3Weight Watchers is Real, Real Mad at Jessica Simpson

So you know how Jessica Simpson’s working on gestating her second fetus? Because that’s definitely a thing, and Weight Watchers is pretty pissed off about it, of course. In a recent edition of Us Weekly, sources are claiming that Jess, as the new celebrity spokeswoman for Weight Watchers, has provoked the wrath of WW executives, and WW is considering redacting the entire deal, citing reasons like how Jessica didn’t lose the “right” amount of weight in the “right” amount of time anyway, and really, who wants to endorse a lady who’s counting calories and points for days when she’s pregnant?

In other Jessica news, girlfriend’s posting some pretty cryptic Tweets, not actually confirming her pregnancy, but not completely negating the rumors, either. From Jess’s Twitter:

Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason

So yeah. Weight Watchers is pissed, Twitter is still a viable news source, and Eric Johnson’s penis magically fell into place and got Jess pregnant all over again. What more could you ask for?

December 6, 2012 at 4:30 pm by Sarah

9JESSICA SIMPSON IS PREGNANT! AGAIN!

From Us:

Christmas is still nearly four weeks away, but Jessica Simpson got her biggest — and totally unexpected! — present early: Another baby on the way! Seven months after giving birth to daughter Maxwell Drew Johnson, the star is once again expecting, the new issue of Us Weekly exclusively confirms.

“It definitely wasn’t planned. But yes, Jessica is pregnant again,” a source reveals to Us. The surprise baby-to-be is the second for the singer and Fashion Star mentor, 32, and fiance Eric Johnson. (A rep for Simpson had no comment.)

Engaged for the past two years, Simpson and former NFL pro Johnson, 33, welcomed Maxwell — a whopping 9 pound, 13 ounce bundle of joy! — on May 1 of this year.

And while Simpson felt energized about her admirable 70-pound slimdown post-baby, her greatest inspiration is being a mom. “Motherhood is a dream,” she told Katie Couric back in September. “It really is absolutely amazing.”

Wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to her 5.7 million Twitter followers Nov. 22, she gushed: “I am so grateful for my new lil family!”

Notes the source of pregnancy number two: “She really is overjoyed!”

Well hell. That was fast. I mean, if it’s true, of course. It’s not Tori Spelling-fast, but it’s still fast nevertheless. Is it really happening? Well, it’ll remain to be seen for at least another few months. You remember how it was last time around, when Jess waited, like, six months to even announce that all of the rumors were true.

Congratulations, new lil family!

November 28, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah

3Well Hey There, Jessica Simpson

Hm. Halloween, huh? And Jessica Simpson? I mean, nothing’s going to top last year’s mummy costume, but this? Well. I’d have to go ahead and say that yes, this is a pretty good start.

What do you guys think of Jess (and OK, fine, her family, too) and this year’s Halloween getup?

October 31, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

9Holy Crap, Jessica Simpson Looks Way Hot

Because my goodness, does she ever.

Jess was recently interviewed by iVillage, where she discussed what she’s made a multi-million-dollar empire out of (not singing): fashion. And she had this surprising thing to say about her source of said fashion:

“My style icon really for my whole life has been my mother. The way she can put together and outfit and just color and even print mixing. I mean she’s just so creative and has always looked flawless to me. That’s why she runs (my clothing range) the Jessica Simpson collection. I trust her with every single garment.”

Which is totally, totally cute. I mean, do you know many women who say that their mother is their style icon? See, my mother was pretty stylish back in the eighties and early nineties, but lately she’s been more of an inspiration to me than ever. Why, you ask? Well because she helped usher the yoga pants-and-long-sleeved-t-shirt movement that I’m so into these days. It’s easy, it’s comfortable, it’s not as sloppy as baggy-assed sweats and holey t-shirts (which I still totally love), and above all, did I say it’s comfortable? Because as far as fashion goes, that’s what I’m all about: comfortable effortlessness.

Anyway, enough about me and my schleppy manner of dress—this is what Jess has to say about her own personal style:

“I would say that I’m pretty casual. I don’t ever wanna come across too intimidating, so as long as I look like you can come up and give me a hug, that’s good. My signature look has always been really classic and comfortable jeans and T-shirt.”

Jeans, t-shirt, whatever, girl. You look positively gorgeous and I hope you know it. Eat your heart out, Jennifer Hudson. Or don’t, since you clearly have issues with that word.

October 22, 2012 at 10:30 am by Sarah

8The Formerly-Heavy Jennifer Hudson is Angry at Jessica Simpson for Not Getting Fit Again

So, sources at Hollywood Life claim that former Weight Watchers spokeswoman, Jennifer Hudson, thinks Jessica Simpson is nothing but an overweight, lazy schlub who has no motivation at all to get back to her former, pre-baby, pre-chili cookoff self. And isn’t that kind of like the kettle and the pot thing? Because come on. From HL:

Jennifer Hudson is not impressed with Jessica Simpson‘s 40-pound weight loss — the former American Idol star has lost 80 pounds, and thinks Jessica’s diet “has been a colossal joke,” according to a source … [the] source claims “Jennifer is frustrated with Jess and how she’s handled her weight-loss fiasco. She thinks Jess’ stab at dieting has been a colossal joke. Jen said that Jessica still looks fat despite an enormous $4 million incentive to lose weight.” Jennifer has reportedly been a great support system for Jessica, calling her multiple times a day and FedEx-ing her diet diary to Jess. “Jennifer thinks Jess has been lazy and not serious about getting fit. Jessica obviously didn’t put in the work,” the source said. Apparently, Jennifer is done trying to be nice and helpful to Jess. “She’s written Jessica off as a total mess. Jennifer is definitely having the last laugh.”

So, first of all, did Jessica ask Jennifer to be all FedEx-ing her food journal to Jessica? Because unless she did, Jennifer’s nothing but an overbearing pain in the ass who has nothing better to do than micromanage other people’s shit. And I hate that, seriously I do. Also, if Jess is “lazy and not serious about getting fit,” how is it any of Jennifer’s business anyway? How is it really anybody‘s business (besides Weight Watchers, who Jess has her weight loss contract with) whether or not Jess is loving exercise and laying off the Mickey D’s? It’s not. And it’s really a bunch of BS when you hear of all these people trying to “support” their fellow sisters and brothers when their “support” might not be asked for—or wanted—in the first place. Also, this isn’t the first time that Jennifer has gone and stuck her nose in shit that doesn’t pertain to her. Don’t we remember how she tried to ram Weight Watchers down Adele‘s throat earlier in the year when she said, “I used to be heavy like you“? What a bunch of intrusive silliness.

I mean, contract aside, would it be completely unfeasible for Jessica to, I don’t know, be happy with herself just the way that she is? Damn.

October 4, 2012 at 12:30 pm by Sarah

8Did Jessica Simpson Try to Get Weight Loss Surgery?

From Radar:

New mom Jessica Simpson has been open about her battle to lose her baby weight, and RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that she was so desperate at one point to get back in shape that she sought out an extreme surgical method to slim down – but was turned down by doctors.

“After having her daughter Maxwell, Jessica felt there was no way she could ever lose the weight on her own because she has struggled so much in the past and her post partum weight seemed to be growing,” a close friend of the fashion designer and singer told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview.

“So like a true Hollywood girl, she sought out a quick surgical fix – lap band surgery!”

However, health experts wisely advised the Dukes of Hazzard star that a quick fix wasn’t the answer following the May 1 birth, and after seeking out two different doctors for opinions, “she was persuaded to keep pushing to do it the natural way,” said her pal.

Instead of going under the knife, 32-year-old Jessica has been blasting off the 70 pregnancy pounds by working out with celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak and sticking to her Weight Watchers eating plan, for which she is a spokesperson .

“There is a lot of pressure to lose weight but I’m not a supermodel. I’m just Jessica trying to eat real food in the real world,” she tells viewers in the new commercials for the popular diet plan.

Simpson recently told Katie Couric that she is just 10 pounds away from her pre-natal weight.

Friends are relieved that Jessica is successfully slimming down on her own, as they had feared that after once being so toned and ripped for her action roles that her weight woes would catapult her into post partum depression.

“She has had to deal with the blues in the past,” revealed the insider. “So everyone was thrilled that she has avoided PPD.

“With the doctors’ words and her friends’ encouragement, she is finally shedding the pounds without surgery!”

Request for comment from Jessica’s reps was not returned.

Oh man, how much of a disaster would it be if Jessica Simpson had actually gotten this surgery? I’m not sure if I believe this story – I guess I can kind of see it, but I don’t know, after having that C-section, I’d imagine that she wouldn’t be so keen to have another surgery, and also it makes me really sad to think about – but if it’s true, no. During lap band surgery, they put a, uh, band around part of your stomach so you can’t eat as much. But that’s not Jessica’s issue. Well, it partly is, according to her, but she gained weight during her pregnancy because she was, you know, pregnant, and also because her body did that thing where it retains a lot of water during pregnancy. Through diet and exercise, it looks like most, if not all, of her baby weight came off relatively quickly. If she had gotten the lap band, she would have been straight up miserable. Oh, and also she probably would have busted that band off in like two days.

Let’s think things through, people!

October 1, 2012 at 2:30 pm by Emily