Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber Is So Sorry About All The Weed

A photo of Justin Bieber

Are you happy now? Have you gotten your fill of shaming poor little Justin Bieber, or do you still have some more insults to throw at him for smoking that wacky weed? Did you forget what it was like to be a rich and famous 18-year-old boy? Do you have no humanity? No decency?

Well, regardless of all that, this is not about you. This is about Justin, and how even though he makes mistakes, he’s still a wonderful person, a bright, beautiful star in this dark, dark world. Here are some tweets he tweeted yesterday that prove just how wonderful – and just how sorry – he really is:

everyday growing and learning. trying to be better. u get knocked down, u get up.

back on tour tomorrow. ready to see u all smile. time to do what im supposed to be doing. performing. #BELIEVEtour

i see all of u. i hear all of u. i never want to let any of you down. i love u. and..thank u. #beliebers

like i said…2013…new challenges. new doubters…Im ready. We are ready. see u all tomorrow and everyday after that. #BELIEVEtour

goodnight ladies. #muchlove

So there you go, doubters. Justin Bieber has acknowledged that he is only allowed to do one thing in this life: excite the young girls of the world. He is allowed no mistakes, no breaks, and no setbacks. Justin Bieber is a machine, and as such, he was in the studio this very morning recording a song to smooth this whole thing over. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming, based on this tweet from Justin’s manager, Scooter:

up early working hard to get this last minute very heartfelt song the kid just wrote onto the #BelieveAcoustic album. #11songs

So what do you say? Can you forgive him yet?

IS THAT A MARIJUANA CIGARETTE, JUSTIN BIEBER?!?!

A photo of Justin Bieber

Well, I never. I literally have never. I’ve never felt so much disappointment, so much shame, and so much fear for the future of the youth of the world.

Nah, I’m just playin’. This is just a photo of Justin Bieber smoking a joint.

The photo was taken at a party in some hotel room on January 2nd. Everyone got high, and then they reportedly talked about the best place to get fast food late at night. No, really, that actually happened.

Really, the only thing I’m worried about with this new development of Justin Bieber: Weed Fiend is that he’s going to ruin his beautiful, delicate vocal cords with the smoke. Because then he might not sing like an angel anymore, and he might lose popularity, and then he would fade into obscurity in a haze of smoke. And we just couldn’t have that, now could we?

A Photographer Was Killed Trying to Follow Justin Bieber

A photo of Justin Bieber

From TMZ:

A paparazzo attempting to shoot photos of Justin Bieber’s Ferrari was hit by another car and killed this evening — although Bieber was NOT behind the wheel of the Ferrari … TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Bieber’s white Ferrari was pulled over by California Highway Patrol for speeding on the 405 … near the Getty Center in LA.   The CHP directed the driver to pull off the freeway, onto Sepulveda Blvd.

According to our sources, Bieber was DEFINITELY not driving at the time.

We’re told a paparazzo — who was following the Ferrari at the time of the pull over — attempted to snap pics while officers conducted the traffic stop … until CHP advised the photog to move back because the situation was unsafe.

The photog then crossed Sepulveda to snap pics and was struck by an oncoming vehicle as he crossed back and killed.

Our sources say drugs and alcohol were not a factor for the driver of the vehicle that hit the photog.

Since this initial report, it’s been confirmed that Justin wasn’t driving, he’d let a friend borrow the car.

But can we all agree that there’s a line with this whole thing that shouldn’t be crossed? This poor guy risked his life to get a picture of Justin Bieber, and he lost it. Isn’t that sad? There’s a difference between gossiping about a celebrity and following him around in your car, you know? One’s natural, and the other is creepy and weird and dangerous. It’s like the difference between you and your friends talking about that one bitch at work and what she might have been doing last night and driving to her house with a fancy camera to try to catch pictures of her doing it. Gossip might be catty, but that’s why we love it. No one loves stalking creepers.

Not to make light of someone’s death, but Justin Bieber just got a new tattoo:

A photo of Justin Bieber

That’s his calf, by the way. The praying hands are old, but the roses are new. Wouldn’t it be much more fun to talk trash about his tattoos instead of looking at pictures of him being pulled over for speeding?

UPDATE: It turns out that the guy, freelance photographer Chris Guerra, thought he had seen Justin driving around earlier in the day, and he thought that Justin had been smoking weed. He followed Justin back to a hotel, and when Justin’s car left a little while later, he followed him, trying to get the scoop. That’s why he was driving recklessly, because he wanted to get the photos of Justin Bieber getting caught smoking weed. This is awful.

Justin Bieber “Smokes Weed All Day,” “Doesn’t Listen to Anyone”

A photo of Justin Bieber

Ok, let me go ahead and let you guys know what’s going on in Justin‘s world these days, and then we can discuss, all right?

“Justin doesn’t seem to care and does whatever he wants, ” a source tell Confidenti@l. One insider says Bieber’s team had had several talks with him, but “He doesn’t listen to anyone.”

Another Bieber insider tells us, “He smokes weed all day, from the time he gets up, and orders everybody around. He’s surrounded by hangers-on who say ‘yes’ to anything he wants. There’s no supervision.”

That source indicates Bieber’s only family sometimes comes to him for money, which further complicates the situation.

While some close to Bieber think he’s simply exhibiting teen angst, another source tells us, “This could really damage his reputation if they don’t get it under control. Justin is someone young teens look up to and this kind of behavior can really hurt his career. Just look at what happened with Britney Spears.”

There are just some people who are always going to be kids to me. Like my nieces, who are 12 and 14 and who are both taller than me with bigger shoe sizes and who acted surprised when I asked them if they wanted a new CD of The Wiggles for Christmas – they’re always going to be babies. And little Justin Bieber, he’s always going to be a baby. And babies don’t smoke weed all day, and if they do, then somebody needs to be reported.

But on the other hand, is it weird that I think that sounds kind of nice? Just to be able to wake up and get high if you want, and then probably just chill for a while, and if someone who works for you tells you to do something, you can just be like “nah.” Or if you felt sort of insecure, you could just casually mention something like “man, I wish I wasn’t such a jackass,” and then everybody would be like “what? No! You are the furthest thing from a jackass! You are beauty! You are perfection!” And then you’d be like “ok, thanks, can somebody go peel an apple and feed it to me?” Doesn’t that sounds kind of great right now?

But What’s That in Your Pants, Justin Bieber?

photo of justin bieber erection balls penis pictures
This is Justin Bieber performing at the Jingle Bell Ball, and since pretty much everything has been about junk lately (i.e., the Bell Ball, Justin’s balls being removed), I figured it was probably appropriate to go ahead and post this here photo, which appears to showcase a item protruding from somewhere in in the region of Justin Bieber‘s alleged genitals.

Honestly speaking, I don’t know what it is and neither do you. So let’s just go ahead and pretend it’s a big, giant (OK, average-ish) erection, because that’s just going to make watching him perform so much better.

Justin Bieber Balls—Get Your Justin Bieber Balls Here!

photo of justin bieber pictures balls pic
Did you ever wonder what the price of celebrity testicles would run you? No? Well you’re in luck, because if you ever happened to kidnap and castrate Justin Bieber, the going rate for a single ball is around $2,500.

The story claims that an imprisoned murder convict dispatched two of his outside henchmen to abduct, murder, and de-ball Justin Bieber at his recent Madison Square Garden appearance in New York City. The plot was blown open, and two men connected to the case were arrested and caught with pruning shears. The plan was to strangle both Bieber and his bodyguard with a tie (a paisley tie, in case you found that information to be relevant and necessary to start your day), and then proceed with the castration.

The price of $2,500 is, of course, assuming that Justin Bieber’s balls have dropped, because otherwise you’re just getting a bit of foreskin or something, and really, what’s that worth? A hundred bucks, maybe?