Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jon Gosselin

There’s No Way in Hell Kate Gosselin’s Taking Back The Meatball With The Tiny Penis

With Jon Gosselin now hard at work installing solar panels (LOL!) and Kate Gosselin more or less fading into obscurity herself, people are wondering if there’s any chance that the two will reconcile. A source to Kate says “hell to the mothafuckin’ no” on that one.

“There is absolutely no chance of a reconciliation. They remain civil for the sake of the kids, but that’s it. It’s frustrating for Kate that people keep making up stories. They have both moved on,” the source told People.com.

In fact, if anything, Kate is doing everything in her power to disassociate herself from the ex that knocked her up with the eight kids that made her famous. “Kate wants nothing more than to be seen in a completely different light than Jon is viewed. Obviously he is the father of her children and that won’t change, but she is feeling very happy about her decisions and situation.”

Fact is, it’s pretty clear that these two were done long before Jon was caught cheating on Kate with a babysitter. They practically hated each other on the last season of their show, and when I watch old video clips of the two online (whatever! It’s research!) I have to wonder what they ever saw in one another. As a couple, they just made no sense.

I think it’s safe for us to put the idea of this reunion to bed.

Kate Gosselin’s Kids Take Pointers From Their Mom

photo of jon and kate gosselin with their eight kids pictures

You know, they say that most education starts at home, and unfortunately, this kind of education was missed in the Gosselin household. According to reports, two of Gosselin’s children, Collin and Alexis, have been expelled from their private school in Pennsylvania for excessive bullying of other students.

Expelled. You read that right. And if the italics confused you, here it is again. EXPELLED.  It’s said that the two kids were involved physically and verbally in harassing other students, but no specifics were made.  Whatever it was that these two kids were doing to their school peers obviously warranted their permanent removal from the school, so it must have been foul enough.

I want to be all sad about this, because it’s a shame, but all I’ve got is anger, because it’s apparent that Kate’s bullying (of everyone around her) was learned, and has trickled downhill where it rubbed off on her children. Kate is a self-entitled, ego-centric twat, and she’s teaching her kids to be just as hateful, just as nasty, and just as demanding.  On the whole, I guess that this entire thing doesn’t surprise me, but it definitely doesn’t fail to disappoint me, either. These are kids, guys. If they can’t learn the way to treat other human beings from their parents (despite the fact that they don’t exactly have the best examples to look up to), where else can they?

So yeah. Way to go, Kate. Maybe if you spent as much time cultivating your children and their manners and habits as you did on your faux-career, y’all wouldn’t be in this situation today. I don’t pity you.  You need to take control of your kids – the last thing we need is yet another generation of bullies. This kind of prevention starts at home, so get your leechy self off of crap television shows and book signings and get to it.

Julia Roberts’ Brother Calls Kate Gosselin Abusive

This story is amazing if only because it’s some of the most bizarre shit I’ve seen a celebrity take a stance on like, in my life. Ever.

Actor Eric Roberts, brother of Julia Roberts, made the above statement last week on his Twitter page. I’m pretty sure we’ve all had the same thought about Kate Gosselin as a mother, but it’s totally rare for an actual celebrity to make a statement like this. Candy Spelling, sure. A working actor? Very rare. But it turns out that keeping Kate Gosselin away from her kids is kind of Eric’s cause.

He’s so dedicated to bringing Kate down that he did an interview with what appears to be an anti-Gosselin site and the dude went OFF about how unfit he views her to be. Here are some of the best quotes:

“Thank goodness there is footage of Gosselin hitting her kids, and apparently feeling fine about it. I say thank goodness, because behind closed doors makes it that much tougher to stop.”

“I think the Gosselin kids’ private lives are their problem, not the fact that their private lives are public. They have an awful mother, and a father who doesn’t stop her.”

“I do think this is unfair to children, as they are not fully willing participants. But kids are not fully willing participants in anything during childhood.”
“Most parents love their children very much, just not very well. The home is an unregulated place to work. This should change. Parenting should be earned and licensed. Violence, emotional or physical, against or around a child or an animal (or anyone) should be a one-strike situation. Kind people have to step up to take care of the children who are being raised by unkind people.”

“My advice to Kate Gosselin would be to get out of denial and receive anger management with Dr. Richard Green in Woodland Hills, California. Next time she feels herself lifting a hand to harm one of her children, she should instead make a call to her local 12-step program. Those programs help with patterns of violence, among the more expected things they treat.”

His advice to Kate’s ex-husband, Jon: “Make a legally binding arrangement whereby Kate loses her financial security any time she hits those kids. She’s playing the role of good mom. When she stops playing the role as it’s written, she should be fired.”

I admire some of Eric’s thoughts about child rearing, but there are so many kids that are in much graver danger than the Gosselin kids. Sure, their mom is strict, spanks them and comes off as a complete witch on television, but that’s her personality and those are her parenting choices, and they’re hers to make. With the amount of kids in foster care in this country, is Kate Gosselin seriously Eric’s bone to pick?

Also, Woodland Hills sucks and it’s boring.