Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Jessica Simpson

IT’S A BOY!

A photo of Jessica Simpson

Well, that sounds like an early headline, doesn’t it? But don’t worry, everything’s fine. It’s just that Jessica has gotten to that stage in her pregnancy where the fetus grows its reproductive organs. And it grew boy parts!

Apparently, Jess is really excited to have a son: it’s her “dream come true.” When she was growing up, she always wanted a little brother, and she’s just so glad that her daughter Maxwell will be able to have that. That’s nice, isn’t it? I love when things go well for Jessica Simpson.

In other adorable Jessica Simpson news, she was on The Tonight Show earlier this week and she gave some pretty classic statements, like this gem:

“We’ve had two different wedding dates, but he keeps knocking me up. I’m doing it very backwards, I know! I’ll just keep my legs crossed this time.”

Oh, Jessica. Never, ever change. I love you too much.

And speaking of other things I love too much, here’s what happens at the foot of my bed every single night:

Are you feeling all the love yet?

Jessica Simpson Got Her Own Sitcom!

A photo of Jessica Simpson

When I think about the things that the world needs, a sitcom starring Jessica Simpson, based on her life, is actually pretty high up there. It’s probably like no more wars, more equality, less poverty, Jessica Simpson sitcom. In that order.

Luckily, Jessica herself has realized this, and so did some people who could make it happen. So it’s happening. Yes.

From Us Weekly:

Ready for your closeup, Jess? Second-time mom-to-be Jessica Simpson is set to star in an NBC comedy pilot presentation inspired by her own her life, Deadline reports.

The project, which does not yet have a title, will be a fictionalized version of the singer-turned-actress-turned-fashion mogul’s colorful life in the public eye. It is being produced by Universal Television and Electus, the company behind Simpson’s other current TV series, Fashion Star.

“We are thrilled to team up with the multitalented Jessica Simpson to bring this new sitcom to life on NBC as she is truly a modern-day Lucy with incredible comedic chops,” Electus founder and chairman Ben Silverman said. “From running a fashion empire to wrangling her public image as a new mom, we see Jessica’s character approach a variety of ‘everyday’ circumstances that will get audiences laughing out loud.”

“I am so excited to work with Ben and NBC again, this time on a scripted comedy,” Simpson, 32, added of the semi-autobiographical venture. “I often find myself thinking that no one could ever make up the things that actually happen in my life, so between the real life elements and a great team of writers, I think we’ll have people laughing.”

If crying over this announcement, clearing out my schedule completely for the next few months in anticipation of the airing of the first episode, and preparing to make the perfect buttered Pop-tart in her honor is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Jessica Simpson Wants You to Know She Looks Like This Now

photo of jessica simpson pictures tweet baby bump pic
The Twitter caption?:

Bumpin’ and proud

So what are we guessing here, four months pregnant? Three? I know that pregnant ladies who were pregnant almost immediately prior to becoming pregnant again sometimes have that extra-big, extra-early belly happening (I mean, even Jess’s boobs might be pregnant this time around), but I don’t really think that Jess could be any further than four months, if even three.

Either way, she does look pretty great. I wonder how things are going to turn out in the end for her, and if Weight Watchers is going to put her back in cuffs and shackles the moment her new baby is born, you know? So many things to consider here, guys.

Jessica Simpson’s Boobs Are Probably Going to Explode

A photo of Jessica Simpson

So Jessica Simpson posted this photo on Twitter yesterday, and she captioned it “fun in the sun.” And I’m sure she was excited about her vacation, and I know she likes to share personal photos on Twitter, but all I can think about are her boobs. Does that make me a bad person?

I sort of have this fear of pregnancy boobs. See, my sister got pregnant with her first kid when I was 10, and I was convinced that it was my duty to read through all of the books that she got to teach her about that special time. So I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting in between The Babysitters Club, and I kept learning that during pregnancy, and then during nursing, your boobs can grow A LOT. I was already an early bloomer (one day in fifth grade I decided I didn’t want to wear a bra for once, and my teacher had to have a little talk with me about appropriateness), and I was already used to being teased for it, so I just got this horrible image of being ALL BOOB, and literally toppling over, and having everyone in the world call me Big Boob Girl, my beloved second grade nickname.

The fear stuck though, and while I don’t worry about toppling over anymore, I worry about having to buy new bras, which are stupid expensive now anyway, and having my clothes not fit right. Oh, and about my boobs strangling me in my sleep. You know, more realistic things.

But anyway, Jessica Simpson just reignites that terrible fear in me, but at the same time, hey, boobs. Everybody loves boobs. Come get you an eye full of boob!

Jessica Simpson is Pregnant on the Beach

photo of jessica simpson on the beach new pregnancy pictures
This is Jessica on her recent holiday trip to Hawaii, and she looks so great and so happy. As you guys probably already know, Jessica is expecting her second child, and if her mini-bump is any indication as to when we can expect the newest little Simpson Johnson (ha), it’s probably going to be right around the time that Jess gave birth to Baby Maxwell last year, which was May-ish, I believe.

I know I might be in the minority (especially since I have no affiliation with Weight Watchers), but I’m pretty stoked for Jessica and Eric. They were positively over the moon about Maxwell, and any further addition to their family, I’m sure, is only going to be welcomed with the same gusto and love that they apparently have for raising that adorable little Maxi.

Congratulations, friends!

So I Guess Jessica Simpson Is Pregnant Again

A photo of Jessica Simpson

I mean, we pretty much already knew that, but since Jessica Simpson tweeted this photo of her daughter Maxwell yesterday, I think we can go ahead and consider that rumor confirmed.

But let’s do some math real quick. Since Jessica waited so long last time to announce her pregnancy, I’m going to go ahead and assume that she at least waited the customary three months to announce this one. That means that she probably conceived sometime in September? Jeez. She had Maxwell in May. It’s like, give yourself some downtime, girl.

And for what it’s worth, Weight Watchers took the time to let Jessica Simpson know that they are so, so happy for her, and not at all angry.  Here’s what they posted on Twitter:

Congrats to @JessicaSimpson, Eric and big-sister-to-be Maxwell! Your WW family is so thrilled for you. What an amazing year you’ve had!

Oh, Jessica.