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Justin Bieber

Gag Me: Justin Bieber Previews ‘All That Matters’ Video

justin bieber

Justin Bieber is still going strong with his #MusicMondays bullshit, and his latest offering comes in the form of a song called ‘All That Matters’. I guarantee you nothing about this song matters, but some people apparently like this kid and so it’s news.

Speaking of Justin Bieber fans, where’s my Ontario-based Anonymous poster whose fingers are hovering over the keyboard, getting ready to tell me how I need to bend over and take it from Justin from behind since that’s clearly what I want when I talk about how fucking awful this kid is?  The video makes me wish I was born without eyes and ears. He tries to get his “swag” out – wait, sorry, that word isn’t being used by the urban youth anymore, according to hood spokesperson Bieber – and put moves on some girl as she then sucks his earlobes and… what? I don’t even know.

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Justin Bieber Isn’t Sorry About Anything, Is All About “Amazingness”

justin bieber not sorry

Justin Bieber has done a new exposé with The Hollywood Reporter, wherein he basically said he’s not sorry about anything he ever does and that he’s not a dickhead at all, he’s just “all about amazingness”. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Here are some choice quotes below:

His thoughts on “black culture”:

“I’m very influenced by black culture, but I don’t think of it as black or white,” he says. “It’s not me trying to act or pose in a certain way. It’s a lifestyle — like a suaveness or a swag, per se. But I don’t really like to say the word ['swag'] anymore. It’s kind of played out.”

OH YES, JUSTIN. You are such a fucking trendsetter and a definite spokesperson for black culture, being the white bread little shit you are.

On his burgeoning reputation as a Grade A dickhead:

“I don’t give a f—.” Elaborates Bieber: “Not ‘I don’t give a f—’ to just be reckless and do whatever, but ‘I don’t give a f— what they say.’ … I know who I am and what I’m doing in my life and what I’ve accomplished and continue to accomplish as a performer, as a writer, as an artist, as a person, as a human being. I’m happy with the man I’m becoming.”

On us meanie bloggers saying meanie things about him:

“When people see a negative thing about me on a magazine, they’re gonna buy it. Every time some site writes something bad, all my followers go on there, and it brings them more traffic. Now they have all the Beliebers on their site, which gives them money from advertisers. They’re just worried about money. They don’t care about ruining someone’s name.”

On his message to fans:

“What I represent is positivity and brightness and lightness and amazingness. Nothing negative at all.”

Also, here’s a choice spoonful of bullshit that his manager, Scooter Braun (WHY IS A GROWN MAN CALLED SCOOTER?), tried to feed us:

“He’s the only person in humanity who’s grown up the way he has — with smartphones and cameras on him 24/7,” says Braun. “Another kid can go out and have a good night on the town, and no one gives a crap, but Justin is the most Googled person on the planet — for four years straight!”

Oh God, can’t ANYONE make this shit stop?! I’ve never heard such a gigantic crock of shit all in one sitting before. This is horrendous. Justin’s the ONLY HUMAN to grow up how he has despite there being a MILLION OTHER CHILD STARS out there not doing the same fuckery he is? Justin represents “amazingness”? Ugh, I need to go take a bleach shower.

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Justin Bieber Lied About Meeting the Mexican President

justin bieber

Oh, Justin Bieber. Can you just leave South America – better yet, leave the planet – and never return? It’s one thing after another with this kid. This time around, he tweeted the following message on Monday night before performing at Foro Sol in Mexico City (note: the message has since been deleted):

“Just met some amazing mexican beliebers and the presidente of mexico and his familia. Now it is showtime. 60,000 [people] tonight … te amo.”

Uh, only problem is, he definitely didn’t meet Enrique Peña Nieto, the president of Mexico. And Nieto was so displeased with Justin talking shit that he immediately issued a statement to clear things up, saying that he never went anywhere near Bieber:

Justin then had to put out his own retraction, saying, oops, I guess I didn’t actually meet him, just his family. Sorry, but that’s not an innocent mistake. I think you’d know if you met the president or not. What a fuckwad. Of course, this is nothing compared to his night with a prostitute, repeated vandalism and kicking the Argentinian flag off stage, it’s just another thing to add to the bunch.

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