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Justin Bieber

1Justin Bieber Is Getting Advice From will.i.am Now, I Guess

justin bieber pics

Justin Bieber isn’t having a very good 2013 so far. He’s showed up hours late for his own concerts, been kicked out of two clubs, got in a fight with a photographer and canceled another show over what seems to be low ticket sales. His transformation into complete and utter waste of space seems nearly complete!  But if you’re going to have your head so far up your own asshole you can’t see the light of day, you’ll want to consult someone who’s been there, done that, right? Enter will.i.am!

From Channel 5 News (via DigitalSpy):

will.i.am has now referred to Bieber’s troubles and questionable behavior as a mere “bump in the road”, insisting that he is still “a good kid”.

“I already gave [advice] to him on the phone, he’s good, he’s a good kid,” the Voice UK coach told Channel 5 News. “When you’re 17, 18, 19, 20 the world can get you off course but he’s gonna be alright.

“He has a good family, good people around him. Just every once in a while there’s a bump in the road.”

The “bump” in this case is more like a giant crater that’s going to swallow the earth and all its inhabitants into a black hole of his ass hattery, but okay, WILLIAM. Second of all, the world doesn’t get you off course, but way too much money, a mother who just wants you as a cash cow and otherwise probably would have still been thinking about the abortion she was going to have, “friends” who want to reap the benefits of your work, employees who are enablers because they don’t want to lose their jobs and record labels who want to make as much off you as they can before the world forgets about your stupid, skinny ass will definitely get you off course.

Also, shut up, will.i.am. You don’t even go here!

March 12, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Justin Bieber, will.i.am

14Justin Bieber Cancels Concert, Remains An Asshole

justin bieber photographer fight

Justin Bieber cancelled one of his upcoming Portugal concert, according to E Online. Whose f-cking ass is he going to kick over this one?

“Due to unforeseen circumstances, Justin Bieber was forced to cancel the second operation, in Portugal, on 12 March,” the Portuguese promoter Everything is New posted on their Website. “The Canadian singer is eager to play for the Portuguese fans on 11 March.”

The message also promised a refund to fans who had purchased tickets for the concert. “Holders of tickets valid for March 12 should contact the respective place of purchase to receive a refund within 30 days of the date of the scheduled concert, which ends April 11.”

The Beebs has been having a bit of a rough time lately. What, with his inability to find a shirt that says on his body and showing up late to his own concert and having the worst birthday ever. Best of luck to you, Mr. Bieber. Or whatever. I don’t really care.

March 11, 2013 at 5:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

12Justin Bieber’s Playing The “Pity Me” Card Now

justin bieber hospital pics

Another day, another Justin Bieber story (I know, I’m sorry). He’s still in the UK, he’s still an asshole, but this time, we’re supposed to feel bad for him because poor baby Justin felt like he “couldn’t breathe” while backstage at the O2 arena and had to see the medics. After performing a shortened set, he went to the hospital, had some oxygen and felt so ill, he managed to find time to Instagram the experience. Why him, God? How could you torture such a pure, innocent soul?!

From TMZ:

A source close to Justin tells us the singer felt woozy during the show at the O2 Arena … and with 4 songs to go, he stumbled backstage where he collapsed.

We’re told the singer was pulled into a private room where he was treated with oxygen from emergency personnel.

Sources say Bieber was advised to go to the hospital … but declined … insisting that he “had to finish the show for his fans.”

That’s when Bieber’s rep, Scooter Braun, went on stage and told the crowd … “Justin’s got very light breath. The whole show he’s been complaining, He’s backstage with the EMTs and the doctor.

I hate to say this whole thing is totally bullshit, but… it’s totally bullshit. He gets a bunch of bad press and is called out for the little prick that he is, goes on a weird Twitter rant and then suddenly falls ill and we’re meant to feel bad for him? No thanks. I don’t wish ill on anyone – not even Justin Bieber – but that doesn’t apply here since the whole thing is fake as f-ck. There’s nothing wrong with this kid. Health-wise, anyway.

UPDATE: Bieber just got into a massive fight with a photographer this afternoon and “lunged” at him, saying, “What the f-ck you say? What d’you say? I’ll f-cking beat the f-ck out of you man!” What a class act.

March 8, 2013 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

7Aww, Justin Bieber Is Having a Bit of a Meltdown

Aw, people were mean to the wittle baby and now he wants you all to say sowwy for making him cwy! Justin Bieber is a toolbox of the highest order, and that’s putting it nicely. In the UK alone he’s reached new heights of douchebaggery, from showing up 3 hours late to his own concert and making VIP fans (read: kids whose parents paid HUNDREDS for what was literally meant to be 30 seconds with the star and wasn’t even that, in the end) wait four hours to be ignored by him to walking around in the middle of winter with no shirt on to show off his child body. No one’s impressed, and now Justin’s going to cry about it.

Because he went on a multi-tweet rant, I’ll copy the contents of all the messages below rather than embedding the tweets, because homeboy was on one:

“Rumors rumors and more rumors. nothing more nothing less. might talk about them 1 day. rt now im just gonna be positive. cant bring me down. im focused on the good things in life. im blessed and not forgetting it. im giving back every day for it. cant phase me.

“Fake stories to sell papers i guess are part of the job. but im a good person. i know that. u cant tell me different. we know the truth. as long as my family, friends, and fans r with me u can say whatever. we are all equal in God’s eyes & we have a responsibility to eachother.”
“Make up stories about fake fines and make no mention of the positive…. or say when i came out of my show with my shirt off because after performing for 2 hours i might be sweaty i was going into a club (really?)

“i understand it is part of the job to be judged…but judge me on the facts, judge me on the music, and be careful of the judgement u pass but know this…im only judged by one power, and i serve him.”

“So yeah I will continue being me. i will continue to serve, to perform, to care, to love, to smile, to dance, to play, to sing… and u are welcome to join, because i carry no hate. We got to much love for that. Im about the music.”

Someone get this kid a Moleskine and a felt-tip pen for all of this misplaced angst. I mean, is he serious? Obviously the press makes up stories, but the people bitching about your little ass aren’t journalists, they’re FANS who presumably wanted to think the best of you and walked away with a rather dim view of you – basically, they saw you for the arrogant prick you are, and now you’re trying to use God as a shield against the backlash. What the hell is wrong with people? Also, what the hell is he “giving back” every day, besides a f-cking headache and premature wrinkles between the eyebrows to anyone who has to read about him?

March 7, 2013 at 6:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

29Even Olivia Wilde Is Over Justin Bieber’s Shenanigans

Olivia Wilde, who I never really pay attention to in the grand scheme of things, became my new best friend when she felt it necessary to go on Twitter just to tell Justin Bieber to put a shirt on and stop looking like a reject from a Vanilla Ice biopic audition room. Well, that last bit was all me, but you know what I mean.


Justin’s tour of terror of the UK saw him go shirtless in Birmingham last week as if it was the middle of summer in Capri. The reality is that it’s f-cking freezing here and he looks like an idiot – more so than usual, that is. It’s almost as if he was trying to punish my eyes because he had a shitty birthday or something. I’m not a violent person, but he just makes me want to punch things. Repeatedly.

If this idiot wasn’t bad enough on his own, now he’s sent the Bieber army after Olivia to attack her for daring to insult their king. Can anyone 18 and younger please be banned from using the internet, like, ever? Or at least make them their own little corner so I don’t have to see anything they do or read anything they have to say?

More pics of the ‘Ice Ice Baby’ singer – oops, sorry, wrong person – out in Birmingham below.

March 6, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Filed Under: Justin Bieber

16Kylie Jenner Is Apparently Dating Jaden Smith, Guys

Kylie Jenner is only 14 – an age at which I was still playing with dolls (I liked doing their hair and I was a late bloomer, OKAY?) – but she’s apparently in a relationship with Will Smith‘s son, Jaden Smith. The pair were spotted going to lunch in London over the weekend, making me wonder if they were two of the underage kids turned away from Justin Bieber‘s circus party.

From US Weekly:

Jaden Smith has been keeping up with Kylie Jenner! The 14-year-old Karate Kid actor recently began romancing the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star, Us Weekly can exclusively reveal. “They’re dating,” says a source. “It’s new, but they’ve been friends forever.”

The young stars were most recently spotted together on a lunch date at Caffe Nero in London’s famous Piccadilly Square on Sunday, March 3. Jaden — who next appears in the movie After Earth, opposite his famous dad Will Smith — was in town to celebrate his pal Justin Bieber’s 19th birthday.

I don’t have any commentary on this. It’s just… whatever.

March 5, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer