OK, brace yourself, guys, because this morning is about to get even more absurd than it already is, what with Taylor Swift getting dumped for the zillionth time in a row.
The latest story is that Justin Bieber‘s f-cking weirdo fans have banded together to cut themselves in an effort to make their favorite popstar stop all the pot-smoking, because duh, like, pot smoking is so, so bad and only scumbags do things like that*.
Things are getting so crazy that even dang ol’ Miley Cyrus is jumping into the fray, calling all of Justin’s fans who are considering cutting themselves stupid and “disrespectful.” From TMZ:
The hashtag #cut4bieber has become the top U.S. trend on Twitter … after people began posting photos featuring bleeding arms, allegedly the result of “cutting” by disappointed fans looking to pressure the singer into giving up his pot habit.
In fact, someone even started a website encouraging Bieber fans to cut themselves and post photos of the carnage …. until Bieber gives up marijuana for good.
But moments ago, Miley Cyrus weighed in on the troubling trend — retweeting a messaging saying:
“#cut4bieber? Cutting is NOT something to joke about. There are people who are actually suffering from self-harm, this is so disrespectful.”
Oh my God. #cut4bieber? Can we maybe change that to “#die4bieber”, because the whole idea of people being so stupid as to cut themselves because Justin Bieber, an eighteen-year-old kid who’s got the world by the balls, wants to smoke pot, kind of makes me want the human race as a whole to just keel over, because guys, we have all apparently failed miserably.
*Only scumbags do not do that. Sure, there are probably scumbags who do smoke pot, but not all people who smoke pot are scumbags. I mean, scumbags work at the bank, scumbags take care of poor, innocent children in daycare centers, and scumbags even teach at University. There are also plenty of people who work at the bank, or who take care of poor, innocent children in daycare centers, and who even teach at University who probably smoke pot and who aren’t scumbags. See? Things are just so diverse—it’s impossible to lump all people into one category and then cut yourself over the category that you don’t like.
January 8, 2013 at 6:30 am by Sarah
Well, this is basically my worst nightmare. Justin Bieber is only 18 years old, and he already has like a billion tattoos. Before too long, he won’t have an inch of tender pink skin left. It’ll all be covered with birds and flowers and Jesus or whatever. And that’s sad.
Don’t get me wrong though, because I’m all for tattoos. Get all the tattoos, I’ll support you. But Justin’s tattoos just seem so silly. Like that owl he has right on his arm. Come on now. Just come on now.
His latest tattoo, though?
Boom, right on the shoulder! It’s some hockey team’s logo, and it’s for his grandpa. He put that photo on his Instagram, along with this explanation:
My grandfather always took me to the stratford culliton every friday night. This is for Grampa.
Well, ok, Justin. Ok. I really don’t want to give you a pass this time, but I guess I will. But just this once!
January 7, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Emily
Are you happy now? Have you gotten your fill of shaming poor little Justin Bieber, or do you still have some more insults to throw at him for smoking that wacky weed? Did you forget what it was like to be a rich and famous 18-year-old boy? Do you have no humanity? No decency?
Well, regardless of all that, this is not about you. This is about Justin, and how even though he makes mistakes, he’s still a wonderful person, a bright, beautiful star in this dark, dark world. Here are some tweets he tweeted yesterday that prove just how wonderful – and just how sorry – he really is:
everyday growing and learning. trying to be better. u get knocked down, u get up.
back on tour tomorrow. ready to see u all smile. time to do what im supposed to be doing. performing. #BELIEVEtour
i see all of u. i hear all of u. i never want to let any of you down. i love u. and..thank u. #beliebers
like i said…2013…new challenges. new doubters…Im ready. We are ready. see u all tomorrow and everyday after that. #BELIEVEtour
goodnight ladies. #muchlove
So there you go, doubters. Justin Bieber has acknowledged that he is only allowed to do one thing in this life: excite the young girls of the world. He is allowed no mistakes, no breaks, and no setbacks. Justin Bieber is a machine, and as such, he was in the studio this very morning recording a song to smooth this whole thing over. Or at least that’s what I’m assuming, based on this tweet from Justin’s manager, Scooter:
up early working hard to get this last minute very heartfelt song the kid just wrote onto the #BelieveAcoustic album. #11songs
So what do you say? Can you forgive him yet?
January 6, 2013 at 12:00 pm by Emily
Well, I never. I literally have never. I’ve never felt so much disappointment, so much shame, and so much fear for the future of the youth of the world.
Nah, I’m just playin’. This is just a photo of Justin Bieber smoking a joint.
The photo was taken at a party in some hotel room on January 2nd. Everyone got high, and then they reportedly talked about the best place to get fast food late at night. No, really, that actually happened.
Really, the only thing I’m worried about with this new development of Justin Bieber: Weed Fiend is that he’s going to ruin his beautiful, delicate vocal cords with the smoke. Because then he might not sing like an angel anymore, and he might lose popularity, and then he would fade into obscurity in a haze of smoke. And we just couldn’t have that, now could we?
January 5, 2013 at 8:00 am by Emily
A paparazzo attempting to shoot photos of Justin Bieber’s Ferrari was hit by another car and killed this evening — although Bieber was NOT behind the wheel of the Ferrari … TMZ has learned.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Bieber’s white Ferrari was pulled over by California Highway Patrol for speeding on the 405 … near the Getty Center in LA. The CHP directed the driver to pull off the freeway, onto Sepulveda Blvd.
According to our sources, Bieber was DEFINITELY not driving at the time.
We’re told a paparazzo — who was following the Ferrari at the time of the pull over — attempted to snap pics while officers conducted the traffic stop … until CHP advised the photog to move back because the situation was unsafe.
The photog then crossed Sepulveda to snap pics and was struck by an oncoming vehicle as he crossed back and killed.
Our sources say drugs and alcohol were not a factor for the driver of the vehicle that hit the photog.
Since this initial report, it’s been confirmed that Justin wasn’t driving, he’d let a friend borrow the car.
But can we all agree that there’s a line with this whole thing that shouldn’t be crossed? This poor guy risked his life to get a picture of Justin Bieber, and he lost it. Isn’t that sad? There’s a difference between gossiping about a celebrity and following him around in your car, you know? One’s natural, and the other is creepy and weird and dangerous. It’s like the difference between you and your friends talking about that one bitch at work and what she might have been doing last night and driving to her house with a fancy camera to try to catch pictures of her doing it. Gossip might be catty, but that’s why we love it. No one loves stalking creepers.
Not to make light of someone’s death, but Justin Bieber just got a new tattoo:
That’s his calf, by the way. The praying hands are old, but the roses are new. Wouldn’t it be much more fun to talk trash about his tattoos instead of looking at pictures of him being pulled over for speeding?
UPDATE: It turns out that the guy, freelance photographer Chris Guerra, thought he had seen Justin driving around earlier in the day, and he thought that Justin had been smoking weed. He followed Justin back to a hotel, and when Justin’s car left a little while later, he followed him, trying to get the scoop. That’s why he was driving recklessly, because he wanted to get the photos of Justin Bieber getting caught smoking weed. This is awful.
January 2, 2013 at 6:30 am by Emily
“Justin doesn’t seem to care and does whatever he wants, ” a source tell Confidenti@l. One insider says Bieber’s team had had several talks with him, but “He doesn’t listen to anyone.”
Another Bieber insider tells us, “He smokes weed all day, from the time he gets up, and orders everybody around. He’s surrounded by hangers-on who say ‘yes’ to anything he wants. There’s no supervision.”
That source indicates Bieber’s only family sometimes comes to him for money, which further complicates the situation.
While some close to Bieber think he’s simply exhibiting teen angst, another source tells us, “This could really damage his reputation if they don’t get it under control. Justin is someone young teens look up to and this kind of behavior can really hurt his career. Just look at what happened with Britney Spears.”
There are just some people who are always going to be kids to me. Like my nieces, who are 12 and 14 and who are both taller than me with bigger shoe sizes and who acted surprised when I asked them if they wanted a new CD of The Wiggles for Christmas – they’re always going to be babies. And little Justin Bieber, he’s always going to be a baby. And babies don’t smoke weed all day, and if they do, then somebody needs to be reported.
But on the other hand, is it weird that I think that sounds kind of nice? Just to be able to wake up and get high if you want, and then probably just chill for a while, and if someone who works for you tells you to do something, you can just be like “nah.” Or if you felt sort of insecure, you could just casually mention something like “man, I wish I wasn’t such a jackass,” and then everybody would be like “what? No! You are the furthest thing from a jackass! You are beauty! You are perfection!” And then you’d be like “ok, thanks, can somebody go peel an apple and feed it to me?” Doesn’t that sounds kind of great right now?