM show:

E! News’ Ken Baker phoned in to On Air with Ryan Seacrest to share that despite giving birth five weeks early, both baby and mom are healthy.

“This was not planned,” he explains. “It came on very quickly and when it was time for the baby to come, it was time for the baby to come.” Ken adds that the moment was so unexpected, “the whole family was [even] dispersed all over the place.”However, Ken confirms: “[The baby] is healthy and Kim is doing well … There’s a great sense of relief. Everyone is very happy for her and Kim is relieved [because] this was a very stressful time.”So now that her daughter is here, how does Kim feel about being a mom?Ryan shared he emailed her moments after she gave birth, saying, “Yay! Congrats my darling, you’re a mommy!” and that she responded: “Cant believe it! It’s so crazy!”

I love that Kim had time to get on email after giving birth. Because, you know, can’t miss those bids pouring in from People and US Weekly – gotta figure out which to sell the kid’s first pictures to, after all.

To be fair, I’m sure motherhood is “crazy”, but she’d better start believing it soon… unless of course the nanny’s are gonna raise this thing, which seems likely. That’s a random nanny, by the way, not The Nanny, Fran Drescher (though how great would that be?). I’ll show myself out.

Baby Kimye Doesn’t Have a Name Yet

kim kardashian kanye west

Apparently Kim Kardashian and Kanye West haven’t been able to agree on a ridiculous enough K-name for their first child, or so the story goes. I have it on good authority that they actually HAVE chosen a name and if our ~source~ is right, it’s horrendous, so let’s hope People got it right and a birth certificate has yet to be printed.

“She was admitted with medical complications and her doctor made the decision that her baby needed to be delivered. Kim had a natural birth,” the source says. “If Kim would have had very serious complications, her doctor would have decided to do an emergency c-section instead.”

As for the baby girl’s name, Kardashian, 32, has mentioned in the past that it will likely begin with a ‘K,’ but so far, she and West, 36, remain undecided, although a second source tells PEOPLE that they are close to a final decision.

“Kim is being very protective of the baby and she says there is no official name,” the first source notes.

LOL I guess we’re gonna keep playing the “Kim delivered naturally” game for the rest of our days, but whatever. I’ve lived with worse lies (suuuuure, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson totally didn’t have an affair during The X-Files!) so I can deal with this. If she did have medical issues that required a C-section – or even if she just chose to have one – why not just say that shit? Ain’t no shame when it comes to the miracle baby.

Any wagers on the name?

Baby Kimye Is a Miracle!


Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s baby girl doesn’t even have a name yet (well, you know what I mean), but she’s already the talk of the town. And by “the town”, of course I mean every gossip site and entertainment publication ever. Even Kim’s sister Khloe has gotten in on the fun, giving a “statement” about what  “miracle” her new niece is and letting us know that more information will be revealed “when the time is right“. So basically, when a magazine writes a check with a number that looks good to them, eh?



Well, that’s lovely. I just want to know what the kid’s name is!

Kanye West Isn’t All That Concerned About Album Leak, His Label Can’t Say the Same

kanye west

Kanye West‘s clusterfuck of a new album, Yeezus, leaked online last week… as albums released after 2005 inevitably have. Everyone expected it and it’s not really a big deal – plenty of studies have shown that leaks don’t actually impact album sales – but Def Jam is piiiiiissed and on the hunt for the person responsible for putting the songs online. Who really cares? Well, not Kanye. While the label is starting a veritable witch hunt for the leaker, Kanye’s sorta just shrugging and probably concentrating on more important things, like demanding croissants and spending time with America’s baby – er, sorry: with his  new daughter, who is in no way a public figure.

From TMZ:

Sources close to Def Jam tell TMZ, leaks like this aren’t uncommon — especially in the digital age — in fact, the record company has a special leaks division that deals with problems just like this.

“Yeezus” was scheduled to drop June 18, but the entire album has already surfaced on the web.

According to sources, the leaks division employs various methods to track down the source of a leak … as well as to put a stop to any further illicit file sharing. We’re told the record company already has a lead on who’s behind the leak and plans to take swift punitive action.

As for Kanye — we’re told he’s cool as a cucumber.

Sources close to the rapper say Yeezy feels it’s almost inevitable for a highly anticipated album to leak … especially with so many cooks in the kitchen.

Sorry, bros at Def Jam – as long as people are smart enough to rename their .zip file into something nonsensical, you’ll never find all the uploads, no matter how many copies of Yeezus you manage to pull off Mediafire. And again, who really cares? I’ve worked at a major label before and the lengths they go to when you receive pre-release copies (including watermarks with your personal information embedded into them, making the disks unreadable on your computer, etc.) is kinda bonkers considering, once again, that anyone who was going to buy the album will still buy it when it comes out, anyway. This is one time I can actually say “good on Kanye” for not being uptight over some bullshit.

Will Baby Kimye Make Her Debut On ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’?

kim kardashian

Well, America’s William & Kate ruined a child’s life by welcoming their first baby on Saturday in Los Angeles nearly five weeks ahead of schedule (‘cos don’t even play me and try to say homegirl delivered naturally). While we still don’t know baby Kimye’s name, we’re already talking about where she’ll make her exclusive debut, with many guessing that she’ll show up on Keeping Up with the Kardashians since the show is still filming for the next few months. Oh, goody!

From Deadline:

Her sex was revealed on the Season 8 premiere of E!‘s Keeping Up With The Kardashians less than two weeks ago. And now the baby daughter of series’ star Kim Kardashian and boyfriend Kanye West, born today in Los Angeles, will likely make her debut on the hit reality series later this season. Keeping Up With The Kardashians is currently in production and is slated to continue filming for another couple of months. But unlike the lavish special on Kardashian’s ill-fated wedding to Kris Humphries, the youngest member of the Kardashian clan is not getting her own E! special, at least not for now.

According to a rep for E!, the network will air the previously scheduled Episode 3 of the show’s eighth season tomorrow night and there are no immediate plans for a baby special. The extent of newborn’s presence on Keeping Up also is unclear as father West has vowed never to appear on the show again and recently told the NYT that he will be protective of his child, claiming that she “isn’t America’s baby.” The girl’s arrival also coincides with new grandma Kris Jenner‘s promo campaign for the July 15 launch of her syndicated talk show and is likely to give her appearances a boost.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are both the worst in their own unique ways, but I’m actually torn on what’s going to happen here. Kim lives for reality TV and being seen and will no doubt want to paste baby Kimye’s face on every surface going, so it seems naturally that she’ll be on the show. Kanye is vehemently against any of this shit, which begs the question of why the hell they got together in the first place and what they actually have in common when their core values are so starkly different (supposedly).

What do you think? Will this baby be on the show or will they give an exclusive premiere to People or something first? Will Kanye succeed in keeping the baby out of the public eye?

So… Kanye West’s New Album Leaked


It’s the moment no one everyone’s been waiting for: Kanye West‘s new album Yeezus has leaked to the masses! Now, I’m of the mind that Kanye the man is an egotistical asshole with some serious anger issues and zero tact, but that doesn’t change the fact that artistically, he’s done some amazing things. 808s & Heartbreaks was ridiculously underrated. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy also had its bright spots and everyone loved Graduation (aka Kanye’s commercial days). Yeezy, unfortunately, is not one of those amazing things. (By the way,  I know the image above isn’t the actual album artwork; it’s just a pretty hilarious piece of fanart circulating around tumblr at the moment.)

For those of you who have spared your eardrums, allow me to put it this way: this album is a hot fucking mess. It’s all over the place sonically, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing in general, but paired with the ‘diary of a madman’-type lyrics, it’s a nice big dose of DEAR GOD NO. That’s not to say I wasn’t into some of the beats here and there and that I didn’t laugh at lyrics like these (from ‘I Am God’ – yes, that’s seriously a track title):

I am a god
So hurry up with my damn massage
And a French ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissants
I am a god

I’m all for food references in music – especially rap! – and I’m also aware of the joy of a delicious buttery croissant, so I can see what inspired this. On a serious note, though: really, man? You’re so serious about your art and are so ~influential~ and ~relevant~ that you choose to rap about pastries? I don’t like to tell people how to do their jobs, but…

Is 'Yeezus' a total disaster?
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