2Justin Bieber Wants to Be Lil Wayne’s BFF, Lil Wayne Refuses

Here’s the story: Justin Bieber loves Lil Wayne.  So much.  He wants to rub his feet and take him to the beach and do all those things that people in love do together.  Well, ok, that last bit is mostly fantasy on my part, but Justin really does love Weezy to pieces.  Here, I’ll let Lil Wayne describe it for you himself:

“That’s my little homie now. He texts me every night asking me to do [his] damn song. That’s my nigga, but I can’t do it. Like I said, I don’t want to fuck his shit up.”

What he’s saying is that he’s not about to bring his particular musical stylings to Bieber’s hoards of teenyboppers, which is actually pretty respectable.  However, my newly discovered respect for Lil Wayne is not nearly as strong as my newly renewed love for Justin Bieber, because I’m sorry, but the image of The Biebz desperately trying to get a hold of the ever elusive, wise old Weezy is just too much to bear.

June 26, 2011 at 8:00 am by Emily

24Some Guy Does to Justin Bieber What I’ve Only Dreamed Of

Apparently Justin Bieber‘s new perfume, Someday, is filling its intended purpose: driving men around the world wild.

Bieber was at Macy’s in Manhattan yesterday promoting his latest, um, creative endeavor, and on his way out of the store, security somehow lapsed (no doubt driven to to the brink of sensual, lax insanity by the sweet effects of Justin’s mad perfumery skills), Justin took advantage of it and went to a non-secure area, and a non-Justin Bieber fan launched himself over a concrete barrier and tackled Justin. LOL! Could you imagine? Seeing little, scrawny Justin Bieber knocked down by a grown-ass man?

What REALLY happened, though, was that the “man” was a plainclothes police officer who was trying to protect Justin when he saw that the stupid little bitch was about to be swarmed by 500 people because he’s Justin Bieber and Justin Bieber doesn’t have to follow rules, even those put in place for his own safety.

The cop jumped Justin to protect him, and when a store security guard tried to intervene (despite the police officer’s assertations that he was, indeed, a long arm of the law), the security guard was restrained and taken into custody.

Way to ruin a guy’s day, Justin.

June 24, 2011 at 5:30 am by Sarah

61Justin and Selena Are Spending Their Nights Together Now

In the photo above and those below, sources claim that Selena Gomez was caught entering Justin Bieber‘s home last night. Probably for a pizza party or something. Anyway, the couple didn’t emerge ’til the next morning (today), and when they did, Selena was wearing the same clothes.

Now, before y’all go crazy and insist that Justin Bieber is engaging in underage sex, and Selena Gomez is guilty of corrupting a minor and what not, I am SURE that they were just cuddling. Like, they were probably watching Camp Rock II and fell asleep on the den couch before they even realized it was already after midnight. All of that Trivial Pursuit and Candyland must have tired them out. I mean, if Selena was planning on having a sleepover with Justin, she’d at least bring a change of clothes. And her toothbrush. IT’S NOT REALLY A WALK OF SHAME UNLESS SOMEONE HAD SEX.

Images courtesy of INF

June 3, 2011 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

5Justin Bieber Has a Foot Fetish

Good God, beach PDAs, underage tattoos, ass-grabbing, and now foot massages? What’s the world going to be treated to next, guys, full-on sex on the streets of LA?

Justin Bieber and his girlyfriend Selena Gomez continue their beach tour with an erotic foot massage. And yes, it IS erotic, because anything Justin Bieber does with this chick just screams ‘SEX!’, duh.  Just ask his weird-ass Twitter followers.

I know it’s kind of gross to consider these two grinding up and bumping uglies, partially because Bieber is a KID and that’s sort of PEDOPHILISH, but also partially because Justin Bieber has a very young-looking body, too, and that makes me wonder for Selena. I’m not going to speculate and say that boyfriend must be packing, because I think that’s probably crossing a line, but I will say: Justin Bieber is one charmed little boy.

What do we think of Justin and Selena’s PDAs?

May 31, 2011 at 12:30 pm by Sarah

419Oh, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are *DEFINITELY* Having Sex

And by that headline I mean, “Of course I have no proof that he’s actually sticking it to her, but if you’ve ever had sex in your life you can tell me what these two must be doing behind closed doors after looking at these pictures.”

I’ve been saying it forever. The Victoria’s Secret shopping sprees, the PDA, the pancakes, it all adds up. But if you needed any more proof that these two are getting their swerve on, then look at these photos. That is some raw sexuality right there. Her bikini-covered pelvis smashed into his waist as their mouths connect and he carries her through the ocean knowing full well that there’s most likely a camera crew near by?

Watch your back, Selena. Those Bielibers are ruthless.

May 27, 2011 at 4:30 am by Molls

10Selena Gomez Goes to the Beach With Justin Bieber and His Nipples

Hey, look, it’s those crazy teenage lovers, Selena and Justin. Man, can you imagine the heartbreak that’s gonna go down when these two split? You know it’s going to happen – it’s inevitable. And it’s going to go one of two ways: Selena’s going to get tired of napping next to a kid who doesn’t have a shred of hair on his concave chest and move along to much bigger, older, HAIRIER dudes, or Justin is going to grow bigger than his britches, turn eighteen, and kick Selena to the side of the street once he sees what kind of puss his scrawny ass can get JUST BECAUSE HE’S FAMOUS.

Also? Does Justin have some kind of tattoo on his right side (MY right; his left) emerging from his armpit, or does this kid just live and breathe his music so hard that he actually, like, sweats smeared, inky lyrics?

And who’s going to break up with whom when this crap finally does happen?

May 24, 2011 at 6:30 am by Sarah