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Justin Bieber

3Justin Bieber Wears A Stupid Outfit; Blames It On A Dare

justin bieber hat dare belieber

Justin Bieber looked really stupid today. But like, especially stupid. He wore an outfit something Kreayshawn would wear. Because some dude named Ryan dared him to.

Ryan said you won’t go out in that, I said watch me [...] Haha, too colorful. Next time I’m gonna wear a black hat

Effing poetry right there. The hat was apparently given to him by a fan, AKA, “A Belieber.” That’s kind of nice actually, I think it’s cool he did that. Although by wearing it and joking about it is he making fun of it?

It’s still not as bad as what Kim Kardashian wore  a few days ago, and that was by her own choice.

If you’d like to see more angles of Mr. Bieber’s stupid outfit, you can check out this photo on his Instagram.

This begs the question though: who, then, dared him to wear this outfit for meeting the Prime Minister of Canada?

canadian prime minister justin bieber overalls

March 1, 2013 at 4:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

4Justin Bieber Offered Free Ticket to Space (Here’s Hoping It’s One Way)

Justin Bieber, the Canadian version of my worst nightmare, is constantly doing things to annoy me and all other humans over the age of 12 (like wearing the gas mask above to go out shopping in London over the weekend. Like, what?), but there’s good news! NASA wants to send him to space… probably so far out that he never comes back. It all started on Twitter when Justin said he wants to perform in space. That’s idiotic, but NASA felt the need to respond to his request by offering their assistance in getting him off planet earth.



I mean, LOL, I guess? I don’t care where Justin goes, so long as it’s not in my face, on my TV, on the radio, on the internet or anywhere else. And some other people seem to be catching on to the feeling – he was turned away from a Manchester night club on Saturday, as well, for being an awful dancer. Seriously:


I’m feeling you, Sankeys. I’ll come through next time I’m in Manchester.

February 26, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

4Justin Bieber’s Would-Be Kidnappers Really Did Want to Sell His Testicles For $2,500 Each

You know how those two bros planned to kidnap, castrate and kill Justin Bieber last year before they got caught and went to jail? Remember how it was claimed that the suspects responsible for the plot – convicted killer Dana Martin and fellow inmate Mark Staake – wanted to sell his balls for $2,500 each? Turns out they uh, actually did.

From Digital Spy:

In phone calls obtained by KOAT 7 News in Albuquerque, Martin can be heard explaining to Ruane that Staake is “going to kill the pit bulls and you’re going to castrate them”, with “pit bulls” being the gang’s code word for Bieber, according to police.

The two then mention “hedge clippers” as their choice of instrument for the castration and agree on a price tag of “five large” for Bieber’s testicles.

A police report read: “When Mr Martin asked what Mr Staake had bought to castrate the victims, Mr Ruane stated that he had bought a pair of hand-held hedge clippers.

“In response to Mr Staake’s reluctance to follow through with the castrations, Mr Ruane stated he was going to do it and get ‘five large for each one I get’. Mr Martin confirmed that Mr Ruane was going to get $2,500 per testicle.

”Mr Martin suggested hiding them somewhere, such as the engine compartment, so as to avoid detection should they get pulled over.”

Ruane and Staake were arrested before they could carry out an attack on Bieber – believed to have been planned for after a show in New York’s Madison Square Garden – after Martin himself told police of the alleged plot.

Staake was arrested in Vermont due to outstanding warrants, while Ruane was later arrested in New York after police found murder equipment on his person

Martin, who has a tattoo of Bieber’s face on his leg, is currently serving two life sentences in Las Cruces prison, New Mexico for rape and murder.

First of all, I love that anyone cares enough about this little insufferable idiot to want to go through so much trouble and end up in prison. Second of all, Justin’s fans are barely old enough to have piggy banks, let alone $2,500 to pay for one of his baby balls. Third of all, I never would have used “pit bulls” as a code name for Bieber – more like “chihuahuas” or perhaps “teacup poodles”.

In all seriousness, there are some sick f-ckers in the world who think shit like this and it’s sort of terrifying. I mean, hedge clippers? I don’t even have boy parts and that’s giving me phantom pains.

February 20, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

10Justin Bieber Thinks Anyone Who Doesn’t Like Him Needs a Good Slapping

Ugh, isn’t it just the worst when you want to ignore someone’s entire existence, but they keep insisting on being a total smacked ass at every available opportunity, making that impossible? Enter Justin Bieber, who is quickly becoming Chris Brown‘s top competitor for Walking Bag of Shit of the Year.

Alright, here’s the scoop. Apparently the drummer for the Black Keys, Patrick Carney, made a comment a few days ago that basically in so many words said that Bieber isn’t really a musician’s musician, as it were, but hey, at least he’s rich! He wasn’t just picking on poor, defenseless Justin, though. Instead, he was responding to the teen’s incessant whining about being passed over for any Grammy nods this year. Ugh. I know, right?

Carney’s exact comment is as follows:

“He’s rich, right? Grammys are for, like, music, not for money … and he’s making a lot of money. He should be happy, I guess.”

I think what Carney said is partly stupid because he’s implying that only underrated bands who aren’t raking it in count as “musicians”, but I’m on his side because Justin Bieber is a whiny idiot and no one owes his pansy ass anything. Also, here’s a newsflash, Justin: you weren’t nominated because your album wasn’t any good.

Anyhow, His Royal Highness didn’t take too highly to the insult and lashed out at Carney via his Twitter page, claiming that a little violence would solve the situation. After all, who doesn’t beat up everyone who doesn’t like them?


Can anyone shut him up? It’s a shame Pattie Mallette didn’t take her son’s advice and bend him over her knee and ‘slap him around’ a little when he was growing up. Maybe then he wouldn’t have turned into such a douchebag.

February 13, 2013 at 10:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

4Justin Bieber’s Mother Lets Him Do What He Wants

Pattie Mallette Justin Bieber pics photos

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to insufferable asshole Justin Bieber; his mother, Pattie Mallette, is also – surprise, surprise! – the absolute worst. Oh, it was all wonderful in the beginning when she painted herself as just a struggling single mom* who wanted no part of showbiz but eventually gave in for the sake of her son, who was just so passionate about music that it would be cruel to keep him from sharing his God-given talent with the world. Of course, the truth has since come out that she’s a money grubber and all those Christian values (including promotion of abstinence-only education) she purports to live by and endlessly preaches about kinda don’t apply to her own son, who has turned into a total nightmare.

Anyway, Pattie is currently on her Tour of Terror and is making the round on US TV shows as she promotes her memoir about how kewl it is to make money off the kid you nearly aborted – amen! – and she had nothing but positive things to say about Justin’s on-again/off-again girlfriend, Selena Gomez, and Justin’s life choices during a recent appearance on the Today show.

“You know, I just try and support whatever he’s wanting,” she said. “And I think she’s a sweetheart, and whatever they decide is great.”

“I mean, it’s tough letting go and letting our kids make the mistakes that they need to make. I just have to trust that he’s made good decisions in the past, and hopefully he’s learned from some of my mistakes.”

I know Justin’s 18 now and she can’t control him and all, but I can’t help but wonder what she really thinks about the fact that he’s pretty much doing every single thing on her list of diabolical activities: sex, drugs, breaking the law, being a dick to people… that’s something to be proud of, for sure.

*Mad respect to single moms – and single parents in general. Raising a kid is hard as hell and doing it well is something to be celebrated.

February 8, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

7LOL of the Day: Justin Bieber Cheated On Selena Gomez… With Rihanna?

In what has to be the most ridiculous story of the day – nay, the entire week – it seems that Justin Bieber was unfaithful to on-again/off-again girlfriend Selena Gomez… with Rihanna. Bahahaha! I’ll let you get it all out of your system before proceed. Go on, take your time, catch your breath. Okay?

Take it away, Life & Style:

Life & Style can exclusively reveal the reason Selena Gomez broke up with Justin Bieber after two years of dating: Selena found out that Justin had cheated on her in the early stages of their relationship — with Rihanna.

“It has devastated her,” a friend of Selena and Justin’s reveals in the new issue of Life & Style. “It really cut like a knife because it happened in February of 2011, when Selena and Justin had been dating for months and were falling in love. It’s caused Selena to question their entire relationship.”

After flirting at a basketball game in LA on Feb. 20, 2011, the friend tells Life & Style that he and Rihanna hooked up.

Though Justin and Selena, who have been dating since late 2010, have been off and on in recent months as work kept them apart, this devastating piece of information caused her to break things off for good, says the friend. Now, “Selena thinks maybe they’ve been hooking up all along,” their friend tells the mag.

Okay, I don’t even know where to start with this one. First of all, I know Rihanna is sexually liberated and gets her swerve on at all times (get yours, girl – no shame!), but Justin Bieber? In 2011, he would have been just about 17. His voice was barely mature, so I doubt much else was. He was just some wannabe Usher with mediocre singing and barely passable dancing – hardly her cup of tea, if I had to guess (regardless of how “awesome” Mike Tyson thinks he is). Second of all… just, no. I don’t even have a second of all, it’s just that stupid.

I will say, however, that I’m sure Justin has cheated on Selena with quite a few girls, most likely 13-year-old groupies who stalk him at his concerts. He’s just the worst – dunno what anyone sees in this little asshole.

February 6, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Jennifer